All Comments on 'A Perfect Nude Family - Jake + Jean'

Kind of simplistic don't you thimk

...stick my toung out at you.

Poor Grammar and spelling can really ruin a story. havn't, haven pussy, toung, Deepthroughted, stoped. She the., are a few examples.

what a waste pf my time and anyone else who stupidly reads it

This us laughable.. your mom rode you like a madman? LOL Try again once you reach adulthood.

You could definitely use the help of an editor... I like the story line that you have set up, but, like the other more crude comments, you need some help... I don't know for sure, but I would say that english is not your first language... Keep on trying and enlist the aide of an editor... Would make your story so much better...

YOU WOULD HAVE TO CONTINUE THIS FOREVER IT READS TRUE

love,love, love this little family sex tale,,,very erotic!!! more like this, please!!!!

Do a Jen and Jeff (father daughter) story

Lets hear about your sister and her Dad. How about your Mom and sister or you and your Dad. How about all four of you with all four of you.

Hey, why did you stop?? You are a good writer or porn. I enjoy it. Please, write some more.

Loved it. Yes, what about dad and daughter (in the friendly and respectful vein of the other writing).

Mother and sister would be good.

Not comfortable with boy and dad, however.

Love the nude family theme.

Love the idea of a new family but your writing style is too straightforward. Throw some curveballs in there, make it harder for the son to get with the mom. The storyline is too flat for and does not hook the reader.

.........In both chapters, the nitty gritty all ends too quickly.

Nice build up, good scene setting, you introduced the characters well, but then it was all over in just a few short paragraphs.

If anything, before you write any more, go over both chapters and expand on the sex scenes in both of them. If you did that, I'm sure they would improve things a lot.

If you are not sure, find yourself an experiencec editor on here and get some advice from them.

I'm not trying to put you down, not least as I can't write a story to save my life, but you are at least giving it a try and you have the right idea, you just a little help to get you on the correct path.

Good luck !

Disappointing end of the series.

Well, at the end of the first part I thought it's a crime not to write more parts espacially the mom-son part was missing.

Now this part looks like it was forced out of you. Short, flat and sloppy spelling. While in the first part Jeff appears rather silent and passive in the second part there some statements from Jean missing why she now changed her mind.

Too bad you didn't show any greater effort to make a solid story out of it.