All Comments on 'A Ride To Remember'

For example, the paragraph about why he had to pee. YOu could write, "I had to pee, so I took the opportunity. Just as I was finishing, ...", or something similar.

Nah! The set up was fine. A little more details during the sex part might have been nice. I would, however, count how many times you used he phrase, "It was then ..."

The set-up was ok. I don't like stories that go, "They meet, look at each other, and suddenly they fuck like bunnies." What I would have wanted was more tension between the characters. Why did she suddenly fancy him? What made her change from just a hitchhiker to seducer? That kind of stuff. Hope this helps in your future style in writing. Good luck.