All Comments on 'A Random Hotel Meet Ch. 01'

Hi folks, thanks for reading. This is just a quick scene I wrote with no particular background, just an idea about meeting in a hotel room, and incorporating the term pity fuck. It's meant to be a short, but if feedback demands it, there may be some further adventures of Ricardo and Ana down the line! :)

Interesting premise. Curious to see where it goes.

Nice! The start of a good story ...hopefully with lots of hot, arousing sex scenes.

But on top of everything, the writing is quite good, top notch. And it includes IR sex and fun, so... So, yes, I would encourage a continuation of this story, ....please? I'll keep an eye out for it.

I don't see how this becomes an IR story? Also, it's not complete, it just stops.

If I had to rate it now (despite a promising beginning) it would be a 1*.

You need more.

Dear @Gordo12,

It's interracial because they are in Bogota, Colombia, and Juliana is, obviously a Colombiana. And if the name didn't clue you in, Ricardo Lin is Chinese. "El Chinito" literally means "the Chinese kid" in Spanish.

I literally wrote that in 15 minutes as sort of daily exercise for me. I understand it did not meet your expectations. Perhaps further adventures of Ricardo and Juliana where they are on the run from the Cartels may interest you later. There are obviously a lot of history between them I have to clarify later.

I think your first language is not English, in which case I suggest you get an editor. There are so many errors here I can't really read the story.

stop being racist and corny. you read the story just fine with the grammatical errors.

great idea. continue and see where it takes you

Are you sure 'Ricardo' part of Ricardo Lin in is Chinese? As far as I know its Spanish in origin. Adding Lin to make it Chinese is pretty poor when you could have spent a few minutes more than the 15 minutes you state this took to write to find out.

This is an interesting story idea but the grammatical mistakes make it hard to read. Verb tenses don't match, sentence structure is a bit awkward, and words are missing. Have someone do a copyedit on it and it will be easier to read.

As others have said, the story needs an editor.

A very interesting premise and much to build on. Keep writing.