All Comments on 'A Gift for Him'

I didn't think so. The author didn't have designs rewriting " War and Peace ". I liked the last line. I think author was just quickly dipping toe in thus genre . Harmless at worst.

Lick, lick, lick, suck. Nothing else needs to be said.

Your stories portray a real loving wife and a good relationship that should last.

How novel........Thankx

Don't try to stomp out a forest fire.

Though this is my third submission, its actually my first attempt at a story. Better stuff is on the way.

But that bar was basically laying on the ground .

Points for a real loving wife. Bring that better stuff you promised quickly , this category seriously needs it !

3 *'s

I agree with @ Crkcppr...This win the day...And I hope the "better stuff" from this and other writers are posted soon. 3*

It was enjoyable. It took me a minute to adjust to the unorthodox style, but it worked for me.

Your Bio page implies maybe you’d like constructive comments, so I’m going to try a couple. First let me start by assuring you, you have a talent for romantic short stories. So far I’ve read your “A Gift for Him” and “A Gift for Her” and they are both sweet little stories about a man and his wife totally in love.

Now that you’ve read this far, go to the story index page for Lit. and read the description for the Loving Wives category. Notice the EXTRA MARITAL words here. I think your story is in the wrong category; to make matters worse, you picked the hardest category for getting a decent score. LW abounds with readers who score and comment, not on your story, but on how your story aligns with their idea of how the world should be. I suspect these same stories in Romance category would produce much different results. One further word—every writing course I’ve taken teaches that present tense is a bad selection, and second person, present tense, is the worst of all worlds.

Suggestion—look up some of the contest winning stories and study how those authors write. Can’t hurt and might help.

Proofreading suggestions: Read your story aloud. If you have a recent version of word, use the' text to voice' feature to let word read it to you. Another help is to read backwards by paragraph. Also beware of words that sound alike but mean something different. Spell and grammar check won’t catch these. You got bit by waste vs waist, for example.

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR NEXT, I will be looking for it

PS: I'm amazed at the low number of hate comments you've garnered so far. Mostly you've gotten nice comments by some of LW's best people. Don't expect that to hold.

You are a fine story teller, the more you write the more proficient the style and ease will become... I disagree with the last comment, reading other writers is fine, but not for style, you have your own to refine.....

This wife IS 'adventurous,' in that this incorporates several things Sweetie has NOT granted Hubby in several years of marriage (kidS), but that introduces several issues, such as WHY? There is no hint of Hubby having earned this by some heroic or generous, or even just especially thoughtful deed. So, is it a GUILT motive? If so, LW might be the right category, but BGunnz gives We-The-Readers no evidence of that ... not even the hint of a off-taste creampie!

In other words ...Wrong Category, as written! Still, sweet!

Yes, thanks for help everyone.

When i posted the story i did indicate I have no idea where to post it. This seamed like something a very loving wife would do. I had hoped the site admin(s) would pick the most appropriate category and asked them as much.

Next, I've noticed that in every story I've read and every porn I've watched (if there is any context at all) its that the sex is between people who are not 'supposed to' have sex. Its always a teacher, cop, neighbor's/friend's spouce/son/daughter/parent or some kind of cheating. Or at the very least it's about single people who have thier first.

There is basically no erotica or porn that describes loving sex between a couple. Is it that sex within an established relationship is boring? Or at least a boring idea?

I have one more already about man who buys his wife a red dress and they go out in a date. After that, my fifth one will be a much longer story about a one-off affair that happens at work.

Thank you all for your patience.

I've reworked this story and resubmitted it but I'm having technical troubles.

I've also asked to move the story to EC since this doesn't seam to be the right category. Stay tuned and thanks for reading.

The problem with this category is is that it DOESNT involve actual loving wives. Usually they are cheating, worthless skanks and no its also not about swinging, most of it is rather stupid cheating and cuck stories. Yours was very good and there was nothing wrong with putting it here. And until its called Cucks r Us or Cheating Sacks of STD's Ive no problem with it being here.