All Comments on 'A Journey To Remember Ch. 04'

I've enjoyed this story alot. That said, there are alot of errors in it and it takes away from the story. I found it difficult to read at times b/c of them. I'd recommend you get someone to read over it. An editor would be good. I think the story itself was nice. I am not sure if this was the last chapter or not. I'd be happy to see more of their story.

que capitulo tan hermoso, creo que se deberia hacer dos o tres capitulos mas, despues del casamiento a ver si queda embarazada y el fetiche que el tiene con eso, espero muy pronto actualizacion del mismo, con mucha ansiedad; am_sr

the grammatical errors and poor sentence construction take away the appeal of the storyline. good plot, but it's a little hard to read because of the errors. you need an editor. really.

I enjoyed the overall story. It was good, not great. It would be much better if you edited it. For instance, the last quote should read, "I need more convincing," not "conviction." Keep writing-I personally like the reluctance and romance combination. Learn how to edit or ask someone to help you, and I'm confident you're stories will improve greatly.

I hope you will continue the story. Is Jenny pregnant? How will that affect the way they are with each other? Please continue and let me find out.

story progression was way too fast.

she goes from losing her virginity in ch3 to getting married to the guy in ch4?

no development, no sense of accomplishment through the passage of time.

should be at least 1 chapter between 3 and 4 detailing her transition from his prisoner to his lover...

It did move really fast but good writing anyways. If you didn't rush it would have made it feel real. Like her feelings were justified. Love it though.

-Jaz

I understand this was just a fantasy story, but firstly no guy has that kind of nonstop stamina, probably not even an 18 year old. Secondly, even if he did she would get sore from all that nonstop sex. Third, no woman would fall for a guy who kidnaps her, rapes her of her virginity and keeps her a naked prisoner on an island as his sex toy.