A Girl in Need Ch. 03

I drove over to his place and parked in his driveway, noticing for the first time that he had a two car garage. I got out and walked around the house, seeing a general sort of neglect to the yard. In the back was a fenced off pool, but it was covered, and looked to have been that way all season. It was almost as if Jake had given up on the place. Just as I got back to my car, a gray Ford 4x4 SUV drove in. Jake jumped out, waving two big bags of food. He passed one to me so he could get his house keys out.

He apologized, "Don't be surprised that things don't look too great. For a couple of years my only priorities have been my kids and work, anything to stay busy and keep my mind off things that hurt. Don't worry, I'll start in on it; either that or get a gardener to work on it. The yard was Jenny's love; she was out here all the time. When we moved out here from the city, she wanted a big yard, something she hadn't had before. As it is now, Mom and Dad have a big yard and pool, so we go over there a lot"

He opened the door and motioned me in. I asked him where the bathroom was so I could freshen up. He pointed upstairs, "Up and to the left, that's the main one, but be careful and don't fall over the toys. Bathtime is a favorite time around here." I went up, and sure enough, there were bath toys all over. At least it was sparkling clean, which was a surprise as I had felt the house was neglected. Unless, of course, his Mom had been in, which would explain it.

I walked back down the stairs and into the living room. Jake had turned on a gas fire and a few lights. The food was out on a coffee table in front of the fire, and a sofa was pulled into place, making a comfortable area that one would almost call romantic. A little less light would have been the finishing touch. "What kind of wine would you like?" he asked. "Red or White?"

I asked for red, and he went out to the kitchen to return, a moment later, with a liter of Yellowtail Merlot - one of my favorite wines. Jake poured two glasses and put them down on the table amongst the boxes of sweet and sour chicken balls, chicken fried rice, pork and vegetable, and beef with bean sprouts. It was a veritable feast, and it was definitely needed. As we ate, he filled me in on what had happened when he went back to the Jacobs house, and what he had done for the rest of the afternoon. I had thought I had problems with paperwork, but they didn't even begin to compare with his. I told him what I had done with the girls, where they were, and with whom.

Jake relaxed back on the couch and said to me, "Pat, I have really enjoyed working with you today. You really impressed me with the cool, calm way that you got the girls to tell their stories. I don't know how anyone could resist you; you make them feel that you are so interested in them." He leaned over and refilled the glasses.

I don't know where it came from, but I just opened my mouth and the words came out, "Jake, I really didn't come over here to talk about the case, we can do that tomorrow. The idea was to forget about it for tonight and relax a little. Do you know, you are the first man I have had dinner with at his home in 5 years? You just make me feel so comfortable."

Jake looked at me closely for a moment and then said, "Pat, it is a first time for me, too. For the first time since Jenny died, I can actually sit in front of this fire and not feel lonely."

I replied, "Jake, your voice is warm and telling me one thing, yet your eyes tell me something different. They seem cold and hurting. You said earlier today that it was a long story. I have nowhere to go right now. Sean is in bed and I have all evening. I want you to please trust me and tell me what is hurting you so much."

Tears started running down his face as he began. "Jenny was two years younger than me. We were both army brats and our parents were best friends. We weren't stationed at the same place all the time, but we were often enough that Jenny and I frequently went to the same school. I helped a couple of times when a bully was bothering her, and I wound up taking on the role of her protector. Not too many guys wanted to tangle with me, as I was a pretty hefty kid. Spending my holidays doing construction with Grandpa had seen to that."

"Both our dads ended up as Warrant Officers, and were trained in Special Forces. They went on special assignments from time to time. Eventually, because of some kind of problem, Dad left the Army and came home here to the family construction business to take over the reins from Grandpa. Jenny's dad stayed where he was in the Armed Forces. We still used to get together three or four times a year and remained fast friends."

"When Jenny was 12, her father was sent on a UN peacekeeping mission to Cyprus. His patrol was out one day in an armored car patrolling the Green Line. He had his head up out of the hatch when a Turkish soldier cut loose with a machine gun, killing him and wounding another soldier. Losing her dad hit Jenny hard, far harder than anyone realized. For him to go away so hale and hearty, and then come home in a coffin was devastating for her."

"She and her mom bought a home in Ottawa, her mom joined the Federal Civil Service, and they were getting by pretty well. We still saw them a lot as Mom and Anne were good friends, just about as close as you can get. They would come to see us and we would go to see them, so when I went to the University of Ottawa, it only made sense that I stayed with 'Aunt Anne' and Jenny. As Mom put it, that way I would get a lot more work done and a lot less partying!"

"Things between Jenny and me started slowly. In fact, I can't remember any sudden fiery feeling of love. We started going out on the occasional date, a movie, a stop for a burger, or just for a walk. Feelings developed, and then suddenly we were kissing and we would rather be together than with somebody else. Jenny had started at the University by that time, so we went back and forth together in my car. One day, it just happened. Aunt Anne called to say she was working late, so Jenny made supper - lasagna, if I remember right. When we were finished, we washed the dishes, a little picture of domesticity. I sat down on a chair and pulled her onto my lap, and that's when the fireworks started. My hand slipped on to her breast, we both started breathing heavier and, somehow, we found ourselves upstairs on Jenny's bed, naked as jaybirds, making passionate love, both of us complete neophytes and not taking any precautions at all. Believe me, after we came to, we spent the next three weeks right on the edge until her period started as usual."

"Of course, when Aunt Anne got home, the proverbial stuff hit the fan! She just had to look at our faces to know what had happened. "So, you two finally did it!" she said. "I wondered how long it would be before it happened." Then she picked up the phone, and I figured that I was in for it. She dialed Mom, and when Mom answered, Aunt Anne said, "Well, May, what we thought would happen, has. What shall we do with the pair of them? I came in and found them looking like two kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar." She listened for a moment and then put the phone on speaker, and we had a round table discussion. The big decision was that we would not do anything major, like marry, until we both finished school. I was to get an apartment, and any further sexual play was to take place there, not in Jenny's bedroom."

"That's what we did, and we played it cool. Jenny went on the pill, we kept any sex activity to my place, and we kept the parents in the loop. I bought Jenny an engagement ring when she had 18 months left to go in school."

"In my last year, I was taking a law enforcement course as filler. One of the instructors was an Ottawa police sergeant. I got talking to him after classes. He arranged some ride-alongs for me, and I ended up applying to the Ottawa Police for a position as a constable. I called Dad, told him what I was doing, explaining that it wasn't so much that I was against going into the construction business as it was that I just needed to prove myself in another field, just like he did in the Army. He couldn't argue with that, so I went ahead. I did well in the tests, was offered a position and, immediately after graduating, I entered the Police Academy. One of my classmates, Jim Lee, and I became fast friends, even though we kept vying for top marks in the various tests. Eventually, he graduated top of the class and I was second. Jim, his wife Lori, Jenny and I became almost a unit."

"My joining the Ottawa Police had become a bone of contention between Jenny and me. I felt I had to prove myself; she wanted me to stick to the construction business that I knew so well. Hell, from when I could first swing a hammer, I was on a crew every time I was out of school. I thought for a while that, if anything were going to split Jenny and me up, that would be it. By this time we had moved in together. Our parents had only nominally objected, and were just pressing us to be sure we knew what we were doing."

"Jenny finally opened up and said that she was scared that something would happen to me while I was at work. I told her, "Jenny, this is something I have to do. Just like my Dad did his hitch in the Army to prove what he could achieve on his own, I have to prove to myself that I am Jake Rogers, not John Rogers Junior, who owes everything to his Dad."

"When I told her that, she softened up and told me, "If that is the case, and it won't be forever, then I'm pretty sure I can handle it. I'll try anything once to support you."

"Things went fine while I was at the Academy, but once I was out on the street she began to worry more, holding on to me before I left, lighting up when I got home."

"We got married, and it was the big obligatory Police wedding with me in dress uniform, Jim Lee the same as my best man. My platoon stood outside the church with the arch of batons for us to walk under. We tried to let Jenny know that she was joining a big family, that they were all there for her, but she still had a hard time. For the first couple of years, things were not too bad. Jenny had found a position as a teacher and had lots of work to keep her mind off other things. After a year, we decided to have a child. She discontinued the pills, and within two months Tommy was on the way. Jenny and I were really happy, and were looking forward to his arrival."

"After about 6 months, Jenny began to have back and leg problems, so the Doctor recommended that she stay home until the baby was born. Then she became really clingy and hated me going to work, and was overjoyed when I got home. She wanted us to get out of the city and come back to Clearville where her family was. We consulted Doctors about her feelings and couldn't get anywhere. They felt she would be alright after the baby was born and she had more to occupy her."

"Clearville then had its own police force. I knew the Chief well, so I wrote to him, asking if there were a position open. He wrote back, telling me that there was a position open as a Constable and, based on my marks at the Academy and the reports of several supervisors in Ottawa, (He had his contacts, too) he would be pleased to recommend me to the Police Board. The pay was a little lower, but he felt that, should I keep up my progress, I wouldn't be a Constable for long. So, that's how I came to be in Clearville."

"We moved here after Tommy was born. Mom and Dad were pleased, of course; another grandchild was here, and they could see him any day. They gave us a deal on this house, much more than I really could have afforded on a Constable's pay, and things were going really well. Jenny was really happy again, I was getting home on time and spending more time with her, and within a year I was promoted to Corporal. There was some grumbling from other officers, but the Chief was able to justify the promotion on my work record alone."

"Two years after Tommy was born, we decided on a brother or sister for him, and it wasn't long before Anne was one the way. This time the pregnancy was a lot easier on Jenny. She had no morning sickness, no back or leg problems, and, right on schedule, Anne came into the world. She was a great baby, no fussing, she slept well, and Jenny couldn't have been happier. At least, not until the kicker came into our lives."

"My police chief and the sergeant, who was his deputy as well as his best friend, both decided to retire. The Police Commission had to look at hiring two new officers and making somebody Chief. One of the members brought forward the possibility of contracting the policing of the town to the Provincial Police. As it was, we were paying them for specialist services like lab work and identification and for extra personnel for large events. Against a lot of opposition, this was how things were done. All of us were hired by the Ontario Provincial Police and, luckily, I retained my rank. Unluckily, our problems returned."

"Because of our shift system, I worked fewer days, but longer hours. I didn't work full nights, but if a major occurrence happened when I was on call, I would be called out, with no guarantee when I was going to be back. Because we were now responsible for the surrounding area, there were far more occurrences and I was away from home a lot more. Jenny's old fears returned in spades. She kept them hidden for about two years, but they became worse and worse until all she wanted was for me to get out of police work and into construction."

"Again, we tried the Doctors route, but they could only get so far and no further with her. She would get so far, and then she would block them out. Then one October night a little over two years ago, disaster struck! John Lee, our friend in Ottawa, was assisting with traffic control at an accident on the main highway when a car hurtling came out of the dark, the driver ignoring all the flashing lights, and hit John, throwing him about a hundred feet and killing him instantly. Of course, Jenny and I went to the funeral. I was only one of around 5000 officers from all over who attended, but Jenny and I were, as best friends, standing with Lori - and we couldn't help but hear their two children asking, "Mommy, where is Daddy?"

"We had been planning on going right home, but Jenny just instantly turned to me and, through her tears, said, "Jake, I'm not coming home. I'm going to stay at Mom's. Lori needs me to help her with the children. I can't be a police wife any longer. I can't face the prospect of someday having to tell my children that Daddy isn't coming home any more. I know that there is always risk, but I can't handle the increased risk that you and every officer face. I can't stand by and watch you put on a bulletproof vest, buckle on that gun, and walk out the door, not knowing if I will ever see you alive again!"

"I was stunned! I took Jenny and the children to her Mom's and tried to argue her out of it. She just wouldn't come back with me. Eventually, my mother in law convinced me to go home while she tried to talk to Jenny. I went home, and I talked to Jenny and the kids every day. Finally, Jenny told me she was coming home. She said, "I've been talking to Mom, and I finally admitted that this all comes from Dad being killed in Cyprus, that I was devastated when he was killed, but was convinced that I couldn't show it, that I couldn't cry, I had to be brave for Mom. Mom finally just sat me down and told me, "Jenny, even if your Dad had known that going on the UN Mission would get him killed, he would still have gone. He saw it as his job and his duty to his country and to the world. There are many men like that, men who don't ask 'Why me?' when something comes up, they just get on with it. Jake is one of them. He sees his job as a way of giving something back, as a duty to his country and to himself."

"Jake, I'm coming home, I'll do some Christmas shopping tomorrow while we're still here, and we'll be home in two days. I love you."

"Those were the last words I heard her say. She went shopping, and on her way home she was going through a green light when an impaired driver came through the red on her left and hit her. Even though she had her seat belt on, the snap to the side ruptured her aorta and she bled to death in a couple of minutes. Fortunately she had left the kids with her Mom, so they were fine. Ever since then I have felt responsible for her death. If I had just not been so obstinate, if I had only left the police and joined Dad, she would still be alive."

With that, Jake burst into tears. I couldn't help but slide over on the sofa to put my arms around him and hold him tight. I softly said, "Jake, it isn't your fault. Jenny had problems that she couldn't talk about for a long time, and even then it had to be her Mom that she talked to, someone who had gone through that same trauma with her. Had you quit the police, she may never have resolved the problem and, while it might not have been as bad, it would still have been there whenever she was without you. Unfortunately, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. That can happen to anyone, even you."

Jake looked at me, with the beginnings of a smile showing through his slowly drying tears. "There must be something about you that inspires confidence. This is the first time that I have told anyone the whole story, or, in particular, just how I feel. Actually, I feel like in some way a weight has been lifted off of me. Even though we have had a rotten day dealing with the worst, I am glad for this day. This is the day I got to meet you, Pat Williams, the best day for me since my mother in law called me to tell me about Jenny, and the world I knew came crashing around my ears!"

I hugged Jake again. The smile he had just given me had finally included his eyes. His lips brushed mine and, throwing caution to the winds, I kissed him. We kept it going, hotter and hotter, and I felt his hand start pressing on my breast. I wanted him to just take me upstairs and make mad passionate love to me, but, to my surprise, he drew back. He looked at me and smiled again. "There is nothing I would like more than to take you to bed, but I would forever wonder if it were a real feeling between us, or just the result of an incredibly emotional day. If there is going to be anything between us, and I really hope there will be, I would like it to be the result of getting to know you properly, not something done in the heat of the moment."

"Jake, I don't know whether to love you or hate you for doing this, but I certainly know that I respect your decision a lot. It takes a pretty good man to talk like that. Now, I had better go home, take a cold shower, and get ready for tomorrow. If I have any more wine or kisses, I'm likely to just stay right here, and I hate going to work in the same clothes two days running."

Jake thought a moment before replying. "If you get in to the office by about 11 tomorrow morning, that should give us lots of time, as there is just the one interview. Also, while I remember it, would you and Sean like to come to a barbecue at my Mom's place on Monday? It is a holiday, and Sean can meet a bunch of new kids. Tommy and Anne will be there, plus my sister's kids. He should have a fun day, and you will get to meet a few more people,"

I grinned, "Okay, that does sound like a lot of fun. I'll see you tomorrow morning." He walked me out to the car and, before I got in, he pulled me close and gave me a soft parting kiss. I drove home in a daze. I had never in my life met anyone who could turn the heat up like Jake. When I got to my Aunt's, I felt like waltzing up the driveway and into the house. When she saw me, Aunt Chris said, "Wow, who got you going? You look absolutely stunned!" to which I replied, "Oh, just the cop I was working with today."