All Comments on 'A First Time for Everything'

You have a promising storyline that needs more details of your characters to let the reader in vision them in the risque situations. Please continue with this deliscous chronicle... perhaps add some unexpected twists such as a fetish or two to spice things up!

So this is a young man's first sexual experience .... with cuffing, gag ball and the lot?

Something's wrong here, I think.

Without any prior knowledge of the two people involved, without any true emotions, without any build-up and any tension, the story leaves me cold and it resembles one of the all to many bad and sterile soul-less porn movies that probably is the "inspiration" for the story.

To write a good erotic story you need a good story and can then add sex. Sex alone seldom do the trick.

Short, but very intense; I hope you do another chapter in which they take the next step.

Thank you.

the start was rough needing more information and background, but I can see the story you wanted to tell is not about anyone in particular. Your story is about a nameless faceless person wanting to give the ultimate pleasure and release to a inexperienced young man. Great JO story for someone who enjoys a creamy kiss at the end.

You describe the actual sex quite well. Add more feelings - yours and have a guess at what he's feeling.

I get the "no build-up whatsoever" idea, but if you want us to connect and care about your characters, they need some fleshing out, or else more intense descriptions of the action.