All Comments on 'A Little Attention Goes a Long Way'

by Darth_bob

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  • 30 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

Cheating SLUT garbage!

tazz317tazz317over 9 years ago
TOO MUCH ATTENTION

invokes trails of deception. TK U MLJ LV NV

impo_60impo_60over 9 years ago
Not a LW story...

This isn't a LW story...They weren't married, so he can dump the cheating and lying bitch before he makes the big mistake to marry a whore...Of course this was writen by the lover because he was the only one to be perfect in the story....so, less than 1 *

Darth_bobDarth_bobover 9 years agoAuthor

I couldn't find a cheating gf section, also this wasn't written from anyone's point of view in the story they are all made up people. Sorry to hear you didn't enjoy it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Dump her worthless ass

if she can cheat that easy definitely not loyal and never will be faithful....hope she got knocked up and the guy she is dating runnnnnnnnsssss away.

tabbymidnitetabbymidniteover 9 years ago
Good job

You can take this a farther to a part 2. Yes she cheated but the guy also showed that she has qualities in herself that she can improve on. Do a next day piece or that night and she can tell him that she had sex upstairs let me show you a new trick. Something like that. Just because your BBW doesn't mean you hate all things about your body. Accept it or change it. Own it. That goes for a man or woman. If these two are in love as you write them then they need to explore more and think positive.

impo_60impo_60over 9 years ago
@Darth_bob...

Why I said it was written by the point of view of the lover, is that he is the only one in this story to be praised..."he was 6ft4 with dark hair and eyes a very handsome guy with a killer smile that makes you want to buy what ever he is selling, he had a good body toned trimmed body hair and was packing 8 inches and he was circumcised, wearing his best suit and tie, with a Rolex watch, he walked over to where Lauren was sitting"...All this was very clear who the hero was...But a man that just wants to get another man woman, is a selfish bastard that deserves all bad luck in the world, not to be praised. That was my point of view in my other comment...

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

"There is no peace, only passion..."

This doesn't seem like something a Sith would write!?!?

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Oh look the Trolls are out again

Comments like, less than 1 star, and the prick who thinks its real (dump her), only accept constructive criticism delete the rest of it, story not bad so ignore them.

magmamanmagmamanover 9 years ago
Not a bad...

...first attempt at all. Plus an interesting concept, in that it demonstrates how some women can be seduced and far more easily than one might suspect.

Of course guilt follows, then often secrets.

No wife here, so I might suggest you be cautious of the catagory. This would probably do better in couplings.

I liked it,

Thanks,

MGM

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
re: anonymoous-look the trolls are out again

You just described yourself as the real troll on this site. Think about it, that is, if your capable of that feat.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
re: Oh look the Trolls are out again

"...only accept constructive criticism delete the rest of it."

<P>

Well, your own advice would put you at the top of the list of comments to be deleted. How is saying very little about the story, primarily bashing others for daring to have different opinion, constructive criticism? Of course, it an assumption, really, that it's a different opinion since, as I noted, you said very little about the story.

<P>

Face it, under any realistic definition, YOU'RE the troll.

bystander13bystander13over 9 years ago
Sad but true for some

The boyfriend tried to respect and trust her and she showed him her respect for him and their relationship. Hopefully he finds out and moves on with someone truly worthy of his love and respect. Low self-esteem or only truly hearing the words that you are beautiful or sexy and having the feeling that you are appreciated when it comes from someone other than your partner is never a good reason for being unfaithful and lying - even if it is a common thread in many stories and relationships. Character is defined as what you do when no one else is looking - she failed miserably. He deserves better.

Darth_bobDarth_bobover 9 years agoAuthor
think some missed the point?

for those who are saying what a slut she is and the guy should dump her, theses characters are not real, i was trying to go for the whole cocky guy we all know uses some kind words to seduce the shy girl who thinks shes ugly thing, if you read it again i think you will see she regrets it even when doing it but it feels good she cant stop but wants to.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
She is what she thinks she is:

ugly, fat and dumb. She is the right companion for her bf.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
she just cheated and lied to the one idiot who actually loves her.

Not a very likeable woman, sad little story, not erotic.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Very unlikable

A mean story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Good Story!

This was a erotic story of an awkward young woman discovering her sexuality. Cubby, unsure, needy chicks like this are just begging for attention and she got plenty of it! Probably her first time to orgasm only through penetration.

A sequel would be good to see where this goes...my guess is that she matures into a true hotwife someday! Yes, she was a cheater, yes she lied; but hey, all is possible in these fantasy pieces.

At least she got a good fucking! Once a woman finds out what real sex is like, anything is possible.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Liked the story.

Your story had a lot of potential, however, it was hard for me to enjoy because all the grammatical errors were off putting. Please get an editor and try again.

anon.1

starmanfivestarmanfiveover 9 years ago
Good first attempt!

The story felt pretty original and it was erotic. Great fiction. The way Lauren acted would ring true, if she didn't have a bf. The fact is that single gullible people can be seduced with a bunch of lies and flattery. But for people that are taken it is a stretch that she would cheat so easily. It makes you wonder how much experience she has with men. An insecure person is ripe for seduction, but if she has a bf you would think that she would try to hold on to him at all cost! However, people do cheat, so maybe this is how it happens. If she were married, I would call her all kinds of slut and trash, Chris was a snake and Robbie is lucky that they weren't married. He would (if this story were real) keep a suspicious eye out and probably see that all is not right with Lauren and dump her. Interesting story.

bystander13bystander13over 9 years ago
Missing the point?

@Darth_bob, I have to agree with starmanfive and stand by my earlier comments. Good first effort and interesting premise. With respect to &quot;if you read it again i think you will see she regrets it even when doing it but it feels good she cant stop but wants to.&quot; I have no doubt many people are like that and know it's just a story but we can still feel sorry for Robbie and believe he deserves better than Lauren. Two years is a long time to invest in someone only to have them figuratively put a knife in your back when someone hot and smooth talking comes along. BBW insecure or not, not exactly relationship worthy. Thanks for providing a story people thought strongly enough about to have the passion to respond - generally means they liked a character (the boyfriend) and you hit a nerve. Kudos.

rightbankrightbankover 9 years ago
ok D_B I read it again

wish I hadn't.

You say she regrets it. Where does your story indicate that? She cheated. Your super stud was a predator. I relationship is destroyed. oh, happy day.

btw, did you even read your Tags? Were they meant for this story?

Darth_bobDarth_bobover 9 years agoAuthor
Surprised

I am suprised my first attempt at a story has generated such response from people, both good and bad, sorry for my poor grammar, never been good at it. I'm starting to see that those who have such a passion and hatered for Lauren in this means they feel it's all too real, glad it had such an impact, I enjoy cheating stories that's why I wrote it, and for the few who want the story to carry on I'm think what way to take it, full of regret, or new realms of pleasure I will decide soon. And next time I wil try to make it better.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Stupid self-deprecating woman seduced by handsome snake, how original.

The writing is OK, but your characters are caricatures of all the usual suspects in these shallow boring tales. Girlfriend stupid, low self esteem, gullible. Boyfriend stupid, timid, pushover. Snake is large, handsome, forceful, smooth talker, well financed, and most importantly well endowed. In the next chapter she will convince him that it is his child, they marry, she hooks up with snake again, and his several friends, husband struggles to make marriage work, gets another job at night, during which snake is filming gang bangs and selling her ass and pussy for lunch money. Pulease, read more, write less. There's lots of really interesting engaging stories here. OK, most are like yours. But if you really really hunt you will find some good examples to follow. Ya gotta start somewhere.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
well done

I enjoyed the sex scene and the build-up. Though, I would admit an editor would help greatly.

I am sending feedback because the boy friend was not fulfilling her needs and after two years of dating he was still dealing with his own ignorance (or arrogance?). There is no way a secure relationship would allow the woman to be lured in a hotel room with the boy friend's permission. She needed more. The relationship ended the moment the boy friend allowed her to go upstairs and she wanted it also.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Love it

I love to let strangers cum in my pussy.

DrSemblanceDrSemblanceover 7 years ago

I commend you for giving it a shot.

I certainly have not wrote anything.

If it was your desire to portray a complete selfish, contemptible, cheating cunt that shits on the one person that loves her for who she is, you succeeded.

But, was this really all you wanted to write? Did real life get in the way

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Good story

Well done I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. More please

26thNC26thNCabout 3 years ago
Cheating

Another cheating whore story with nothing at all to say.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

crap story of a slut men laugh about.... and simp that will do anything to get laid that men look down on.

Anonymous
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