All Comments on 'A Fresh Start in Dark Water'

What a very sweet and erotic story (ok, so I'm a sucker for HEAs - sue me :)). I guess this is one of my new favorites on Literotica. The beginning was a bit slow (a bit much expose), but I really loved the pure dialogue in the second half - sharp, to the point, no frills, nothing unnecessary. I hope we will see more like this! As I titled, we don't really need backstory or explanations - use your imagination, fellow readers! Anything else would have seriously hampered the story IMO. And it's not really info that we needed.

Keep up the good work!

Author asked how I felt at the end. Kind of sad. Nick and his lady have been through quite a traumatic experience. The ending is hopeful but it is still sad that they've had a long time apart and have had a difficult time. And it is not clear that they will really be able to put the past behind them. Interesting read.

Short and to the point, just enough information to understand a bit of what happened. The love shows through the pain of loss and the wonder of finding it again. A tight and well crafted story, doesn't need any more. Two in one day from you Scorp, what did we do to get so lucky?

This was so much more than the usual suck and fuck tales dished out at LITEROTICA. Such a powerful tale of love with no unnecessary frills to make us expect more even though it isn't really necessary. A tale told so well that while it certainly can stand alone it would be a shame to let it end here. By all means a continuation please if only to lay the ghosts of Jake and Blake to rest! Outstanding writing SCORPIO, a true fan, Pete.

Finely crafted and so far beyond the usually boring "slam

bang" of some 'hot tub tales'. The reader can feel the warm water...hear the sounds ... see the lovers. Only a writer

with unusual skills can write with such depth & precision.

THANK YOU Scorpio!

Finely crafted and so far beyond the usually boring "slam

bang" of some 'hot tub tales'. The reader can feel the warm water...hear the sounds ... see the lovers. Only a writer

with unusual skills can write with such depth & precision.

THANK YOU Scorpio!

Great story from one of my favorite authors keep up the good work

I felt this could have been perfect [although no story ever really is] if it had been the wonderful narrative around the sexual experience. That is, the story idea was brilliant, but considering how tender you made that, personally I would have loved to see your choice of words to linger longer on the sexual side...perhaps the intensity of the sex could have shown more of her feelings, inadequacies from the attack etc. I think you would have dealt with that really well. Considering the length, it had everything to raise it above some of the more trashy stuff. You write well.

Three nice twists. Good sex to text balance.

srgeek

I feel like I missed maybe a paragraph or three between the third anad fourth paragraph with a little background on why it was jus an apartment to him now. That aside the rest was great I'm just used to getting the full story when I read one of your submissions. Dan

somewhere along the way you lost the plot and jumped a whole section leaving us to try and work out just what is this about????? Gave up reading after that as it just didn't make sense.

A very good short story, that's my reaction, anyway. You could make it a blues song, even.

It was more about love and commitment of the heart than sex... Good short story.

today's medicine an aleviate much scaring, everything from lotions to plastic surgery, scars also can add aura of mistique

Punishment:::abnormal abuse or molestation of a child, unusal abuse by a spouse..hitting beating documented first time depending on severity maybe long term jail time, rape spousal or otherwise...90 day to get affairs in order and a judicial review of proceedings to assure all the proper actions were taken Assuming there were no midigating circumstances which would be cause for a mistrial..the death penality. False allegations subject to the same penalities

simply put, we cannot prevent the first time but we sure as hell can prevent the second time

Hmmm what a concept - most good people know this without help - for the rest above is help - take it.

Great story - simple and direct well done -

Retribution takes many forms - Blake and Jake lucked out all they did was die slowly -

I just found another author to worship. I am so late, but better late than never...

Hi Scorpio44,

I decided to explore "Mature" and got randomed to Someday, which I enjoyed enough to have me click on you as an author to see what else you'd written.

I don't remember why I picked A Fresh Start in Dark Water next, but it moved me, short though it is.

As it unfolded it reminded me of a story I'd written. I'd love for you to read that and give me some feedback on whatever. It's called

Lonely Lover Lost

(I don't remember why I chose that name)

I'd love Literotica to have a story section for "people who believe they can't and find out they can".

no explanation as to why they cut her...nothing about how he killed the two guys...all left hanging.....needs fleshing out to explain what it is all about...

I liked it!!

I normally prefer longer stories or even multiple chapter stories, but this one was just perfect!!

You asked for the reader's feeling at the end: relief that fear and loneliness are gone, relief that a bleak present has been replaced by a bright future.

A good start to what could be a great story. What happened, who are Jake and Blake? Why did they cut her, especially her face? Seems like there’s a lot more to this story, I’d like to see it.

Gave this one a four...incomplete...more holes than Swiss cheese. This should be a much longer story. If completed it would easily be a 5 in my way of thinking.

Posting the previous comment I noticed you haven’t posted a story in 10 years...nuff said

The author has given us enough to infer the details on our own! Do they need to draw you a picture?

Great example of having the reader's mind create a backstory.

Very good short story, full with emotions.

WoW!! It's an award winner. You need to enter more contests. This was a totally awsome piece!