All Comments on 'A Hook-up Years in the Making Pt. 01'

You have set up your story pretty well and it flows smoothly. Your mechanics are good except for a few typos. Never trust the spell checker! I would like to see more of your work as you have the talent to become a fine writer of eroticism. On the net you will find a poem titled "Owed to the spell checker." Please read it and write some more for us! The more you write, the better you will become.

Too many errors in grammar and spelling detracted from this, still enjoyed it but cost you a star