by adrianhayter
Well written, if somewhat brief. I see a lot of potential for a second chapter, perhaps with stronger D/S overtones and more character exploration.
Good story. I do think you have much room for more chapters, though. I mean do they get to the town they want? Does he get a passport? DO they stay together? Do they find a way to get compensation out of the fat man? You have areas to explore, no?
Really liked this part, though.
A good strong story but unreal.. To do like that guy is only possible in your imagination or if they had known each other for a long time before, knowing each others quirks and feelings... Cheers Yoron.