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All Comments on 'A Day in the Sun Ch. 01'

by Thoran

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AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
English?

Bulging Mucles From The Sun ? ....Plua-eeeeeze Also I noticed you are very fond of saying the word NOW,the reader nows what time frame he is reading about...There is NO need to continually referance the time by saying Now

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Great story, love the theme and idea

but dont you just love critics who cant spell themselves! Ignore his comments, just heed the advice. Please, lets have chapter two!

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