All Comments on 'A Stumbling Marriage Pt. 05'

BTB!

He's an idiot, she's a whore and the best outcome would have been if he had killed her and then himself so the child could go and be raised by decent parents.

I thought this series was a lost cause until I came across the minor ointment on the horizon. All is forgiven!

and this woman had no idea of what love is or what it meant

No woman with an ounce of self respect would act like this. I can buy her fucking Kameron to make Andrew jealous. If you stopped there I could have believed that. But then you went overboard and had her act like a porn version of a cheating wife instead of an actual person. Everything that they did to rub Andrews face in it was disrespectful to her too. No one would allow themselves to be disrespected just to prove a point.

The only realistic people in this story were the bouncers who got offended because Andrew got belligerent and called Kameron a nigger.

Still sees herself as a victim. She didn't lose anything, she threw it all away.

It's really a shame, you can't write or tell a story worth a damned. Do all of us readers a favor and don't write any more.

You wrote this as if you were reporting these incidents, not telling a story. Go and read some of the 4.5* stories and see how to give your narrator a personality, and how to do story telling. Once you get it, you'll be able to write good stories.

The other stories were lame but this piece of crap you vomited out took the cake. Not only were her actions out of character, they didn't even have a passing relationship with reality. People don't act like that. Why would she even cry about "what she lost"? What did she think was going to happen? That they would live happily ever after?

I couldn't even read most of this and it made me gag, I can't imagine someone actually reading the whole story.

All of your characters are horrible people. If your intent is that the reader would hate them all then you succeeded.

tell us all he hates them. yet he keeps on reading them? Hummmmm yep, the asshole annony is dumb as a rock Gave it a 5

If you hate them it means the writer did what he or she meant to do. Great story gave you a 5

Gave it 1 star

One of the best I have read in months! Fuck you dear annony!!!

I agree the posters. The author did a character development mistake. A simple cheater will be serial cheater first but rarely she becomes slut. You built up a slut character with quick transformation.

Just fucking weird.

Nothing erotic, clever, interesting or entertaining. Just plain badly written. Shona acts the whore and is rewarded. Really bad conclusion. As for that dummy Bonnie - he likes everything no matter how bad it is. He has moved past HarryinVA as the worst commentator on this site. And as for the other Anon who was mad that yet another Anon didn't like this? Hey dummy #2 - how does anyone know whether or not they like a story unless they read it? Are you just stupid? Guess so. I put you in the same "Idiot" category as Bonnie.

and for pissing off dear annony!!

"One seemingly minor ointment on the horizon"

What the hell is ointment on the horizon?

I didn't read past that. Boring story with moronic characters.

Love how you set this one up! Gave you a 5

unbelievable that there are some dumb readers out there who enjoy such a story. I feel pity for you and your mentally health.

I was really enjoying this story through chapter 4, but this last chapter went way overboard. I liked the way Shona appeared to have conquered her demons and was earning Andrews trust, but in this chapter her behavior was totally unbelievable.

Shona's behavioral is unbelievable. A slut wife would have had some tendency which her husband would have recognized earlier and he would have divorced Shona before common kid!

A cheater or a serial cheater wife hate the slut wives they think themselves in higher level.

2* because I don't know if it's the ending...Instead of pregnat she could have got a serious STD....

Only difference, men really do want to fuck Shona. She's beautiful, witty, sexy, and so appealing. Bonnie? barf. Couldn't buy a kiss from a blind man, or a fuck from a sailor just coming off 8 months at sea.

The bitch needed to suffer more then that. She goes above and beyond what most of the cheating wives in this genre does yet she gets to divorce with a good settlement? He should have paid George to sell her off to a Mexican whore house.

Fuck that usless bitch. Hope she blows her brains out.

You forgot to mention the cocktail of STD's she picked up along the way.

Literature no, rubbish yes.

especially knowing it was self-inflicted. TK U MLJ LV NV

I realize that this is just a figment of the authors imagination,but all I can say is that if it was myself,there would have been no divorce and no prison time for the others,every one that was found out to have been with her,and her would have just disappeared,no trace of any one forward on,but they would have suffered severely.

But from the authors description of him,he was the worst kind of wimp and a coward to boot.

What the hell is " ointment on the horizon" supposed to mean? Please pick one cliched metaphor and stick with it... hopefully complete.

I guess I am disagreeing with the majority.

But, first, it was just too fucking long. It could have been a total of 4 pages and not lost a thing. I had to wait til the end to comment. There was no way I was going to get thru the story without skimming.

OK, yeah, the way the author wrote the wife and the douchebags was so over the top that I think we would all want to kill/maim/destroy them all.

However, the author took at least a realistic approach in dealing with the situation.

Yes, the main character appears "weak" and a pussy, but don't forget he has a daughter.

He got the douchebags in prison (not sure what the tattooist did to go to prison, but there is no way I am reading over this story again! ) , custody of his daughter, and his wife left out of his life on amicable terms which still allow her to be a mother to his daughter which in what I have read she was a pretty good one. But, this way he has majority custody which means he can keep his daughter from being exposed to any slutting around that the cheating cunt will do.

One thing for sure, as a partial penance, the slag should carry the child to term and give it up for adoption that way a loving couple can raise it properly.

He in no way in bloody hell should raise or support that slut's bastard.

puke!

She got what she deserved in the end..Andrew did not deserve a chesting slut for,a wife, no matter how jealous he was.

That was the ending? After 5 chapters of this cuck shit. That's an hour gone I can never get back!

It's your mother the story is written about. So go suck a BBC and eat his shit you fat old ugly fag!!

Don't you mean, what she had disrespected, shat on, and thrown away?

"Andrew organized the divorce settlement, so that she would have a nice house and a maintenance payment of £50000 per year until she married or got to 60 and he paid for her tattoos to be removed.

Andrew said "I am sorry that I was jealous, but there is no point in going over that, I want us to split on good terms, get on with our lives."

ARE YOU SERIOUS...ARE REALLY FUCKING SERIOUS?????

Why do you ass-wipes continually write your protagonist as a pussy-whipped wimp!

NAIL THE SLUT TO THE WALL....GIVE HER AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE AND GET RID OF THE CHEATING BITCH!

Bummer. Really a depressing read. Just sad

Jesus Christ this series was rancid cucky shit to the max. Andrew is a jealous wimp. Sure he had good reason but couldn't reel it in and think straight. Unfortunately for him he was proven right in the end. Small consolation that is. The wife a horrid cheating whore of the worst kind. I thought this story was supposed to have them fix their marriage, instead it just underwent a series of explosions before imploding spectacularly.

What a joke.

Shona deserved much worse than she got. Andrew was a wimp to the very end. He got what he deserved too.

Just stupid from start to finish. No husband would stay or put up with such a slut. He would burn her and send her packing. No way would he give her so much help and money after what she did. Can you write something with a shred of reality. Why are so many writers on this site husband haters

What a wimp...he deserved all he got...should be buried the sob Jordan

THIS IS A LOW T BETA CUCK STORY TO APPEAL TO BETA CUCKS TASTE. THE WRITER IS A CUCK WITH ACCUMEN FOR BETA MALE CUM EATING AND WHORE WIFE WATCHING WE ALL COME TO LOVE.

Should have quit after ch.4. You kind if had a story going about how jealously and excessive and careless flirting can ruin a marriage. Kind of. But my overall take on the story was this wasn't a stumbling marriage but not really a marriage at all. Why do two people want kids when neither of them really want to be together in the first place?

Why would she get anything in the divorce? Hubby is just a wimp from start to finish. Without his friends he would be a lifelong cuck. His settlement is so far over the top it ruins the story and confirms that he really is a wimp

Personally I would have put a bullet in the lot of them.

This was so stupid that Websters had to redefine the word in their dictionary.

Literally one of the dumbest stories I have read on LW, and thats quite a benchmark to move beyind.

This mess went four chapters too far.

Your hero actually used the n word.

I'm sure you do too.

just to much shit to even comment coherently. please go somewhere and die along with your rubbish.

Such a stupid writer.. writing such trash!! No doubt you have to work as a shit cleaner to survive!!

Such a terribly messy story, reads as if the author had no idea where the story was going and threw everything but the kitchen sink into the story. Nothing recoverable in this one.

hated it

I liked the story as an object lesson on limits of tolerance The slut wife was just that a spoiled slut with no redeeming moral values and a"throw away"/ Andrew was a perfect example of a very successful business person with very low social self esteem. The downside of the tale is Andrew's personal stupidity vs his business acumen. The tale didn't even build a strong case for his love/stupidity of his slut wife. I still liked the conflict and chaos. Oh, and the ending... Now she can fuck the 5th fleet every month and Andrew is paying $$ for it.