All Comments on 'A Rat Trap at the Steelers Game'

by englishkev

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  • 3 Comments
PrincessErinPrincessErinover 15 years ago
Interesting

A well written story although your topic is probably a bad choice, many people believe Sarahhh is actually a man.

AverageBearAverageBearover 15 years ago
Glad to see that first comment...

I was a little concerned about the stalker undercurrent while reading the story, but after reading PrincessErin's comment, I'm thinking that maybe Sarahhh can take care of himself...

(Sorry, Sarahhh, if you're the real deal - we Canucks can be so catty...)

AverageBear

AverageBearAverageBearover 15 years ago
Attention to detail

If you're going to include lots of details in a story, you need to get the facts straight. I'm not a Sarahhh groupie and can't comment on those, but the "flight to Philly" and "cheese steak" references indicate that Kev is mixed up between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. Any Eagles fan would be completely pissed at the thought of Heinz Field and the Steelers being in Philadelphia. Understandable since your from across the pond, but you have to research if you're going to include facts like these.

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userenglishkev@englishkev
Amateur author, at least in the context of erotic fiction. I tend to write because something spurs me to do so rather than for the sake of writing - suggestions are welcome, and feedback appreciated. You might find me on IRC at sexnet.org as EnglishKev