All Comments on 'A New Direction for Humanity Ch. 01'

Interesting premise . Definitely a different take with the whole transgender thing popping up at the end. Looking forward to more.

Thank you Certeis . I very much enjoyed reading chapter 01 . A very original take on

the way interplanetary relations might transpire . I will be looking forward to future installments with great anticipation .

I really like the general premise of the story. It has a lot of different directions it could go. I prefer my porn with a side of action and adventure, so I'm secretly hoping you take it in that direction though, of course, it's your story!

I really like the whole "technology controlled by eye movements" premise. It's little details like that which really bring a sci-fi story to life and make the world truly believable. Honestly, that little detail made the story for me, as weird as that sounds. :)

I also really liked the way you potrayed your trans character without resorting to pure objectification. Far too often on Lit, trans characters are treated as props for fetitisaztion rather than individuals in their own right, and Shae has a really solid personality that I feel like I can relate to, which was great.

Also the line, "Please don't let the aliens be transphobes..." That made me laugh out loud, lol.

Anyway, hope you post more soon. I generally only post constructive criticism when authors explicity request in in anuthor's note, so I'll hold back for now, but if your interested, I do have a few minor-ish critiques.

Have a good one!

@Gremlin078 - Thanks! Initially I sort of wanted to write the first chapter with Shae being a transwoman being a surprise at the end, but, sort of a low-key surprise, like both she and the audience expect it to be a big deal, but then it's not, subverting both of their expectations. Ultimately, I decided that since this is Porn that very hetero normative readers might feel tricked or be upset with me, so that's where the disclaimer came from.

@Anonymous The inspiration for this story sort of came from watching other sci-fi stories and media about aliens invading and there's a resistence force, fighting nobly for freedom and blah blah blah. I thought I'd show the story from the other side, with an alien species not really much different from us, neither good nor bad, and how some people would have perfectly legitimate reasons to work with them, rather than against them. Big colonialism themes in here, inescapably so, but it's not necessarily meant to be allegorical.

@KyraSaden - Fire away! Leave the criticism here, send em through the literotica submission form, or just email me at CerteisKitty@gmail.com. There's actually 4 chapters of this written and just going through approval process to be posted on Lit. Wouldn't be surprised if chapter 2 is up by the time you read this ;D. The Rei-sa iris controls were a cool idea, right? Not terribly original though, the technology already exists for humans, it's just in early stages. Being trans myself, portraying Shae as being trans without objectifying her was not only pretty easy, but came pretty naturally to me. I personally don't see myself as a thing to be objectified or fetishized, so why would I write Shae that way? She's just a normal person with a weird hobby and a weird job, who happens who be trans. I'd personally love to see more writers do that, but, it's gonna take time.

This story is already so much more popular here than it was anywhere else I posted it, so thank you so much, everybody <3 <3 <3

-Ceri

Thanks for your reply!

And since you're open to constructive criticism, I figured, "What the hey?"

I really only have two complaints. The first is that you semi-frequently use commas as periods and vice versa, which can work in small doses, but gets confusing when it's done too frequently. I also think your settings could be expounded upon a little. There's so much detail when it comes to explaining the Rei-sa culture and language, but the environment they exist in feels a little empty and it's hard to picture it. A lot of your descriptions come off as litany, which makes it hard to get a real feel for the ship and what makes a Rei-sa's world different from our own.

But, overall, it was a good read and I'm definitely not trying to rip on you or anything. As a writer myself, my favorite feedback is always the constructive kind, so I try to include that feedback for other authors when they show an interest. :)

@KyraSaden - Mrrrr. I'll keep an eye on the comma and period thing. Part of that is just that these stories only get like one or two editing passes, one of my goals when I write these is not to hold onto them and obsess over making them perfect and just to throw them out there. But still, punctuation should be easy ^_^;;

I do know that I'm bad at explaining environmental details, and while I personally dislike it when authors go into way too much explanation and exposition over that stuff, I'm aware that I don't do it nearly enough. I tried to do that a lot more in Warlord's Kitten, actually. These first two chapters of New Direction were actually written when I was more getting back into the swing of writing, so they're actually a tad dated, as well.

Thanks for the feedback! Most of the reason I write porn at all is to practice, so I definitely appreciate it :3

I created an account just so I could favourite this story! Thanks for writing it :)

I love this and I am going to immediately read the rest of the chapters!

Looking forward to catch up on the others!