All Comments on 'A Summer Night in Wellfleet'

Although the beginning is missing a bit. It seems that Rob has somehow consented to this and then chickened out. And the ending is a bit abrupt.

I liked it...even if we don't know for sure if the husband agree to the swing willing or just because he saw that his wife wanted it...Of course if he was against it, he should never go for it...He had some to blame too...The wife seemed she didn't know at all her husband...He would never fuck a friend's fiancée on his back...How this will end? It may end well with a lot of work and professional help...The writer knows better how he wants to end it...3* for now

I could feel the pain and hurt. This story asks for a follow up. Although your last sentences are pointing to a direction i don't really like. Still well written imo.

I give you 4*. Sorry, i give it anonymously as a fellow amateur writer (don't want my ratings to go down).

I read this story before just cant place it.

I enjoyed how you started with the action and later filled in barely enough for the reader to determine what had occurred. You put a lot in a short page. It really needs editing, but this was pretty emotional and seemed possible.

I would give it a solid 4. Since it is presented as a complete stand alone story, I can only give it 2*.

Just shows how stupid some people can be.

However, this can go in several directions.

What if Rob tells everyone what happened? The fallout would be spectacular!

unfinished wimpy cuck shit.

Unless I mis-read this was an agreed upon swap, if he changed his mind he shouldn't have just watched from the doorway, he should have gone in and told Cor he changed his mind.

I could understand him being upset about the anal if he had asked and been refused, but she had offered and HE declined, so he's got no beef there.

He said she never called in the 8 hours it took for him to get home, but she kept calling, what's up with that?

If you finish it I might give one or two or three more!

I gave you a four for the writing about two really stupid people. Grant is a self centered asshole and completely insensitive to anyone else and how they feel. Cori is an absolute idiot and she is only misleading herself about how much she loves her husband. No one in their right mind would realize her husband left because he was pissed off and then bring the other man into the house. She should have told Grant to drive off immediately and he should have had the good sense to do so without being told.

There is no hope for this couple and I cannot see how you could write your way out of this. She is always going to want Grant and his great sex and the husband knows it. Doomed, stick a fork in the marriage, it is done.

is your favorite author then you don't read much.

Very well constructed, tightly focused snippet. You recognized exactly where your drama was sourced and portrayed it through characterization and dialog, instead of a flat, factual listing of events the way most authors on here do.

Insecure, whiny little bitches like Rob have no business putting themselves in that situation, so I can't help but wonder how that could have happened in the first place. That seems like the most important part of this story, yet it was completely omitted! How did Rob and Cori end up fucking other people that night if Rob was so opposed to it?

If this is meant to be a cautionary tale, it seems obvious that a married person shouldn't fuck someone else unless his/her spouse is completely on board with it. So...in the end it's a story about people doing things that everyone knows will lead to trouble...and finding trouble.

I don't think another chapter is necessary unless there is some unexpected twist ahead.

Rob was never a part.... unspoken agreements aren't agreements

as the cliché states when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME

no need to continue, anyone can see she blew the marriage out of the water

This was a spur of the moment, spontaneous happening. There was no discussion or planning for the encounter. NO ONE COMMUNICATED. Wifey and fuck buddy apparently paired off first with the engaged girl getting ready to cheat on her fiancée with hubby. No one clued hubby in or got his take on it before it happened. It was obvious when he told wifey and fb after that he was never okay with them fucking at all that night. His position was very clear when he refused to fuck the cheating fiance'.

Since nothing was agreed to ahead of time. The two cheaters and Laurie, John and Audrey decided that it was okay without checking with hubby first, believing they could spin it and "bring him around" to their point of view AFTER THE FACT. Idiots didn't really know him or blew him off because they didn't care about anything else but what was between their legs. The only thing left is the aftermath, closure and answers to some outstanding questions, one of which is, what about John and Audrey? Were they single?, Married to each other? To others? Did they cheat too? On their spouses/ significant others? Good story, The editorial issues did not detract from the reading the story much. It does need some type of conclusion.

Interesting story, reminded me a bit of Richard Gerald's "The Bridge" in a sense how a wife has just decided to go out and do something with a former lover from her school days and ignores the responsibility and commitment that marriage entails.

Nice writing that captures her satisfaction, then the fear and emotional angst of hurting her husband and partner. Sad, but very clear about communication and expectations.

Thanks for the effort and please keep writing.

a leer, a snigger, and a smirk. Already, I don't like these people.

And that's the way the story played out, unlikable self-centered people. Actually, the same story that's more often told from the husband's point of view, but no worse for that. Just the usual contradiction in these incipient BTB tales with all the blame dumped on the wife: she's written as a contradiction from the start. Which only makes me wonder about the deficiencies of the husband, not able to see it.

It's impossible to judge the characters. Did he agree to this beforehand? Otherwise why was she with Grant? If he agreed to it he has nothing to complain about.

He might not like the results but it's time to put on his big boy panties and suck it up!

I thought this was a terrific story which had a lot of open ends to make it intriguing. Why does Laurie want to play with Rob when she is engaged to Steve who isn't at the house. What is the relationship between John and Audrey? How did the extramarital banging start and was Rob part of the decision making? I hope there is a part 2 which answers some of these questions and finalizes Rob and Cori's doomed relationship.

It was good but needs a chapter to give how the night or weekend started with a little story on the others. Was this a few people who went to school with the wife and it didn't seem like hubby knew his wife was grants ex and he's fucked her many times before. Also as a hubby I don't wNt to know guys that have fucked my wife before me or hang around with them years later . Add to that what he saw and knows that they fucked all night and fell a sleep together and he saw the guys big black cock up his wife's ass is to many images to get passed. Also her holding out on the morning blowjob is just adding a lying sneaky cunt to the mess, get it all out in the open for a chance. For me it would be game over, I wouldn't have even been in the house when she got home. Then she shows up with that dick with his smug look , he tries to get involved and she walks him out hug him good bye , really.

What is it what that author feels when he is writing that crap? Satisfaction of wants?

I think he feels the satisfaction of a wimp and cuck!!!

I know you wanted this to be a surprise reveal kind of story, but there is too much going on with all the couples to clearly understand what went down, although the idea that Rob originally consented to the swinging is nowhere to be found, belied by his pain and failure to admit any responsibility, and the tagline says no. There are other things though that are never explained but point to a bigger story. They came to this place as friends. Grant was Rob's best friend. He must know he was his wife's ex. How did that come about? Why did Cor think that Rob would be okay with it, was it merely a "Hail Mary" that Laurie would be able to seduce him and she would make Rob equally guilty of the crime? And you do need a resolution. You do write well and I found what was here enjoyable, but as it stands, it only musters a 2. I hope you write more, put a beginning on it and an end and you will have a great story if this is any indication of your ability.

I loved your story. It was a great takeoff of Ben Boswell's story. I don't understand why people don't read. You clearly stated that it was as such.

I had to go back and reread Ben's story. I have to say I like the ending you gave us better than what Ben wrote. I like the angst and turmoil that you gave us but still looks like a happy ending. Ben started it but washed it away. I think yours is much more likely in reality.

I don't think most of your commenters read your opening, where you explain you wanted to say "what if" it went the opposite way of the original. Personally I liked you diving right into the drama of the reaction, and think the beginning worked well. As for the ending you hinted there might be more. I for one, will be happy to read on if you do, and if you don't will be running through the possibilities on my own.

Thanks for your story.

Well written, and with great drama. Don't pay attention to the critics, as they apparently haven't read the description of the stories that are supposed to be on this site, or they have chosen to ignore it. Thanks for the effort.

I don't think so.

Laurie had her tits in Rob's face and his cock in her hand, there was apparently SOMETHING intended there, and he changed his mind.

And he said he waited for her call, when she called and got his machine and texted him.

I'm sorry, unless zanker wants to submit a prelude or leave a comment explaining how things started, I'm sticking with my comment, that Rob is an ass!

She says that once, but it is obviously hyperbole. Her description makes it clear that she chased after him before she could start the seduction, caught him at the door, and then tried to seduce him by reaching around to play with his dick that he doesn't respond to. Clearly she was to seduce him but obviously didn't get a chance and certainly didn't succeed. Cor just thought that it would all work out. She would get her fuck, Rob would be compromised by succumbing to another woman, and her cake could be eaten too. Didn't happen and consequences ensue.

As for reading the other story on some other site which sells everything. Um, why would we go somewhere we don't know about to pay for something we don't know we want to read yet? Stories here need to stand on their own. If he wanted to base a story here on a story there, then he should have provided a synopsis. Otherwise, we can only judge by the story we have here and he got that score from me. 2.

I believe you have the heart to be a good writer. Your story had a ring of truth to it, hope it wasn't you. Xoxoxoxo Annette

But there is none here. You don't tell us the prolog, so the characters actions seem bizarre. Assume assume? So other than that gapping hole in the story, it was well written, you're a competent writer.

Chilley

It does not need resolution to be entertaining and exciting, but its like ending Robinson Crusoe with the poor blighter unrescued, just living day to day on his deserted island.

When he divorces the bitch?49ae

Well done - I enjoyed it and would love to see a follow-up to see how it all ends.

Encore!

But this story didn't quite make it, for me. The husband was a bit too passive and wimpy. I would have liked it better if he had said something like, "I had forgotten what a total slut you were in college. I guess some things never change. But my fault, I should have known better than to marry the kind of woman who would fuck a black man.".

At the very least, he should have asked, "Why would you just assume that I would be okay with you fucking Grant, without discussing it with me first. Evidently, our marriage doesn't mean much to you.".

But thanks for posting. I'll look forward to seeing your future stories.

Great story! The sadness and heartbreak was so real. I really liked how Grant drove her home and she didn't even think about how that in itself was going to hurt Rob. The way you wrote about Rob pining for her on his way home. Rob hoping she'd call, and yet she slept in Grants bed with no care in the world, perfect.

So here are my comments. I think you may want to show the readers how much Cori does love her husband if this story is going to be a "sweet cuckold" story of any kind. Also, more sex. Sex between Cori and Rob is a given. May also want to show Cori sexually yearning for Grant. I think that no man will ever go down with out fighting unless he's done with the relationship, so the reader needs to know which side of the fence Rob is on: kick her to the curb, or let the woman plug herself silly. Last option for Rob is that he goes bat shit crazy while tormenting Grant and destroying Grants life. Rob grows to be dominant and becomes malicious and mean leaving Cori to except that it's all her fault and excepts to like the new Rob. Rob allows Cori to stay, but under his rules.

While I don't believe that every story needs to have all loose ends buttoned up; that was not a good place to end this story.

Need to burn the bitch

I don't like any of the characters, but with abbreviated telling that doesn't matter as much. Big misterstan fan here as well and zanker did an imaginative riff on one of the aformentioned author's pet themes. I'm giving five stars based on this is a strong premiere effort . Yes the premise deserved a bit more polish, so don't rest on laurels or slutty Laurens . Lol.

Full marks. *****

A good short story is about a single event with minimal characters, minimal backstory, and a climax. Personally, I think they need to have a climax and a resolution to be complete, but that's just my opinion. This one has the basics down pat with a pretty good climax as the female protagonist understands the depth of her mistake. However IMHO we are missing that all important resolution to make it complete. Of course, considering the vitriol heaped on the authors within the LW genre', I guess I don't really blame any writer from shying away from a definitive ending.

She is a heartless slut he needs to move on.

Gave it a 1 cuz its not finished. She should get burned...

good start, but if you think about completing this, add a "ch1" in the title, otherwise you will get a shitload of 1* ratings for posting an unfinished story. if you don't plan to complete this story then the 1* votes are deserved.

You are mistaken. The title's subheading tells you that this "swing" was not planned ahead of time. The husband was uninformed (otherwise it would have been "planned").

That said the husband was not an ass. He was certainly cut out of the standard, impotent, passive, flight rather then fight mold that many loving wive's authors use. I don't think that this is a bad thing, its just a standard archetype for this genre.

As to the story itself, I think the author writes well (though he needs an editor), his dialog is very good, he characterizes and move the story forward well with show (not tell) and I was very engaged from the get go. Overall it was an exceptional first effort. The ending was abrupt and unfinished, the wife was never really held accountable, but I think the story was more about his feelings (and hers) then it was about resolution.

The problem for me was that many of the core issues; she did not talk about this before hand showing a lack of trust and a level of manipulation that he never talked to her about and that she did not even want to admit to herself; his lack of assertiveness when confronted with her infidelity showing an almost disastrous passiveness in his relationship; her complete loss of awareness of him during his first "swing" which should have been her primary state of mind (if this was an honest swing and not simply a rationalized cheat on her part), and so on.

A wise man once said: your eyes should always be looking to your beloved. When you walk into a crowded room, it is them you should be looking for. When you see them it should make your soul light up! If this is not so, then there is something very wrong with the relationship. I agree with that wise man.

The husband was true to the above paragraph. The wife? Not so much so. It happens. Men and women get infatuated by a person or an idea or simply a lust and lose themselves. Some can recover. For some it goes to long and the harm is to great, or they simply can't see enough into themselves to save what is important.

Did she get "woken up" about her infatuation? Did she remember her love, albeit after the harm was done? Is she self-aware enough to see her mistakes and to try to self correct (regardless of the marriages healing or dying)? Those are the questions that another chapter could examine with plenty of drama.

Does the story need another chapter? Some closure would be nice but I don't think the author was aiming for closure. Like I said, the story seems more about feelings then about a story line with a satisfying ending.

The fact that it generated so many comments, and many from some of the best writers on the site, well, that ought to tell the author that he succeeded.

Unfortunately we are not privy to what happened before, but "unplanned" doe NOT mean "uninformed".

Maybe Grant "spontaneously" suggested that they swap off for the night, and Cor, Laurie and Rob all agreed. Then Rob got cold feet but didn't stop Grant and Cor after he left Laurie and just left.

Now, Grant seems like a bit of an ass, and Laurie a slut, but Cor seems like a caring, loving wife and doesn't seem like the type to sign off on this without at least BELIEVING that Rob was on board.

Maybe Laurie and Grant got them apart and Grant told her that Rob was on board, and dope slaps to her for not going and confirming with Rob. We don't know how close this friends group is and how much of an idiot she was for trusting Grant.

You can say that the way that Rob (who presumably DOES know all this) reacted, proves that she was wrong, OR you can say that he was an ass.

I got the impression that while unplanned that everyone was in agreement. Again, until zanker either posts a comment or a prelude, we are left to our own devices.

I think it is a fine short-story. Readers should read (then remember) the author's preface (yeah, redundant.). Zan clearly states it will not be finished (Was Poe's "The Raven?") One-Bombers could save time and electricity by understanding that note and moving to another story (silently thanking Zan for thinking about them!)

Hell, Zan even tells those who prefer Pollyanna that that ain't happening, either. Cori was NOT going to both have her cake and eat Grant! Move on ... read a different story ... save your time and conserve your bile!

The only question I have relates to the composition of the reunion. Implicit, I think, is that all were former college classmates. If so, Hubby shoulda known about Sweetie's impetuous nature and found it, if not delightful, at least tolerable before proposing!

If you don't want to finish it , don't post it. I rate unfinished stories 1 on principle. Even if I don't read them. Fucking lazy authors.

She wasn't committed to anything but her vajayjay and great orgasms. Hubby was right. He couldn't compete with what Grant gave her. She wanted the close, personal love of a committed marriage, without the close personal commitment. Too bad.

It just doesn't work that way.

Seems like there is more story to tell and you stopped it at a very difficult place. Loose ends and unresolved issues at the no of the story tend to piss off readers.....unless you're posting stories with the old cliffhanger to keep readers coming no back. Good luck with that.

Cori is a slut, plain and simple. She shouldn't be married, because she seems to have no concept of what marriage is and what it requires both parties to do and keep doing to make for a happy life together.

Rob had best get out and on with his life as quickly and quietly as possible. Besides, Cori always has Grant, if she gets an itch.

No thank you.

You're not a writer; you're a jerkoff artist.

You write better than most on this site. What happens next?

How can something this good be your only contribution???

I wish there was more.

Never wished a story had a sequel more than this one. The unhurried, honest exploration of this emotional journey is stellar. I wonder how she’d handle the conditions reconciliation would require...for example, cutting contact with all of her friends who were a part of this...

Hell of a good read.

I really wish you weren't a one and done. There are many here that shouldnt even do the one part of one and done, you on the other hand had a talent here.

Really wish the next chapter came along.

Damn! I wanted to see if he dumped the whore.

@sbrooks

YOU need to reread this1 Your comment is as bogus as you seem to think the worst for any one other than yourself.

Excellent. It appears this author is long gone which is a shame, I’d love to read more like this.

Well... this was half a story.

Is there another half ?

I don’t know why the author didn’t finish the story. I hate it when an author writes half of a story. It happens too much.