All Comments on 'A Mistake'

Couldn't get past it the second or third time I saw 'tom' instead of the full word. I mean really! Fucked the story because it ruined the continuity... too much time going back to re-read the entire paragraph, just to try to figure out what you're trying to say. Shame that.

1* only. Sorry.

admitedly its a little rough around the edges but hey we are all animateurs. its a brilliant start as for the tom - tomorrow bit some people just say tom as slang for it so i get why ya used it. any way keep up the writing waiting to read more from ya

I'm sorry, but you couldn't take the time to type tomorrow? or department? I gave up reading this story with the same sex erotica, I'm not into that and it would have been nice to have a warning at the start that this story contained it.

Didn't care for this. I didn't mind the lesbian sex, but the transitions between scenes were rough. I was with Lizzie and then suddenly, out of nowhere, I'm in Brazil with Tanya. And the paragraphs with LJ and the other women were way too long. The premise is fine, but an editor or beta reader would be a help.

Need to separate the different scenes more because it was a bit confusing.

Just *** And a new paragraph would work.

But it wasn't bad and I will see what happens next.