by HankWilliams1956
man, loved the story. you had me cumming in my shorts like crazy, i was so wet, cant wait till the next story.
Story is good, but the writing is distracting. You need an editor. Keep working at it.
Penny and I didn't go anywhere for Thanksgiving,
as far as going to see any family like we would
usually do last year and neither one of us felt
like cooking a big meal, just for the two of us,
much-less cook something to take with us to a family
members house to eat it, so we ended up just going
to a restaurant to eat a nice holiday meal that they
had prepared for that day. On Christmas last year we
exchanged gifts with each other, which really consisted
of gift cards good at a couple of stores for each other,
not really knowing what to get for the other one since
the wife wasn't around anymore. With the roads clear by
Christmas again, being the third ice and snow storm for
the year, we again went to a restaurant to eat Christmas dinner.
COULD HAVE BEEN MORE LIKE THIS
Before my wife died, the three of us would attend family
gatherings for holidays, but since then Penny and I had graciously
declined their offers.
We couldn't face a day filled with "How are you holding up?" and
"Is there anything we can do?" As well-meant as they were after
a time it gets on your nerves.
Neither of us felt like cooking, so we went to a restaurant
that served a full holiday spread. It was nice, but we still
felt the absence of her mom.
For Christmas we exchanged gift cards as we hadn't felt like
shopping, and didn't have the input from my wife, who always
knew the perfect gift to give.
We declined more invitations for Christmas dinner, as travelling
on icy roads was a stark reminder of our loss. and went back to
the same restaurant as we had a month earlier.
Great story, slow buildup was great. Really a love story!! With hot sex!
The story was ok, but your writing style, or syntax makes it difficult to read. I had to keep rereading sentences to get the meaning. Read your stories out loud to yourself, and you may be able sèe what I am talking about. Keep writing and you will get better.
Difficult to read and detracted from what could have been a good story.
I loved your story. You had a nice build up to the sex part. It would be much easier to read if the sentences were shorter. I was able to get your meaning most of the time, but I had to read the paragraphs over and over. Looking forward a follow up to this story.
ME&MY DAUGHTER WENT THRU THE SAME THING.I HAD A TREAT.MY GRANDAUGHTER.WENT WILD WITH ME.THEN MY GREAT GRANDAUGHTER JUMPED ME&WENT CRAZY&WILD.THEY ARE TAKING TURNS NOW.I THINK THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE ON EACHOTHER.MY TREAT THEY SAID I COULD WATCH.
"A Daughter's Christmas Gift:" - Eighteen Year Old Experienced Daughter, Penny and Late Thirties Year Old, Widowed Father, Jay.
A number of issues/problems I've encountered have been commented on by previous readers. The word "syntax" was mentioned several times. My estimation is that "syntax" is very near the first consideration when writing...whether, personal letters, stories, business, etc., and is a must for good, smooth, understandable grasping of the story and easy-style reading.
The story theme is good, but not unusual. Daughter Penny has, seemingly, had her sights on her father as her partner/lover for many years, even while her mother was alive--up until just over one (1) year ago when her mother died. Twenty some years later their children, over time have, have been raised and conditioned to become lovers and life partners in the vein of their parents--mother and half sister, Penny and father and grandfather, Jay.
I'm very fond of the incestuous love, partnership and lovers of Daughter Penny and her Father, Jay. Father and daughter or daughter and father, is my second favorite genre of incest, with my first favorite being mother and son' love and romance should always prevail in all incest stories!. Of course the cherry topping for my fondness of incest, is the impregnation of the familial female.