All Comments on 'A Retirement Plan'

or to re-read the plans and change the ending, TK U MLJ LV NV

YAWN

Well, while these tales posted here are fantasy, this as a fantasy is still too unbelievable.

Interesting story.

Thank you, I enjoyed that, just desserts all round.

and shows improvment over your previous work. If you only compare yourself to your earlier work, this effort should be viewed as a rousing success!

Keep going, the more you do, the better it gets. Thanks!

Good story...This time the goods win...If he hadn't forget the phone, the bads would have won...Little details make the difference...

great story all their plans backfired on them

A nifty fun to read story.

Well, this time it's BTB (burn the bastard), eh? Good story, for the second time widow. Cheers!

A load of crap, loving wives? Wtf

Short and sweet. Interesting tale. Thanks.

Loving wives seems to attract a fair number of stories about overly complex revenge plans, so this story is not incompatible with other stories that can be found here. I have a problem with murder, even if it is just a fantasy, and wonder if there might be a different website for that type of story. I come to this website for erotic stories. Revenge, violence, and murder (the ultimate violent act), may be a turn-on for some people but not me.

I for one would be more interested in reading the written product of your imagination if it dealt with erotic topics sans violence. If your next story heads in that direction, please share it. If not, please put enough warnings on it so that I can avoid it.

Inventive and detailed, but still left little sis in danger and left too much to chance and circumstance. Still enjoyable.

Bold drawing of black and white with nary a shade of gray. White hats and black hats galore. And the uppance has come.

Just a question: who are these people and why do I care about them?

I like the ice trick though.

Good read. Thanks for sharing.

i.e. please help me understand what this means:

"It just depends on easy you let it happen."

or

"She had lived hand to mouth most of her because she had to."

huh?

and If the policy on him was for 200 grand, and his demise was ruled an accidental death, shouldn't the payout have been $400,000.? otherwise why mention accidental death?

and so on, and so on.

.

....bad news story. Kinda like one of those deep investigative reports like Heraldo Rivera used to do. Too bad this wasn't any more credible than his stories were.

And more sadly than anything else, we never got a chance to care much for any of the rather shallow, shadowy and insignificant characters.

The storyline was a pretty good idea, but it would have been amazing, if you'd just put some effort into your characters, so we could care about them as people and not just narrated images, just outlines of people.

A little better effort on the editorial work with tense, person, number, spelling, grammar and the like, would help make the story more enjoyable to read, as well.

Geraldo not Heraldo. Spanish is different lol.

Great short tale. Bottom line, don't fuck with my little sister. Really. Don't.

I'd fuck you up. Bad.

ha

Five Stars

Very well written short. FYI, character development is oftentimes given short shrift in shorts. . . I know it's not illiteration but for the life of me can't think of the proper term. Oh, well, feel free to bash my comment writing skills.

DHL

This has nothing to do with erotica. This should be in the Dumbstories.com web site.

It was poorly written and not even beleivable.

web site. I gave this a 5

VOTE 1* FOR EVERY STORY RATED BY THAT TRANNY BITCH FOOL VASTIESMITH2 AKA BONNIETAYLOR2 AKA ANON!

What goes around comes around twice as hard.

The police would n ot call an ex in an accidental death. Get your act together.

Just awful

Yes they do call who ever they can.

Very interesting! Could this ever happen??? Sure!

Add some tawdry details and this could one of the subplots to an Elmore Leonard irrelevant but irresistible pulps. .But any supplements have to be pertinent or amusing. Because if it sounds like writing , you got to rewrite it - to mangle one of 'pithier then thou 'quotes .

Full marks *****

Happy endings are nice. A little thin but I enjoyed the story. It did not have as much meat on the bone as I have come to expect from Wieliczka.

...how did the ice prevent brakes from working? Where I live, it can be below freezing for weeks or even months at a time, yet cars can still steer, brakes still work. Obviously, I'm missing something here.

place chucks of ice under the brake petal so it cannot be depressed. Insert where the mechanical levers of the brakes in the engine compartment cannot move (I've checked it out on newer cars). OK?

Once the car was submerged in the water the ice would melt so that there is no indication why the driver couldn't break so it would be put down to the alcohol.

Nice revenge, I've never heard of the ice trick before. Good one.

Nonsense, pretty much everything in this story is unbelievable.

life could work out so well. As for the Donut's comment, fiction doesn't have to be realistic; it just has to draw you in. This little story works. 5

Fair to middling story. I don't find it hard to believe at all, especially with Florida trailer trash. You do need to improve your Grammer and diction. I saw some opportunities for character defining that could have added a lot.

Probably your best story. Well worth reading again.

...but fun, and once in a million times you wish it could happen.

That worked out real good for Barb. The cheaters didn't do so well. Great story.

By My name it is justice.

Good double burn. Ice trick is a good one.

150k for her and 150k for him. Seeing as they both had term life insurance with a separate company.

So the company would have paid out on her to his estate then they would have paid out on his policy. So Barb would have received an extra $300k on top of the $200k already received.

Good story,,,

If life was as easy! Good story.

It is warming when bad things happen to bad people with good people benefitting. It leaves a pleasent taste .

If only Karma really worked like it does in stories.

The ex's car was doing 40 mph in reverse in a parking lot???

I don't normally nitpick technical details in a story but, that one was way over the top.

Not to nitpick a nitpicker, but she is backing up, right? The gun falls, on the floor. The heel of her shoe somehow gets in to the trigger-housing, discharging the weapon upward, striking her in the stomach or chest causing her right leg to stiffen, pushing the excellarator to the floor. I would guess that if there was 15 or 20 feet behind the car, she most likely was doing about 40 miles an hour when she hit the concrete post. Whether she died of a broken neck from the impact or a bullet thru the heart really doesn't make much difference, does it? Good story, keep writing.

XYZ

[08.09.22]

Wicked Funny AF!

11/10!!!!!

See? If you are a good person things always work out! :)

Good story 5* but the ice trick wouldn't work, I was a mechanic for ten years. It would have been easier to put plastic tape on the tyres. [No steering.] And the water would have washed it off.

Sorry don't mean to knit pick your writing is better than mine.

Loved it,that's all I'm going to say bye!

ooooh what an amazing BTB&B. thank you! Easy 5 stars!

Silly fun read

A fun read. Five stars.

JPB

Where exactly does one put ice on the steering or brakes to cause a malfunction? Several months of each year i drive in below freezing temperatures (sometimes temps below 0 degrees) without a malfunction.

Maybe not realistic, but very satisfying burn the bastard , and a bitch.

5 stars from me too, it was fun!

Quite a burn.

Really liked it, probably could have been sharper 4 stars for me.