All Comments on 'A Family Affair'

WOW!!!!

very hot storie , I was hard almost the whole story, can't wait till they bring Hannah in, hope mom lifts Hannah panties to her nose and deeply inhales her sweet smell before going down on her

A HOT read! Looking forward to lots more--No pressure there, huh?

So fucking hot! Five stars and a favorite point!! Please continue with Hannah baby joining the mix!

Chapter two very soon please.

Ali's art is one of my favorite stories. So please give this the same great treatment.

Everybody understands, consciously or not, that a boy's penis is very important to him, and not just for peeing. So what could be more natural than that the kid wants to use it for the benefit of the females dearest to him, his sis and above all his mom? You could say that down deep every normal boy has a family-oriented penis.

A hot and interesting history. Not too long, but deliciously slow to explain many things.

I hope the author write a sequel soon.

5* for you.

I apologize for my English, is not my native language.

moar!!!!!!!

Loved it and this is what 5 star writing looks like. I hope you give us more with these characters.

Awesome

I hope there's more to come with this story.

An excellent story, well told and with a good story line. That being said, you definitely need to work on your tenses. Sometimes you use two or three in the same sentence. And check the story line. On page 8 Maddie left home in a short summer dress with very brief panties. An hour later, at the bar, she is in jeans with no panties!

Well, that was terrific. This was well told and very erotic. The dialogue rang true and the story kept my interest throughout. I did notice a few mistakes ("my" instead of "her" a few times) but that did nothing to hamper the storytelling. Please continue the story of Angie and her children. And I think Maddie was right about bringing Hannah into the fold.

Angie's right. You should bring Hannah-baby in. And thanks for doin so.

a little hard to keep up with, but still and excellent read.

Need chapter for Maddie's climax, Hannah, and the blending of sex

Looking forward to your next installment, and yes Hannah-baby needs to join the fun.

a good story over all, definitely has it's moments. however, you really need to go back and proof this. in particular, your use of the present and the past tense in the same sequence was really frustrating. and countless times you used the word 'my' when that made absolutely NO sense at all. it's like you were writing as a 3rd person, then suddenly jumped in to first person. very distracting and annoying. you can and have done better and really, this is an easy fix. do hope you make the necessary changes, too good of a story to leave this way.....

Very well written. Few mistakes - probably typos that slipped through. So hot with mom and sis but a little disappointed that Maddie hasn't had her brother fuck her pussy yet. I assume there will be a sequel. Lesbian stuff does little for me, maybe there's something wrong with me, I don't know. Anyway, thanks for a good read.

I want to read when he fucks maddie and mom the same night all in her bed. then they keep going with this wonderful new relationship.

It is a gripping story meant to arouse,which it did very well. It's not up for the NYBSL.

Due to the oh-so-annoying typos!

Omg..this s going to be my fav story

There's part of me that thinks Maddie's a touch bipolar with her multiple, cool as a cucumber provocateur scenes. That's hot ...well for now. Maybe less so, if she adopts a Cambodian baby and volunteers for United Nations.

very interesting story. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I would hope that where will a continuation with Hanna Maddie Josh and Mom

Please just write in 3rd person pov rather than changing characters every three paragraphs. The last part I think was meant to be Angie pov but I think was actually 3rd person. Gets confusing to writer and reader with changing characters all the time.

The concept and most of the execution is top notch - imaginative yet realistic, with just enough drama to add tension instead of the usual "hey brother let me suck your cock" that pops up too often in the first couple of paragraphs.

No, you bring the reader along nicely. My only complaint is the editing - it's like you wrote three first person accounts, then went back and changed it all to third person but missed some places. You even use "me" and "she" in the same paragraph to refer to the same person. With the right editing this piece would have been better than most anything else here.

Counting Crows almost killed my hard-on ;) but the rest is A+, as usual. I arrived after the POV brouhaha but the story as it currently appears is one of the finest uses of third-person erotica I've read in a long while. Great examples are rare, but bravo.

Would have loved to be inside her!

Loved the sly humor throughout and the and the character of Mattie was captivating and compelling. The story throughout was well crafted and totally HOT. Ditto to all of the comments that were left.

This was an extremely long trip to a predictable ending.

Great story. I’d be grateful for more Family Affair.

it was a bit drawn out, a good story but when they went to the gig she was wearing a skirt, but some how transitioned into jeans the same night while still at the show....?

I really wanted Josh to fuck Angie's ass and for Maddie to make good on her desire to give Josh a rimjob. It would be the hottest, though, if Josh fucked both their asses and had them go ass-to-mouth. If Angie is as much of a butt slut as she claims to be, she should have no problem with it.

I really liked the story, the length did it service.

There were enough places that somehow flow was lost that I juat decided to read through them, making assumptions about what you were trying to say. There seemed to be some timeline confusions.

If this were a creative writing class, I'd probably mark it fairly low. As erotica, it adds a lot of bonus points.

Did the length of the story facilitate the sex or did the sex facilitate the length? It seemed to take forever for the kids to do mom, and then it was rushed. When do they include Hannah-baby?

Really wanted more with the mother and Hannah. The length was not a problem but maybe you could make a Ch 2. Would love more.

Waiting for Ch. 2. A threesome wih mom and her two childresn. Maybe Hannah can join them.

Too many Mistakes...

Is mom Angie Taylor or Angela Spencer?

Is the little dicked blind date Brent or Greg?

Is the drummer Darren or Mike?

Did Madi wear a short dress to the gig or jeans?

Things like this normally don't bother me, but they normally don't happen this much in one story. One messed up name one time is easy to over look, not multiples like this one had, not so much. Then when you finally get to the heart of the story, the three of them together Madison started out in a dress shorter than her mothers, then Josh is unbuttoning her jeans??? Correct continuity is important.

I don't know what it is about this piece but it for me it felt like a slow descent into madness, there's something uncomfortably dark there by the end.

Continue to part 2 Hannah joins in

Nice story. Loved the interactions between the family, but I really don't understand what's the point of Hannah's character and what is she doing there. Usually, on this kinda stories she'd just been Josh's gf that he leaves for an incestuous life, that's fine. But he's kinda in love with her? When she basically is using him to bang his mum and sis?

Idk.

What a hot story, this would make a great series.

great ...needs a follow up chapter

This was excellent!! One of the best on this site! The name Hannah-baby cracked me up. Thank you.

Loved it! Chapter 2 soon?

The Hannah wasn't necessarily needed other than that great story

I read about 3/4 of the story I was so bored and stopped ill hopefully finish it some other time 4

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