All Comments on 'A Need for Money Pt. 01'

Good story overall, but you definitely need to look over your work before you submit it. I caught a lot of spelling errors. One thing that I had noticed that really didn't make sense was that he left at the end. If it's his hotel room, why would he leave? Could have used some more details as well. Edit edit edit!

Boring. Sorry.

I gave up. It was just irritating to read. Lacking anything original or clever, with flat dialogue there was nothing here to draw any interest.

More realistic that most. Sandpaper......not excited about sex.

More details could have ma see this a great story. As mentioned a bit more attention to the proofreading would help also.