by darkcreations
Very good start. Would really like him to brand her Kelsey and then whore her out for money. Keep it up :)
Read the second part first and just caught up since I enjoyed it so much! You write excellently, and it feels very realistic for a dystopia. Enjoying it a lot, the small touch with the pistol, cigarettes and suicide note was nice. And the lack of bullets brought it back into reality after luck had been on his side perhaps more than realistic. Looking forward to future instalments!
Thanks for the feedback. The fact that it was positive is encouraging as hell, but I'm just glad for anything coherent that helps me recognize my strengths and improve my weaknesses. It's my first go at a coherent erotic story, so I imagine it won't be as polished as what I aim to write, but I'm glad there are enough people who enjoy it to keep me motivated to continue.