All Comments on 'A Small Mistake, Big trouble Ch. 09'

I have one suggestion to make: Moving between scenarios is a great way to keep the story moving along, but would you consider adding an extra blank line between those scenarios so your readers can tell the scene has switched? Reading this story, there are no breaks between the transitions, which is a little distracting when you move between perspectives. It's a minor detail, but it would make a significant improvement in your writing. After all, paragraphs help to punctuate a story, and double-spacing between the different sections would serve the same purpose on a larger scale.