All Comments on 'A Long Hard Day'

after a wonderful setup, the sex was too sketchy and rushed.

Thanks for the feedback. I've never really written before so pacing and such are still difficult, hopefully as I write more I'll learn to improve

PROOF READ!!

Example, second sentence - " It bad been an arduous day at work, ....."

'It bad'?

'It had'?

I did proof read, I must've just missed it. I also sent it to about 10 people who also apparently missed it. If a single spelling mistake is your biggest issue with my work, I'll take that as a positive

I love it when the mom is 'helping' the dad/daughter ... it's so f'in hot!

Likewise, this was just me writing down my fantasy

Please Don't Write More

Why not?

Great read! Disregard negative comments from people who don't even write stories!

It was good, but the Hyman bit is all wrong. Understand the anatomy. Better story without that bit.

I think I'll take my biology lessons from someone who knows how to spell hymen thanks

I really liked the majority of the story. The setup with her in the hall on her knees in a short skirt and white stockings was priceless! It pulled a bunch of my mental triggers all at once, hehehe! Hell, my mouth was watering!

Not knowing where the hymen is, that you can't get your dick anywhere into the tight, yummy bit till you tear through it, was a big turnoff though... :(

The ending, starting with the sex, felt a bit rushed and a lot more description in the sex scene would have been great. I think the end would have flowed better if it had read that he looked forward to teaching her instead of training her.

There were a few word/spelling or whatever errors, but not really worth getting wound up over unless there are just a lot of them.

Anyway I'll look forward to reading more of your stuff in the future, wether it's another chapter on this one or something different. Thanks for sharing!!

I think I might have stayed there once. Great buffet!

I especially loved it when, “SURPRISE”, her mother told him that she had been preparing her daughter for this introduction to her father’s taking her virginity. Not only that, but the three of them would have a threesome regularly. Pregnancy?

I hope i can fuck my wife with my daughters in the same bed

I'd rather fuck your daughter with the wife in the bed

Please look up the anatomy of a vagina prior to writing your next story.