All Comments on 'A Personal Assistant Ch. 01'

Next chapter please - brilliant

Your story is not half bad as far as plot and characters. However, tou stated this was your first time publishing, and you really would have benefitted from using the editor's program. There are a lot of errors in your story. There are a lot of fragment and run on sentences as well as other syntax errors. There are also several mistakes you made that you would have caught if you did a read through before submitting. Ex. When talking about the employees you mention Tiffany. I believe you switched your character fo Melanie but missed that one. Another time you changed what you wanted to say, but left a word (I was sat at my desk...). And toward the end you say she had no tights on, but then say he could feel the moisture on her tights (context error). I am pointing these things out because these errors make it difficult fo read and follow as a reader. That said... I enjoyed the story. Keep writing. Just use an editor next time.

While I strongly agree with your main point - that the author needs a proofreader/editor - I just wanted to note the following about your "extra word" criticism: If you are referring to the word "sat" in the sentence "I was sat at my desk", I believe it was a "UK usage" thing rather than an "extra word" error. In the past few weeks, I've noticed this odd (to a speaker of 'US English', anyway) usage of the words "sat" and "stood". Apparently, where a speaker of 'US English' would say or write "I was seated at my desk", a speaker of 'UK English' would say or write "I was sat at my desk". Similarly, where 'USians' would say or write "She was standing by the car", 'UKians' would say or write "She was stood by the car".

I am only ASSUMING that this is a US/UK thing because every Literotica piece where I've noticed this sat/stood thing has used other 'UK' words (note the use of the word "pub" in this one).

-Rei

Here is a (painfully-) long discussion about it: http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/18609/is-i-am-sat-bad-english

-Rei

I loved this story and cant wait to read the next ones. Dont he discouraged by the grammar nazi's. They were so discouraging, I quit writing. I only posted two stories trying to relate real life experiences. I did realize I needed more to my stories, but this is an amateur site. I was able to read thru your story with excitement and nothing in your writing made me stop and try to figure out what you were trying to say. Good Job!

When someone like you favors my work, I often take the time to read something of theirs. I enjoyed your story, it was good. You should keep writing, and submit more. As someone else said - Don't let the grammar Nazis get you down! I get a lot of comments. And I try to improve my writing when the remarks are constructive, because it helps when the readers point out areas where I can do better. Hope to see more of your work in the future.

very nice build up.. well done..

We should all have a PA like Melanie. Well done 5 stars