All Comments on 'A Cop Fetish'

Very sexy stuff...

I liked the idea, girl in rotten relationship finds out what she's really missing. The first thing I noticed was the time line was all over the place. The cat dying that morning wasn't necessary. The "yet another" fight with fiance' fit the piece, I would like to hear more about what they fight about in general, including that day. I didn't know you could get cheeseburgers at such a fancy restaurant, or maybe that's not where she wanted to eat at all.

Secondly, the characters might be able to be fleshed out more clearly if it's all from her point of view and not from his. What is she thinking when she rolls down the window? What are her impressions of bribing a cop, instead of with money, with sex? She likes, in the end, being a slut. How did she feel about it when she realized that's what she was doing? Can the second cop be introduced strictly with dialogue and without his own point of view?

Don't get me wrong, I stuck with the story. So it's not bad. The physical scenes definitely had an affect on me. I would just like to see some editing so that it flows better. I skipped paragrahs to get to the "juicy stuff", and I'd rather be riveted on all counts by the plot, etc.

Hey--is this autobiographical in any way? Just wondering, because I too have a cop fetish, and I have no idea what to do about it! Don't have enuf money to wreck the car! :O Post me a note at http://www.funadvice.com/members. I am Joker122. Thanks!