All Comments on 'A Night Out'

This would read much better written in the first person...I think one of the gals would be good. Doing this, you would save using the names over and over and over.

Good try.

Thanks for the feedback. I'm writing the bigger story in first person, and you're right. It does flow better that way.

I see nothing lacking here. The story built to a climax quickly, an there were no grammatical errors. keep up the good work.