All Comments on 'A Little Pick Me Up'

What a way to brighten up a bad day. A nice, short story. I like it.

no one with any brains braks a paragraph in the middle of a sentence go back to school and learn then do a rewrite and use a good editor

Boy, is THIS a case of "physician, heal thyself."

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A break, such as you mentioned, is a typo. You, on the other hand, couldn't seem to pass 3rd grade English class: no punctuation or capitalization, run-on sentences, you can't spell breaks (or brakes, for that matter).

I just took the story as it was written, and in the intent the author had when writing it.

It may not be perfect English, but it was erotic, which what it was intended to be.

I thought it read well and was hot. thanks.

This story is hot, and the description of the sex is arousing, but you let it down by not giving any build-up to the action. It's hard to believe a girl would just walk in and suck/fuck her brother, with no lead-up, no past sexual tension, ambiguous flirting, or anything that lends some perspective to what ensues. This is meant to be constructive criticism, so please take it that way. Other than that, it's a pretty fuckin' hot little tale, and I plan to look at your portfolio to see what else you've got on offer. Keep up the good work.

My sister is also my angel. she sucks my penis and make me happy.

"worst of all my blonde bombshell of a girlfriend -- whom I'd been trying to bed for a year now" i know this is just a story but this happens in real life.. i hope boys like this gets their penis cutoff.. stop thinking with your penis dickheads!!!

Needs a rewrite. Not hot enough, too tame.