All Comments on 'A Hot Date'

Enjoying the story so far, not really into the mom thing but other than that... :)

.....needless to say I gave it a five if for no other reason than this:

"I'm your brother, we can't."

"You can either keep whining about incest or you can shut up and fuck me. Your choice."

YES!! I am so fucking sick and tired of all the brothers being written in as whiny, whimpy, wishy-washy pussys by so many authors! I mean really, how many brothers would even open their fucking mouths if A hot-ass sister told him she wanted to fuck him NOW. Uh, none! The only things he would be thinking are;

1. Is she on the pill cause I do NOT want to get her pregnant, much less be stuck changing shitty diapers and raising some crying kid.

2. Does my sister fuck a lot of guys, if so maybe I should wrap it before I fuck her to make sure I dont catch something.

3. "Just to be sure sis, but this isnt gonna fuck up our normal relationship, right? ...and your not gonna go all weird on me and fall madly in love and turn into psycho sis when Im hanging with other girls, right?"

4. Am I ABSOLUTELY SURE nobody is going to catch us?

...and that took ten seconds, and is ALL any brother is thinking, except:

5. How soon before I can fuck her again.

And...

6. I wonder if she'll let me fuck her up the ass?

Rah! :). Go author!

If the parents and sister are as "open and understanding" as you're describing, the brother must have had some clue. Their blasé attitude about their son and daughter, or about "go ask your mom to get naked for you" indicates that SOMETHING is going on. If there is something else going on with the parents and their daughter (his sister) and he's utterly unaware of it--which seems to be the case here--he'd have to be either naive or slow. So, either the rest of his family needs to dial it back to be believable, or he should be more aware of what's going on around him. You see?

You need to continue the story. It was good but I would leave out the mom and dad thing. Just stay focus on the brother and sister. It always ruin a story when the parents are brought into the story when it's about a brother and sister. So keep the story going and just stay with it being the brother and sister having sex and not with the parents.You also need to make it longer then one page. It's a waste of time to just read one page.

This is so hot! Reading these brother/sister stories always make me wish that I had had a sister. Unfortunately that was not to be as Mother's pregnancy was a high risk as her female organs only developed in size of a girl of no older than 12 if that old.

A bit too quickly told, but a nice story. 'Needs more detail. The party, for example: how did Dan feel when other men cut in as he danced with Rachel? When they we re snogging in the car before going in, didn't his hand just naturally move to a breast, even if he got embarrassed after? Remember, in the hallway, her dress invited a hand inside for mom to notice when she came out. Just a few possibilities.

Had fun reading your story can't wait for the next chapter .

I agree with ChasB that more details and a slightly slower pace would have worked nicely. Characters are wonderful and very likeable and the situation you have placed them in has some interesting possibilities. Hope you allow us to savor them!

I agree with ChasB; seemed a bit quick and could have used a bit more detail. Regardless, your characters are likable and the dialog doesn't come off as stiff. As for the other comment about leaving out the parents, you've kept my interest to this point so I trust you to continue to share the story as you see it.

Thanks for sharing.

Perhaps he can fuck his sister and his mom.

Thanks for the read

Very hot and sexy story! Have Rachel tickle his balls while his mama assfucks him.

Your first six paragraphs are very weak. Some of that information doesn't really contribute to the story and introducing people in that fashion is just poor writing. You should get that info in along with other bits and pieces or just work it into the conversation. OTOH, from that point on it's pretty darn good. I really like the ending. It leaves the reader with all kinds of possible familial scenarios.

Perhaps Dad wants to f...k his ass while he's shagging his sister who is reaming out her mothers c...t Just a thought !

This was an excellent story! Perhaps next time he has a threesome with mom and sister and gets them both pregnant

The reason to write is to tell the story. It's lazy to leave the reader to do the work. Tell as much or little as you wish but tell it whole.

Great story...like the way you wrote this...hope there are more chapters!!!!

I liked it!

Hope to read more chapters to this story....

Can't wait to read more chapters to this story.

This is one hot story. It ended too soon. Next chapter please!

Nice story. Rachel and Dan are great together, would love to read another chapter as long as it's just them, do not bring in the parents it will ruin a hot brother sister story

Great story screams for another chapter

I feel like the guy hung by a posse. Just a swinging. Lets finish the story yourself or turn it over to someone who can

More with bro and sis, but keep Mom and Dad out of it.

I really enjoyed ur story... I hope it continues...please say it does not stop there.

Slut not love or help was slut need gud fuck

I’ve three hot sisters. I wish I went further than wrestling with them as a teen and young man. I’m 67 and still jack off on their current hot images. Would I fiuck them if

I had the chance, HELL YES !!!

Very good is there anymore to this story

This is a very good story, I would love to see a second date with his sister.

on here about a wimpy nerd guy being dominated by a bitchy woman.

Excellent story but to short, I want to hear about mom.

It was ok, but there a few things you might consider. The first is that i doubt anyone here cares about what your parents look like, unless their looks have something to do with the story. Secondly, the way you described your sister, you made her sound more like a street hooker than someone that is really sexy. Thirdly, you referred to your friends, not mates, so of the English speaking nations, that would put you in either the US or Canada. I have lived in both and nobody ever uses the word: whilst. It might be proper grammar but it is a word that hasn’t been used in my lifetime and I am 71. A good rule in writing is to make it as believable as you can, because the reader is going to take your place. If you live in Sweden, make people think it takes place there. When you do that, any difference in grammar will be overlooked.

A little too unbelievable. It was as if you were from some strange place where guys that don’t have the charisma to get a date turn out to be great lovers even though on earth, that is impossible. You live in a storybook world where there is no physical connection between family members and then it all just happens. I would suggest you make your next story more interesting. By that, develop the characters and the story. You should have completely left mom out. I took a creative writing class in college and was taught that all good fiction has to be at least partially based in facts. Unfortunately, you took what might have become an interesting story and made it too ridiculous to be interesting. Try reading the next one out loud. If it sounds crazy to you, it will sound worse to others.

would have liked a second part but haing been writted in 2014, it looks like no more to this story

I like the story but it could have been longer. Even a second chapter. AAAA++++