All Comments on 'A Night with Chey'

This reads like the Readers Digest version

Good start, but add some details. Describe how her body looked, the color of her hair, what type body she had, what kind of body did he have...etc.

You might be onto something here but do not publish until you are much farther along. Very frustrating having a story stop right as the good part begins.

The story seems rushed. It needs character development and details.

Just don't publish ever

Your story was to short. You started with some back ground but went strait to Sex. She is from his past and he has not seen her since he was 7. Why not? What was she doing there? Descibe her. Desribe him. I would re write the story. Get an editor.

I hate stories that just stop with no ending.

??!

Sorry didn't like your story much. There was no start just straight into the action and then no end to the story !