All Comments on 'A Good Girl'

Didn't play out well. No way was she a virgin. Rough sex with a virgin and she isn't having trouble with it? Not claiming rape if he stole her virginity? Doesn't feel real.

Feels like he THOUGHT she was a virgin but she was actually a raging slut. THAT would have made this story much more immersive and enjoyable.

The overall length is good, and I really like your opening scene, so I defiantly think you have talent. Just need to make it slightly more immersive.

XJ347, you do realize that Ashson is one of the most popular authors on this site, with hundreds of stories posted? He definitely has talent, yes. This is classic Ashson: a virgin shows up on an older man's doorstep and gets a spanking leading to a deflowering. The formula doesn't work if she's not a virgin, but it's a short story from the male perspective so nothing in the text need change if you feel her response was indicative of a more experienced girl who's not letting on. That's the beauty of writing from a single perspective; the reader is invited to decide what's actually going on in the other character's mind.

What anonymous said. I really disliked the glib swarminess of Ashon ' s too clever by half narrators. Now I aspire to it in modified forms. Full marks. *****

I really wanted him to go down on her first. That would have been hot.

Girls Scout Cookies will never quite be the same again.

Your ability to enter into the feminine psyche is uncanny.

I love your stories and am trying to figure out how I can get one of those spankings!!

Enjoy your stories, wish they were a bit longer, A bit more in depth, and just a tad bit dirtier. Sex scenes could be a bit more in depth as well. You build characters well, themes are good and you don't use gratuitus violence like so many other authors. So many "writers" feel they have to call all females fuck toys or sluts and rip their anus by shoving in their cocks.

If they just realized the act itself can be humiliating, exciting, taboo etc., on its own merit.

Keep writing, hopefully longer than one page stories.

Good story.... characters and plot. Well written in my opinion

Hello from Greece! Nice story! erotic one! No condoms?

One of the best of yours I've read! (so far)

...titillation scale. I like this roués logic. If only young ladies were so easily led! We'd all be happy campers then, especially those deserving girl guides, whose sales would skyrocket!

Non sense at all.

please continue

I enjoyed the story, I feel like you need to do a bit more research on the woman’s psyche and how a women would react to the scenario LOL but I love the plot :)

That's a stupid plot. I liked some of your other stories. But this one really sucks.

Oh my. It's just a childish story. A weak plot. Makes no sense at all.

Kind of stupid, don't you think? Should be under fantasy instead? What a waste.

you ever write more than half a page?

Great story, for me the length is perfect, as well as the lack of realism. I like non con but if it was realistic rape then no thanks lol. This form is good