All Comments on 'A Father's Dream'

Wow! great story...the good Earth teaches us well...who are we to defy Nature?

I really needed ten stars to rate this!

This is one of the best stories I have read recently on this site. It is perfect and ticks all the boxes, good length. Please keep up with more father daughter stories. Thanks.

This story stands on its own, even without the sex. It contains some ideas that are new to me, and very interesting. Well written, with a few mistakes in spelling that you should edit. Good job.

This story was different and you've written it well but the characters are 1 dimensional and boring. the father is a pushover who you made into a mix of an emo and bilbo from lotr. The constant whining by the father was also overused and forced, it'd been what 15+ years and he's still hung up on one woman who basically did him the worst you could do to a man. Grammatically this story is an A, plotwise and char development i give a c-, the daughters boring and a knockoff of any post twilight teen female lead emo, thick, and depressing.

I enjoyed it quite a bit. Gave it a 4 because of the typos and spelling errors and I like to give 5 only for perfection. Not sure what some of the Anon posters' complaints are. The story is good and the characters are relatable.

I think it's the first long story that I really enjoyed. It was told as though it actually happened and none of it was crude or fantasy. Of course the grammer was terrible and yet excusable,I think you were in a hurry.

I love story telling and this story was very well done. My only problem with it was the pace of the story. It was slow and often drawn out. The subject matter was very interesting and played extremely well, and as far as I was concerned could have been made, or can still be made into a multi-part series. However, the "He Did"/"She Did" way of telling this story has to be changed in order to make this story move along at a more exciting pace.

Prolonged_Debut10

I'll be as honest about it as I can be. At this time this is the best I can do grammer wise.

My last English class was 23 years ago and I was failing it. I was a c-d sturdent at best through most of high school. I never went to college or took creative writing. I have been writing for only about a year now.

I am self taught when it come to typing, computers, and writing. I am reading up on lot of books about grammar but at the moment it's just not clicking yet. In fact some of it makes no sense at all. Shrugs.

I also can not at this time pay to learn. So...

Most people tell me to get an editor. I could do that. It would improve my stories...but not my writing. I'm here to learn to be a better writer. I'm doing it one story at a time.

To those that love my stories in spite of the flaws, thank you.

To those that can't stand them because of the flaws, tell me what they are and what you see that i'm doing wrong ( I know about the hominid problem, working on it). I'll try to change them in the next story.

To the Anons with nothing better to do than tell someone online that he's a terrible writer...get a life already.

Or better yet stop posting Anon and lets see what you an do.

I have the courage to write badly knowing that it will get better the more I write.

I am learning, I am trying...It will take time and this is a hobby, that while I love, I can only gvie so much time too.

Again thank you for your votes and comments

M.S.Tarot ( the SCA pirate)

Loved it!!

Please keep writing your stories..

I will watch for more stories from you .

Thank You

Worthy of publishing given an editors quick glance.

bravo well done a lustful story with great characters and back story to match

MSTarot, Please don't listen to those nitwits who only can criticize your grammer. It doesn't matter. What matters is the story. The creativity; the uniqueness. This story was brilliant. The pacing was fine. I was sorry when the story ended. I wanted more. Please don't listen to your detractors; keep coming up with new ideas and keep entertaining us. Thanks, DWINOH

This was an excellant story. Please dont listen to all the grammer critics! cant wait to see continuance to this story line. I cant wait to read bout how Brian and Chantel's love continues to grow.

Fantastic story, kept me riveted for every word, by far one of the best I have read.

a lovely sweet, charming love story between father and daughter. this is only the second story i've read here that comes close to what a father/daughter relationship should be. not the nasty foul mouthed father with the daughter always begging him for it...but a mutual desire fueled by love not lust.

... because it was 7 pages. But, I am honestly glad I read it all the way through. It was a wonderful story.

Thank you, 5 stars - only because I can't give it a 10.

My normal writing mode is to find a conflict then build my Characters around that and let them work their way through it. All the while trying to give little visual clues about what's around them.

With this I had to stay with the theme and still try to do that. That addded length that when I edited back through it I didn't want to cut out.

I almost put it in Novela but I did that with my last contest story. Changes every time that's my moto (if I decide to start having a moto). Going Lebian for natinal nude day, mature for summer loving, Letters for halloween, and interracial for Christmas.

Yes I already have those stories wrote. Just not finished to my satisfaction.

Glad you enjoyed it.

M.S.Tarot

It's a pleasure to now and then find real writing that's erotic rather than just porn. To find a story that stands on it's own merits, one that is told beautifully with feeling, with people who could almost be real. People who are full of real emotions, including boredom, pain, sadness, jealousy, fear and of course real tender love.

A wonderfully told tale.

Thanks

The story read as it was being lived out. It really the best story I have read. I just could not stop reading. Thanks for a great story that wasn't pron but a real LOVE story between two people. That is the kind of love you can feel as you read the words

I loved the detail about life on the farm, well formulated and thought out - especially given the contest theme.. The relationship development was very well done. The concluding change of the daughter's status in the relationship was inevitable, but worth the read to see how it unveiled itself. Nicely done!

because of the beauty of the writing and the power of the story. But I'm afraid the many errors reduced that to four. That's just me I'm afraid. I read about the reasons for the errors, and understand them. You'll get better with time and experience. Please don't stop writing.

I loved this story and am so glad I didn't skip it for it's length. I'm 18 and have recently starting talking to my biological father. I also worry over my weight (what teenagers don't?) so I felt really close to Chanel as she met her father and began falling in love with him. This was beautifully written and honestly, I didn't notice the grammar issues, I was too entranced with your lovely submission. I feel horrible however, because when I went to give it 5 stars, I accidentally clicked three stars instead. I'll be making a account soon and revoting. I'll also stop voting on my iPhone. Best of luck in the contest!

You got some skillz there author!

The way I see it, and I'm talking about your writing ability now, is that telling a story and having a voice, creating a flow and atmosphere with depth and decent continuity, well, these are going to be your main tools.

Grammar can be taught. Most of the above cannot.

It's why I wholeheartedly disagree with Scotsman69 below scoring you only a 4 instead of 5. His reasoning, to my mind is flawed. Naturally, he can score you anything he wants, it's his right. Just the reasons he gave, just don't cut it... You had spelling mistakes, sure. But they weren't that bad. On the other hand, it's obvious, that an enormous amount of work has gone into this story, and from my point of view, I think that that effort has paid off. The story was very readable, well constructed and an absolute delight to read. It was original, funny and had a plot that kept me interested all the way through... even though I hate all that nature/earth day/conservation/save our planet shit, this story still kept me stuck to my screen right to the end!

Anyway, rant mode *off*, and thank you author for an excellent tale!

My thesaurus doesn't have enough compliments for this story. To hell with minor spelling variations, I for one, always knew what you meant and revelled in your wonderful way of saying it. your story held me spellbound long past the point I needed to go and do other things.

This should have been a 10 star story. Loved it.

Now to your library of other works.

After starting this story I found it difficult to put it down but soon picked it up again. That you wrote for almost 6 pages before reaching the inevitable, and that in itself, was beautifully written with sensitivity, shows writing skills that few authors have. The way the story is written makes me wonder if you have not had some of these experiences yourself. Well written and look forward to reading more of your submissions. If you decide to have further submissions edited, I would be pleased to proofread for you.

The second story of yours that Ive read and it was even better than the first. I loved the slow build up! Very few errors and those easily overlooked.

I agree wholeheartedly with many of the other commenters here. This is a fantastic piece of writing. And I also would like to offer my proofreading services if you ever feel you want it. I've read a few of your other pieces and noticed errors in some of them too. This story, though, had me wondering how you could write such wonderful detail with such poor grammar and spelling. Really, I was stunned at one point that your use of the language was so far above your spelling ability. I guess I always believed that they went hand in hand.

Anyway, congratulations on a great story.

Another amazing story that left me gasping. A beautiful love story of two people that needed something more in their lives and their realisation of where to find it. I always love reading your stories and this was definitely one that I will revisit again and again.

So OK, let me be clear: I LOVED this story, pretty much fell in love with Brian (although the hair thing really did kinda turn me off... I love a man who just shaves his skull completely rather than holds on to wisps of hair! haha) and loved hearing about his home and land and farm... I think the hard part about this story for me was that I didn't really understand who Chanel was - her mom falsely accused her dad of domestic violence and took sole custody of their daughter, yet Chanel seems to have loved her and, more bizarre even, Brian still loved her after all these years? Yeah, I just didn't really get that, didn't understand how someone raised by someone capable of such things could just fall in love with the country life in four months... THAT BEING SAID, I really did enjoy the story and would REALLY love to see another chapter, to see what they do moving forward...

As to the grammar: Those who keep saying the errors are "not important" probably don't see 1/2 the errors for lack of grammar (NOT GRAMMER!!) knowledge themselves, so how could they KNOW how distracting the errors are? That's the thing - the errors are DISTRACTING, they are like a record with a scratch, so the play is not smooth but kinda jumps in playback (yes, I know, I'm showing my age, I am fine with that! haha)... And I also saw your explanations for the errors, all of which make perfect sense to me, Tarot... Here's my offer: If you want, I will offer, for free, to edit your daddy daughter incest stories before you submit them to be posted! I have very very good grammar/syntax knowledge, was even Copy Editor at my college newspaper a few years, and could fix the errors quite easily for you. I wish I could offer to do this for ALL your stories, but I really don't have that kind of time, but that's my favorite kind to read, so I can at least help you with that, if you'd like? It's a win-win situation, the way I see it! haha Anyway, let me know! :)

So many stories have the typical buildup with sexual tension. You gave it a much more life like appeal. You injected humor, and warmth and caring. Probably just need someone to go through and proof read it, but the core of what you wished to accomplish has remained true I think...you wrote a GOOD story. Thank you for writing it.

Sincerely, Payenbrant

Such a sweet story. I read you at the bequest of some other who are my favorites. I would have done it under my pseudonym...but my computer doesn't like to let me make comments when I do so. Anyway. Yes....an editor would be good. It does not detract away from the emotion of your story. I love the simplicity of it all. It is complex in it's simplicity. I love reading stories like this, and the humor that you bring to it as well...very well done. If ytou wish an in depth review I will do so. It owuld be too long for your comments section. Sincerely, Payenbrant.

as to the grammar mistakes...phhhhht

i really loved the way you described her, not as a thin, hot, big tits, blonde bombshell. but as a normal 17 yo girl might look to herself.

really liked the pace and story line.

i also read the comments and i must disagree that an editor is crucial to a great story. is this one ready for a publisher?? no but neither are so many others i read on here. if you give it your best shot and put it out there for everyone to tear apart then you are way ahead of most of us here. i include myself there also. i love a good story but i cant write a lick....GOOD JOB!!!!!

Another great story!

I enjoyed how MSTarot started the story with a father's anxiety, waiting at the airport, continually looking at the arrivals/departures board, waiting to see when his daughter's flight arrived. Been there, done that. So very realistic - I think that's what I enjoy the most about your stories - the realism! I feel that I'm there, underneath the "invisibility cloak", actually witnessing the action - a gift that few authors have, but that makes the story so much more enjoyable. And the dogs are "real" characters as well.

Yes, I noticed the grammar/spelling issues, but for me they are momentary blips in an otherwise enjoyable journey, i.e., they don't bother me that much (this coming from a professional writer). I think that most people today don't write as well as our ancestor from, say 100 years ago, nor do I think short-handed texting helps. But I don't believe in nitpicking either.

Would love to read a sequel

luv2read2 (unfortunately, I keep on getting an "undefined" error when I attempt to sign in and leave this comment)

The pace of the story matched the story content. Typical hippy type of laconic tale. Yes, some spelling and odd grammar BUT none actually impeded the flow.

I read this last year and fondly remembered it and refound it for another read.

Now to see what other gems you have created.

I noticed a lot of mistakes throughout this story; Spelling, homophones, grammar, punctuation. awkward sentences etc. All such things hamper the reading flow, and thereby the immersion, which is a shame, it really needs a thorough round or two of proofreading.

Still a fairly enjoyable tale, though it could use a bit more fleshing out, avoiding such a large time-skip, to make their attraction more of a slow build up, rather than have it feel so abrupt on her 18th birthday, perhaps adding an epilogue to show how they will manage their love, there are certain hurdles that needs to be overcome.

On another note the story kinda reminds me of an old movie from the 80's, where an attractive grown up daughter returns to her father's farm/homestead, and ends up seducing him. I think he was a miner or something.

Great story - loved every bit of it. Yes there are some typos\grammar errors but they didn't bother me enough to detract from the story. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

The character building was great. I think I am very attracted to Brian myself :)))

A sweet and passionate love between two true lovers.... beautiful

a VERY, VERY good story! You could actually go on with it, and make it a small romance type novel.

Man, that's a hell of a build up

I really enjoyed the whole story

The buikd up was awesome. I wish this was a full story between father daughter.

A great story which i thoroughly enjoyed though i would have liked a few more pages of it.1

Spoiler!

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You have to wait till page 6 for a fast and abrupt sex..

I get the story, but there was not enough sexual buildup..

"A Father's Dream:" - Divorced Father, Brian and Soon-to-be Eighteen Year Old Virgin Daughter, Virgin Daughter.

A number of reader's, as per their comments, believe this story is about a dream (during his night-sleep), rather than a Dream about what he wants his life accomplishments to be! In that context, father Brian's real life dream has become real--his life style, his work, his life.....except he always thought he would have his dream world include his fifteen year-ago divorced ex-wife,which life she did not want nor like! His ex-wife faked divorce conditions, causing the court to not allow him any visitations nor contact with his daughter rights. That was over fifteen years ago, when his daughter was less than two years old; he had seen Chanel until four months before her eighteenth birthday her month died, and her father was awarded custody until her eighteenth birthday--four months away.

This story, like any written word(s), is only as good as the reader wants it to be!!! This story is short of an epic, but it is fabulous.....in theme, roles of characters, their dialogue, details, concepts and includes "life down on the farm" truisms circa the early nineteenth century eras in Louisiana. The awakening love between Chanel and her father Brian for all of her young life, until four months before her eighteenth birthday, grows exponentially since she now lives with her long-estranged. long-divorced father! The story is somewhat of a short love and romance novel, it reads rather well and leaves the reader with feel-good emotions about father and daughter's future together. Great stuff, and a well messaged theme of the incest genre that develops exceptionally well.

"Then they finally manage to have their first time and their left with this feeling of ... was that it?"

YES!! Hell, I think this is the first time I've ever heard that from a guy's perspective, other than out of my own mouth!!

I thought, "This is it? This is what all that hype is about? Sure, it was nice, and it felt great and all, but ... I feel like I've been robbed after all the years and years of buildup!!"

Than you thank you! Absolutely fantastic read, the story was outstanding from start to finish! I thought the build to the erotic was outstanding, I saw comments saying it was lacking more but how much more could you ask for? It made you feel what hey were feeling, long for what they both wanted and in the end they story finished more true to how the experience would be than 75% of anything I have read. Thank you again and look forward to reading more you have written.

This is a wonderfully crafted work of art. I could see where it was going early on, but didn’t care because the journey was so good.

This was amazing. Just wished there was more sexual build up.

Avery good story, love it. AAAAAA++++++