All Comments on 'A Cold and Snowy Night'

Maybe some people like their stories written in the present tense but not me. They read like mistakes, plus you sometimes lapse into past tense, like some NFL talking head. Too bad because the story itself showed great promise.

..Wow, what horrible English skills. "Seen" actually is "saw," and the following was just as crudely written.

You write like a middle-school dropout. Get an editor and take their advice.

I think the lapses with your tense usage do spoil an otherwise delicious little story.

I've been following you for a bit and wish you would heed some of the advice you've been given by your readers. YOU NEED TO GET ASSISTANCE WITH EDITING AND PROOFREADING!! Your ideas are good and you can organize the flow pretty well. But you absolutely cannot write worth a damn!! Readers will not continue to follow your writing if you continue to offer such a mediocre product. **

I'm not going to nit pick about the editing and such. As long as I can understand a story I'm pretty much good with that. However I hope you add to the story. Hopefully daddy and daughter get their happing ending together. Just the two of them and if dad has any since please let him kick the ex-wife to the curb.

I give you a 4 for the idea and pacing, but a two for grammar and editing.

What a great story

I too have been following you and waiting for you to take some of the advice offered in good faith, and yet you never have; are you really so enamored of your own perceived ability that you cannot see yourself improving in any way? Once again all the previous errors and awkwardness of grammar and phrasing are here, and more. I think I won't bother reading any more of your work, because, my friend, you are really hard work, and I just don't have the time, interest, or inclination to keep mentally correcting you as I read, not as long as you keep going through the same old hoops.

It's a real shame, I had high hopes for you, and I really hoped you'd take so much well-meaning advice to heart, apparently you're constitutionally incapable of accepting anyone else's viewpoint or opinion. Good bye, and good luck. Three stars for the effort, one star off for not ever listening.

Asshole's advise is worth nothing, and a asshole fag's advise is worth even less, Go back into your basement asshole annony and leave real people alone. gave it a 5 to help the score.

"If only he would not have let". Seriously? Do you have an idea of how badly this sentence is written? It's a double conditional negative, and is meaningless. All you had to write was "If only he hadn't let.......'. Easy, isn't it? When you know how.

Just

Stop

"Writing"

Until he came on her stomach. Takes away so much from a incest story when the vum isn't in the pussy. So I will mark down for that sorry. Otherwise good effort but I'm giving it a 2. Would be 3 but ....

Ok how do you plunge slowly

A tender story being snowed in. Where did they get the matches?

I like your work.

The editing could be better, and there is a degree of repetition. But I suppose that could be simply a matter of leitmotifs. I do the same thing myself.

I would object to Jasmine's profession and the fake tits. But it's your story.

Like you, I am of pure German descent, yet I dream of biracial daughters with enormous breasts: deliciously verboten indeed. Haven't covered that in my work just yet, but I plan to.

Meantime, keep up the good work.

This story was prior to me having an editor who helped put me on the right path. If I wrote this again it would be much, much better. See some of my later work and you should be able to detect a difference. Thanks for the positive feedback.

it looks like little jaz is a scum of the earth whore just like mommy dearest...daddy is a rapist so prison for both is recommended...

Nearing 10pm and he can see storm clouds rolling in? Up north in the winter?