All Comments on 'A Match for the el Maiens Ch. 02'

You write EXTREMELY well, and your story is off to a great start. However, I am already encountering some difficulty with the names. I fear this will only increase as the story progresses and more characters are inevitably added. The names are complicated, and the same person may be referred to in a variety of ways. It would help to simplify it a bit, or else provide a character scorecard, so we can keep track of who is who. Otherwise, very good job - you handle description, dialogue, action and character delineation with great skill. Kudos!

The ornate language is somewhat challenging for someone only familiar with contemporary English. But not only that, sometimes it seems the complex sentences has even lost the thought of the writer.