All Comments on 'A New Beginning Ch. 05'

You have a great story here ,good luck to win the contest and best story award

Congrats on another great chapter. Both your hero's journey and larger conflict are engaging stories.

Fans usually want more and I am no exception. Interestingly, it's not furtherance of the story that I crave the most, but rather more detail. The four-ship battle felt over way too fast, and Jess had very little reaction to any of it.

I believe you and your team could turn this into something more if you were so inclined and you could develop a following that could help pay your way to doing so. Sometimes people would love to be able to make a living (or partial living) from their hobby. Other times a hobby elevated to a job is just becomes a different form of work. It all depends on what you want. I know you are not sure where this is going or how long you want to stick with it, but if you would like the story to continue, I truly believe you will continue building a fan base for it.

If you wanted more, I would be happy to chat about how you make that happen. That's not a sales pitch -- just a friendly offer from a fan.

I have played with the idea of making this bigger and more indepth, but honestly, i don't have the time. I would love to try, yet i'm not sure i really have that level of talent. please do shout out if you think I should, I'm open and willing to take Help.

Thank you so much. that last comment made me feel elated.

I have enjoyed reading this series, the story is good, characters are interesting, I like that you write about concepts and future technology, FLT transport, weapons technology without having to get too technical and explain how it works, written well enough the reader just accepts it works. . Do you write the story as you go, or have you been planning and establishing the story & plot and how its going to progress thru the following chapters.

Well, to be honest it started out as an experiment, then it go to be a bit more and i was stuck with some canon i didn't really want.

saying that, I do have an ending and plot line now and am working towards it, though I have already been told some of my ideas wont wrk...lol.

Keep doing what your doing. Just amazing.

I really like both Hank Choi and Jess and I like them together. I like Connor, but I really don't want him messing with Jess. I am not pleased with the turmoil being artificially created in Jess because of the neural link. Find somebody else for Connor.

I really like the story, but some of the descriptions of physical reactions in space can be a bit distracting. "The 'Jean-Paul' rocked, buffeted by the massive detonation as the large Cruiser erupted into a fiery ball of light." There is effectively no air/atmosphere in space, therefore no sound or pressure waves. The Jean-Paul could have been rocked by debris, but I would not call that being buffeted.

I really should not use 'really' so much!

Would love to see this turned into a trilogy at lest. As it has lots of fluf in it already to go a long way, and about the only bit missing is why the bad guys are rebelling.

As mentioned by anonymous there is no air in space. The air is what carries compression waves. Compression waves are sound, amplify that sound and have it start instantly with no buildup and you have the explosive force of a detonation.

At least their not using nukes in space. 90% of the force of a nuke is due to atmosphere. The shock wave, the blast wave and the fire wave are ALL due to air. In space you get a massive radiation burst and a few bits of non armoured bomb casing flying out. The radiation burst reduces quickly due to a full sphere of expansion, the intensity reducing by 75% each time the sphere size doubles.

Anyway good job.

Please finish it or I’ll have to go and write bad reviews and give all chapters one star. Finish it and they will get five stars.

Anonymous comments should be banned

Incomplete stories should be deleted

Peeps hate grammar checks, but if you are going to write, get it right......

Sorry, lost my copy, and can’t remember exactly,,,, but. Never use the adjective form of a word to describe the noun form of the same word. I mean it’s obviously obvious. You made that error, but I can’t remember the word. Otherwise, a nice tale

I'm desperately hoping you've finished this series. Can't believe I'm reading it for the story independent of the erotica. Well done!