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At first he is too shaded by the trees to be seen. However, she quickly realizes things are different again. He is not a shimmer tonight. She finds herself growing quite lightheaded, her cheeks flushing and happiness flowing through her as rugged, tanned features are exposed by the dying light of the sun, and the rising of the moon. His wide, beaming, feral grin radiates from his entire body as he approaches her, his hand gliding along her cheek as his lips descend to hers. "I claim you, Briana, as my Mate."
- COMMENTS
dbelmont699over 1 year agoOverall I have to tell you I really enjoyed it. And you know what I mean by enjoyed. But I am going to offer some criticism. It's not meant as any sort of personal attack. But like several others the whole he penetrated her cervix makes no sense. I know, this is a fantasy story. But even in fantasy we need a logical basis to hang our disbelief on. We have thousands of years of women being bred by Forest creatures and the spirit of the forest. So there is a great foundation no matter how fancyful it might be. But, we all know that penises do not penetrate cervixes.
It creates a jarring CounterPoint in and otherwise find story. I can imagine several constructs you could have used to indicate that he filled her and penetrated her as deeply as possible. Without crossing into an established disbelief.
But as I said I did enjoy the story. Even with that somewhat discordant note. I will be following you to see what other delights you create. Thanks.
ROakwineabout 8 years agoAre you actually saying he has a 2 millimeter diameter cock? Really? It's 1/10th of an inch across?
Because that's about the size of the cervical opening and it doesn't stretch particularly.
Why so many writers of erotica seem confused by the basic mechanics of sex is a mystery to me. One thing you can bet on: No one penetrates the cervix with their penis. That simply isn't how sex works.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoWonderfully written. Beautifully expressive. The attention to detail was excellent to read. You write very well. I hope you continue to do so.
Pandemosover 11 years agoand sensual. Such beautiful imagery, I had a full vision in my head. Thanks and keep writing!
