All Comments on 'A New Beginning Ch. 04'

Another great chapter (that I, greedy reader, wish was longer). Five stars.

You have the makings of something really good here. I know good writing is an effort and this may only be a passing hobby. However, if you and your co-writers wanted to dedicate more time to this story, I believe that you have the beginnings of a story that could generate a dedicated fanbase with the rewards that come with that.

Your ship battle had a real Battlestar Galactica feel to it. I don't know if anyone used the acclaimed episode '33' as inspiration. Thanks to those visuals and your story writing, I could really picture what the crew were enduring. I particularly love really competent good guys going up against competent bad guys. It would be cool if Jess, of all people, had an idea for a ship upgrade.

If you ever need a muse for your inspiration, I recommend 'Friday' by Robert Heinlein. Jessica reminds me of Friday Jones who is also an artificial person. (Of course, you may be way ahead of me on this given the similarities.)

Keep it up and know that you have at least one reader eagerly awaiting your next chapter. I don't have the patience to be a copy editor, but if you ever need a story editor, just let me know.

Cheers, Bill.

Great chapter, with a finely done balance of the sex/romance development of Jess, and the simultaneous building of the surrounding war/space battle aspect. And now the surprising introduction of a new set of principal characters sets the stage for more action!

I too see the influence of the TV show Battlestar Galactica, and in fact I picture No 6 when I visualize Jess. Tall and lean, Tricia Helfer was in a couple scenes as a kick-ass fighter in fatigues!

Keep it coming, I hunger for more.

Whoa, so the real mystery is revealed. So many questions, so little info. Yet we patiently await more. Five stars once again! Fine writing, thank you for it. Semper Fi.

Good job. Nice bit of writing about the new teams being created by hard training.

Two pages is a good blueprint till you add more complexity and new story arcs.

Nice chapter.

Clever plot twist and big reveal, tying all these threads together. Brilliant!

I'm not a sci-fi reader but this, this I'm enjoying immensely.

I'm just finishing up chapter 4 but don't know how many installments there are, so I figure I'll comment now ahead of any disappointment from an unexpected abrupt ending lol. In short, good story. Really enjoying this, my first sci-fi story on literotica!

Keeping me up well past bedtime and even sunrise, yet I’m still unable to stop as I rate 5*s before I sleep.

Well, maybe “just one more chapter” 😈

You’ve got what it takes as a writer, best wishes that others see it as well and hopefully will be seeing your name amongst the bookshelves in the future