All Comments on 'A Dangerous Game Ch. 02'

Can you say "Divorce?"

Or what's a story for???

Steph's job? Apron and uniform? So is she the waitress he's going to nail or is it really someone else? A co-worker?

Who's steph's lover? What's the game? What are the rules and how does one win or lose? And why are they playing the game?

You have not given us enough details to be interested in your characters. There are more details in the list of "Tags" than there are in your stories.

The tags state where the 'story' is going 1 star without needing to read the story thanks for the tags.

I agree with the previous comment about details. Are they really in love or does he truly think he Is an asshole? Who's idea was this? That would help give us an insight into potential trouble down the road - which I absolutely love. Excellent writing ability. Can't wait for more.

Written by a pervert.

but this eclipsed it!

...but you can accomplish this over time. Think of this as the first chapter of a novel, and build the characters slowly and with small details told as the story unfolds.

You write well - I'm curious to know more about these people and their game - and making the reader want more is, after all, the writer's central goal.

More, please.

it was total dog shit as usual.

Just w o w. No.

I had to see if part two could possibly be as bad as part one. It was worse.

At least this writer is consistent, consistently bad. Ridiculous

Thanks for the heads up 26thNC.