All Comments on 'A Quick Trim'

I like the plot idea, but not the details of the execution. Screaming doms lose my respect. Slapping and choking are hard stops. I'm left with a bit of confusion as to why this happened. One line about Gabriel supposedly reminding her of things her master feels she has forgotten didn't suffice. What things? What was she supposed to have learned from Gabriel? If she's not meeting her master's expectations, why isn't he working with her? Was it all just an elaborate ruse? As to Gabriel administering pain, he can't hold a candle to a Brazilian from a tiny Asian lady with broken English.

Although this story is well written, the details are too distracting. I was getting very turned on until the limo dropped her off. We need to care about these people. I skimmed a lot , looking for the 'good' parts.

Remember, less is more.

The writing is good and the writer is talented...just keep in mind, The reader wants to be aroused while reading.