by Cathleen
Way to go,Cate!! Excellent job. :)
Can we look forward to part 2 of this story?
I felt like I was right there experiencing the kiss myself. Can't wait to see more from you
For your very first attempt at writing I think you did a excellent job. Please continue writing. I am looking forward to reading more of your work. Thank you!
Your first story? Wow. Sure hope it's not your last....
Several words come to mind: Sweet. Tender. TENSION. Ah, the TENSION here is palpable. Eroticism is much more than body parts and unusual positions. It's about connections, about feelings, about emotions. And you have woven all those things together beautifully.
Kudos!!
how amazing this story was!!
Cate I didn't want it to end! You are so talented, both in pulling someone into the story and allowing them to feel as though they were part of the story. I truly hope you continue writing!
It is great for a first time story.
Keep it up and you too shall be a hot little author.
Cate-
Awesome job, I hope you keep writing more. I really enjoyed this one.
It is amazing how much passion can be conveyed with just one kiss and you captured it perfectly in your story. I think it would be wonderful if you continue this story between these soon to be lovers.
Sweety ,I knew this would be a wonderful story and you express the kiss so sweetly also..I loved it!! you need to write more!! plz??
Cate, such a beautiful kiss was the perfect way for you to start writing for Lit. My hat's off to you for the courage to do this and for the grace with which you wrote. Congratulations on a great kissing story. mwy
I think that the story was very good, especially for a first attempt. Hope to read more and hopefully capture the love growing between these two new lovers. Great job. Keep it up.
Toni
Shy one, it was absolutely awesome. You've nailed the kiss and you deserve one. Please, let's have more.
What else can be said Cate? A very supurb job!! Keep up the great work!
But NEEDS to be written in third person or a better first person. The word "you" over and over again just got old FAST.