All Comments on 'A Midnight Surprise'

Room for improvement, but don't give up hope yet. I like so many anonymous commentators have not yet worked up the courage to do what you have done, and that is submit a story to the Lit website.

Not withstanding that, there are many commentators, who hide behind the anonymity of not putting a name to their comments, and just want to slag off at anything that they don't like in a destructive manner, which might give them some jollies but does nothing to acknowledge the effort or pose some constructive comments.

My suggestion is that you go on the website and read some of the other stories to get an idea of style and buildup and have a look at the resources that are available in the form of editors and proof readers.

Don't allow yourself to be put off by the vitriolic haters, they will never be satisfied no matter how good you are, keep trying. Remember, Edison didn't get the light right globe on his first attempt, imagine where we would be if he had listened to the first round of criticism about his efforts.

Good luck.

A not so hateful anonymous reader

For a short story of incest, I really enjoyed this compared to most. I will acknowledge it could use someone to edit but I could visualize this and enjoy the full event. Ignore the negative commentators and keep it up. I loved it.

I teased and got my brother to fuck and cum inside me a few years back... my husband was happy when I told him I was finally pregnant... little did he know ;)

I LOVED YOUR STORY.....I MADE MY LITTLE BRO FUCK ME AT NIGHT WHEN PARENTS WERE SLEEPING,HE GOT 7INCH DICK....HE WAS SO HORNY HE FUCKED ME TILL 5AM....AFTER PARENTS LEFT FOR WORK....HE CONTINUED FUCKING ME,USING WHIPPED CREAM,CHILLI SAUSE,HONEY....HE FUCKED WITH ALL OF THAT IT WAS AMAZING.....I LOVED HONEY IN MY PUSSY WITH HIS HARD DICK......GOSH ITS GREAT AND HIS CUM HMMMM YUMMY....HE CUMMED ON MY NIPPLES AND SUCKED THEM TASTED HIS OWN CUM AND KISSED ME....USED ALL THESE ON MY NIPPLES AND SUCKED AND FUCKED ME LIKE CRAZZZZZZZYYYYYYYY........MAKE LOVE WITH YOUR LIL BROTHER...NEXT MONTH M MOVING TO NEXT CITY.....AND ILL MAKE SURE HE WILL MAKE ME PREGNANT.......

Great story please keep writing

Last year I got my sister to fuck me man I'll tell you what I got her so horny we up till like 6 am going to town on it

I wish I had a sister so I could shoot my cum inside her..... unfortunately she didn't survive birth I have a twin brother but I'm so not gonna fuck him!

Write about the hole summer what happened?

Just like this guy! He also used to leave me little surprises as well. Until last summer when I just had enough. The last time he left me his deposit, I went and found him. He was still hard. So I made him pull his pants down and wank in front of me. He was crying, but he did it. I think that proved to me that he loved me. He remained hard, even after he spilled his seed onto the floor in front of him.

I was so impressed, I told him to put it in me. I stripped, showing him first had how my glorious DD cupped funbags jiggled in delight. I removed my tiny panties, and bent over to show him my gorgeous shaved plump pussy. He reluctantly (he was only acting as if he didn't want it) put his hands on my tiny waist, slapped my big butt, and ploughed into my tight little cavity.

Within moments, his baby batter was splashing around my cervix, trying to find an unfertilised egg. We haven't stopped fucking since then. We eat together, sleep together and spend every waking moment together now. He fucks me so good. Mum was upset for a little while, but we don't care. She can join us if she wants...

Lame……...

I don't know about you, but if a girl is riding me, there isn't a whole lot of "balls slapped against her ass" going on.

I'm impressed with the grammar and such. But the dialogue needs some real help. As unrealistic as many of these stories are, yours was in need of some more thought. Almost as bad as porno dialogue.

This was way to fast paced learn to go slower (heh heh)

Anyway all in all I cummed to this and I have no regrets ;D

I really enjoyed reading this. Please continue with this.