All Comments on 'A Girl Can Play'

Please continue with this story.

First start by getting a new editor, one with more than a single brain cell. Remove all the frequent use of "--" and "-" (mainly at the beginning of a sentence) from the story, that isn't even grade school level basic English.

I felt her nervousness, then knew the collapse of her resistance. I've been precisely there. A sweet and entrancingly sexual story.

To the critic who objects to sentences beginning with 'and'.

There are ten of them in nearly 5,000 words, and six of the ten are reported dialogue. Don't you ever start sentences with 'and' when you're speaking? Of course you do! And isn't it common in literature for sentences to begin with 'and'? Yes it is.

Get back to nursery school where you belong, and next time you insult my editor, who has more knowledge of literature than you will ever have, at least post a name so that we can communicate with you.

I saw the author quoting people and most people speak in the vernacular, so what's the problem? I liked the story and the language.

Mmmm, well I think this is very fine, especially when compared to the general level of stories on Lit. There are some authors who stand head and shoulders above the rest, and you Scotsman, are one of those elevated few. Pity the poor single-celled creature who couldn't read the very obvious dialogic separation both in spacing and punctuation. Pity the ignoramus who can't read that you want to try something different, with regard to setting out dialogue, as is clearly spelled out in your Biographical Notes. AND congratulations to your editor, who has clearly done a great job. Well done, both of you.

This was a bit of a stretch for you, Scotsman, while still maintaining your own style. You did a great job of writing from the woman's point of view, without it becoming overly feminine. They are characters whom I would like to know more about - their individual lives, and their feelings. Perhaps, if the girl enjoyed playing, she may play again.

but it seemed very natural. As always with your writings, it was beautifully paced, lyrical (as someone else said), passionate, erotic, and evocative of emotion. Anyone who does not think you are a superb writer simply doesn't understand. And as far as the contributions of your editor, she is to be praised, for whatever changes she may have suggested to bring this piece to the level it has now attained. Part of me, however, wished it could have been longer, perhaps simply so I could have enjoyed more of the wonderful love, lust, and language of the story. Congratulations, sir!

but I hope you return to your own well-honed style and the categories you do so well: Romance and Non-consent. Oh, and anal. It's an interesting exercise to stretch as a writer and I like how you try to add the female view in your stories, but I'm not sure that it's so successful when you try to write the story entirely through the woman's eyes. Even with the obviously substantial input from your female editor. Your style change is not for the best; you are better when you write in your own voice: then we experience the charming lustful eloquent Scotsman at his most devastating. Nice try though. Your stories are always well-constructed and enjoyable.

was a very successful experiment all told. You managed to convey her reluctance and his insistence, and their final convergence, very clearly. As always, the sex was amazing. You do write it so well! Thank you! It's a very fine piece of writing.

I thought it was a very technically sound effort at a category that you are unfamiliar with. All the elements of good writing were there, and as always your dialogue was natural and informative. The descriptions of scenery were lovely. It is very clear from your writing that you are in love with your own land. The story itself was erotic and very appealingly presented, not tawdry at all, like many incest stories on this site. It was very good indeed. Thank you.

There's something really hot about the forbidden nature of cousin sex. And in reality, it seems to be a lot more common than I ever thought, which makes it even hotter. You've introduced characters in this story that I'd love to read more about. I can imagine all the wonderfully wicked things that could happen to them, and their spouses, for instance. You write exceptionally well. I hope you'll continue with this story.

He is so bad, but I love it! Grrr...he is one hot and sizzling man hell I want a piece of that, hell I want the whole thing. Great story these two are wild, naughty and so fun to read. With all their pent-up sex feelings I can't believe they won't get caught or someone is not wondering about those two.

Or at least, those of you who have posted supportively! As I hope some of you know by now, when I post a story, I put everything I can into it. I'm glad this experiment has worked for some of you.

Scotsman69

He lied and cheated. She cheated and intends on continuing, like him. They deserve each other. How is infidelity erotic? This is not your best effort pal.

Anonymous 2/11/09: exactly WHO lied? Maybe cheated, according to your morality, maybe they were honest, according to mine.

I thought it was good, an attempt as you say to write in a literate manner. I never expected to read a Tinto reference here, always nice to get a bit of local colour. I would beware of using logic in any debate with the morality police, its an alien concept to those who prefer blind faith to an intelligent argument. I think I owe you thanks both for your own work and also for alerting me to Collareddirtygirls -Forever story. Cheers. -- UK CYNIC

This is not up to your usual standard. Go to your room. Take off your clothes. Lie face down on the bed. Lube up and wait for me.

Poursuis ta route..., les chiens aboient et comme la caravanne: tu passes...

Merci mille fois. Je suppose...

Laddie, I love your work.....

That story has me wanting to book a flight to Scotland and find my own Scotsman. I love it!!!

Made me touch my pussy, and more xxxx

Your work sets scenes that are so believeable, the sex is so frantic and hot... you were right about what it does to me!

thanx for drawing my attention to your stories I thoroughly enjoyed this and look forward to reading the rest! juci x

I completely enjoyed this story. The first I've read by you and didn't disappoint at all. I have a certain sexy friend over there and I loved the Scottish words in your story. Thanks for a great read :)

I enjoyed this story a lot... I like how real it feels... The inner conflict before caving into the taboo...

you can't write either

as said by others it is very distracting to read a sentence that starts with -. why would any editor with half a brain allow you to keep the damn dashes in the story. the writing was of very poor quality also this was a total waste of time and you should be ashamed you posted it and put your name on it.

that the last commentator is so ignorant, that s/he doesn't know there is more than one way to denote speech in writing.

It had a slow build, and felt realistic rather than forced into the sex. I'd hoped for a little more of a named description of the trail as it is obviously one you have trekked / know about, but overall a great read. I particularly enjoyed the Scottish vernacular (and heard them using it in my head!). I would remove the italicized intro (minus the editor's acknowledgement!); i went into it with caution, and felt that same caution in each sentence, but only because I was looking for it and you had mentioned it.

PS. I also had no problems following the speech!

Fabulous. Love these cousins. They need to walk more mountains together