A Tale of Two Mothers Pt. 03

Now as I've already mentioned, Paul had fallen in love with Anna's hot yellow Monaro but shortly after we'd moved in Anna and Elvira came around with a bottle of wine and a basket of fancy cheeses and crackers. This would have been July, the dead of winter and it started bucketing down not long afterwards and so mum invited them to stay for dinner. Anna wasn't wearing anything that could be construed as provocative. She wore a white shirt with pink checks under a loose vee necked jumper that fell past her hips. But after dinner as we were all sitting in the living room in front of a blazing fire she decided to take her jumper off.

"God, I am getting hot."

"It's hotter than hell," Elvira drawled in a Southern accent.

"That's my daughter, always putting on a performance," she pulled the jumper over her head, "go on sweetie, do your Scottish one it always cracks me up."

"Awa' an' bile yer heid," she replied, "it's no' hot mum, it's warm."

A ripple of laughter moved around the room and Paul shifted suddenly as he grabbed a pillow and put it over his crotch. It was only then I noticed that Anna's blouse was buttoned to her cleavage but that particular button had popped loose. Mum inclined her head at her and Anna fastened the button as Elvira kept speaking Scottish but after they'd gone Paul let out a sigh.

"I think she's hot, mum."

"Who, Anna?"

"Who do you think?" Paul blushed.

"She's old enough to be your mother, she's forty two and if you call her a milf I'll ground you."

"How do you know what that means?"

"Because I was one," she smirked.

However Paul was not to be dissuaded by threats from mum and when Anna offered to pay him to paint her back fences with oil to protect them from rot, he jumped at the chance. It's a big job due to the fact she has a big yard with a pool and decking, he spent all weekend doing it while Anna did housework or took Elvira out. I went with them on Saturday afternoon because she was going to drop off a blouse she'd made for Auntie Jodie. It was a particularly poignant note for me because I'd actually help cut the material, a fact Anna mentioned to Auntie Jodie when she referred to me as 'my new apprentice.' When we got back home Paul was just coming up the driveway with his shirt off and a smirk on his face.

"Be back tomorrow to finish off," he smiled.

He was as good as his word. Elvira and I had taken Sam to the park in the afternoon and when we got back we found Paul with his shirt off again and a triumphant smile on his face as he drank a Coke, his chest and arms were streaked with black oil. Anna inspected the fence and complimented him on a great job.

"I'll go inside and get your money," she patted his shoulder, "then you'd better go and grab a shower."

Elvira followed her inside and I went back home to tell mum.

"You should see Paul, he's covered in oil. She's going to pay him before she sends him home," I pushed my glasses up my nose, "he probably thinks he's got a chance now."

Mum nearly choked on her coffee and Birgit had to look away as mum burst out laughing.

"Christ, that boy," she eventually recovered, "Anna is as gay as they come."

"How come she's got a daughter then?"

"IVF," Birgit chuckled, "the lesbian's best friend."

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"Leave that to me," mum grinned.

Paul did find out a few days later and he was suitably devastated!

However finding out Anna was gay did change the way I saw her. I now aligned her with mum and Birgit and because she was old enough to be my mum too I began to draw closer to her. Anna for her part was always pleased to see me, because although Elvira had her own friends, I was the only older friend she had. I soon started earning pocket money for babysitting whenever she had to go out for dinner or was working late. That didn't happen until the month I turned fourteen when she measured me up for a dress I was going to make for a school dance. By then I'd gained enough skills and confidence to try making my own clothes, Anna was going to supervise me but I needed to be measured again because my breasts had grown yet again. It was something that filled me with both wonder and worry because I'd noticed that boys looked at my breasts while they talked to me, as if they were expecting them to answer!

"You'll be be fourteen soon," she wrote down another measurement, "soon you'll be working."

"Yeah, I guess," I looked at her, "but I won't be painting your fence."

"No you won't," she wrapped the tape around my breasts, "here, hold that and breathe out."

I breathed out and she wrote down another measurement.

"How'd you like to earn some cash though?"

"Doing what? Making clothes?"

"Babysitting," she handed me an end of the tape, "hold it right there," she squatted down and held it to just above my knees, "you get along well with Elvira," she rose and wrote down another number, "and I've decided to do some lecturing on a Wednesday night. I was going to ask your mothers but I know they've got enough on already so how about I pay you to come down here and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."

"Me? You'll pay me to look after Elvira?" I nudged my glasses, "sure, of course I'll do it."

"You're not going to ask me how much?" Anna smiled crookedly, "it's not a princely sum but it'll give you extra pocket money and I'll leave a meal in the fridge to heat up later."

"How much?"

"Fifteen dollars an hour," Anna replied, "so after three hours you'll have forty five dollars, and if this works out I'll increase it to eighteen dollars an hour," she hung the tape measure around her neck, "which would be fifty four."

I nearly fell over at that. Forty five dollars at the age of fourteen was a princely sum but Anna did have money to burn.

"I'll go ask Birgit."

"Go ahead," she nodded, "I'll bring some patterns through in a minute."

Birgit feigned surprise when I told her.

"Wow, forty five bucks? I'm jealous," she grinned and then when Anna entered the room again she gave her the eye, "are you sure you can afford all that money?"

"I'll manage, but it's a stretch," Anna smiled.

And that was how I got to babysit Elvira and I swear to God, I earned every fucking penny. It's an only child thing because she never had to compete for attention, when I was alone with her she expected the same treatment. Elvira is an actress for real these days but back then she was strictly amateur in school plays. I found the best way to calm her down was to let her play to the gallery. I'd tell her to put on an accent and she'd go on for fifteen or twenty minutes, sometimes longer until she calmed down and then she'd be as quiet and docile as a lamb. We'd sit and do homework or fool around before I put the dinner on. By the end of that three month stint she was helping to reheat the dinner and get out the plates and cutlery. Anna noticed that too and the last few weeks she upped my pay rate to eighteen dollars an hour.

***

I'm skipping ahead to Year 11 because midway through that year a new girl started at Lilydale High in September. Holly Mansfield had brown skin and black hair, and when she smiled at me I felt my heart jump even though she smiled at everyone. Prior to seeing Holly I'd been drawn to boys for the most part, but that was possibly because I had two mums and a lesbian neighbour, it was my way of asserting myself. I wanted to show them that I wasn't going to automatically go out with girls despite the fact that I was naturally drawn to them.

It's bizarre to think that as a teenager I was in denial of my sexuality and it wasn't because my mum would reject me for it, rather it was due to the fact that I wanted to be different to my mum. It also explains why I got my first boyfriend, Tony in Year 11 and that was when mum gave me the birds and bees talk.

Many parents try awkwardly to skirt around that talk because it's either embarrassing or they don't want to admit that their children are actually becoming young adults, which is sad because just looking at teenagers you can tell their bodies are changing. I'd lost puppy fat in some areas and gained fatty tissue in other parts of my anatomy and enough said there! And as we all know, boys and men are fascinated by boobs. Thus I was probably more aware than my peers of the dangers of unprotected sex.

However I should point out that mum and Birgit were not overly protective of me. Rather I was given boundaries and I certainly needed fences because Tony was keen to open my gates and be my first and he claimed he'd been with girls before. What he didn't realise is that girls do talk, all the time! I knew the girls he claimed have been with hadn't gone that far with him. We broke up and I went with an Indian boy, Nish because he was quietly spoken and had gorgeous brown skin and black hair. Unlike Tony who was always trying to hold my hand or put his arm around me, he was the one who'd sit and talk to me.

It's probably why I was drawn to Holly, she wasn't Indian but she had a light brown complexion. I remember the day she stopped to talk to me on the oval one lunchtime. I was with Nish when she was passing by deep in thought but when she saw me she came to a stop.

"Is it true what they say about you?"

"It all depends," I folded my arms.

"That your mum is married to a woman?"

"Oh, that," I nudged my glasses up my nose, "yeah, I have two mums and I love them both."

I waited for the cynical smile or even an anxious one but instead there was a cheesy grin.

"Awesome," she flicked at her hair, "god that is so awesome. My Auntie Ella came out last year and we're all so proud of her," she glanced at Nish and registered his attention and then came back to me again.

"And what about you, are you?"

"Um no, I'm with Nish," I nudged him and he put his arm around me.

"That's cool, I was just curious. Do you mind if I join you or do youse want to be alone?"

"Sure, you can join us," Nish spoke up, "we're hanging out together."

We spent the rest of lunchtime together and I found myself telling her about my dad's suicide and she told me about her dad. Holly's father was an obsessive control freak and eventually Holly's mum, Astrid packed up her things and moved interstate to get away from him. When she told me the next day that her mother worked day shifts in a local massage parlour she made me promise to never tell anyone. Hearing that just drew Holly and I closer together. Holly became a regular visitor at our house to the point where mum and Birgit referred to her as their second daughter. By then Holly and I were best friends for life, which aroused the attention of the guys. They'd assume we were lesbians and we'd tease them and pretend we were but afterwards we'd piss ourselves laughing at our antics.

However it was understandable that they might think that, because Holly didn't seem interested in guys and that was due to her mum's job. Prostitution is legal in the state of Victoria providing you're a registered sex worker. For some women it's a conscious choice because it's a highly lucrative occupation, Astrid's ex might have been a control freak but he earned quite a bit of money, he was a lawyer. When the marriage ended and they moved to Melbourne, a chance encounter with a prostitute in the hair salon where Astrid was working led to an interview at a local massage parlour and a full time job. Massage parlours are quite well maintained these days, with private security and enough precautions to ensure the women and clients are protected. Because she was a single mum she was even able to just do nine to five, Monday to Friday and one Saturday night every two weeks.

For Astrid it was a no brainer. She could earn enough money just lying on her back to pay a mortgage and put food on the table. The downside of course was the fact that society views such women as sluts and Astrid's opinion of men was that they were useful for certain things like fixing a leaking pipe or a car but Astrid never had a boyfriend in all the time I knew her. I mean she was attractive and could dress to impress but inevitably the middle class men she lusted after weren't going to sleep with a woman who slept with other men for money.

Astrid had a strong personality and I can see something of her in Holly, but my best friend was also drawn to mum, Birgit and Anna, three women who could also earn enough money without having to spread their legs for it. She loved her mum and was very protective of her but she was determined to follow her sister's example and get herself a career in social work. Lucy was in her second year at Monash university doing her social work degree.

The summer of 2011/2012 stands out in particular because I started to accept that while I loved Nish dearly, I didn't love him in the way he wanted. I loved hanging out with him by our pool but I also loved hanging out with Holly by the pool as well. Poor Nish didn't know where to look with Holly and I lounging about on deck chairs or swimming in the pool. He was polite enough not to stare too long at Holly or mum and Birgit but when Anna came around after work I noticed he paid her a lot of attention because she was single. Mum noticed other changes as well, like the fact I'd never call or text him first although I'd answer texts, but I'd text Holly frequently. Mum however didn't raise the subject because she had her hands full with Paul who had become quite obstinate with her, there were frequent arguments over silly little things.

That escalated into a stand up, winner take all knockdown fight in February 2012 when Paul was caught sitting in mum's car with a can of beer in his hand. He was on his Probationary licence and you're supposed to be alcohol free while you're on your P plates. He lost his licence and along with that mum decided to go back on the deal she'd made the previous year whereby he could rent her car for two years and she'd transfer it to his name when he got his full licence.

Paul was furious at mum and the police because he'd only been sitting in the car at Warrandyte river and 'hadn't even been driving.' It was Birgit who went down to see Anna while Paul and mum were yelling at each other. She returned with a smug smile on her face.

"It's all right," she reassured Paul, "Anna can fix it."

"She can?" Paul looked at her.

"Uh huh, she's going to pick you up tomorrow morning, she's got to go into the Melbourne Magistrates court but she'll take you out to see someone who can fix this. But you have to put on some good clothes."

"What? Like a suit?"

"Just a clean shirt, trousers, and no sneakers."

Mum was staring at Birgit and I thought they were going to start arguing but then Birgit went into their bedroom and mum followed her. They were in there for a good five minutes and when she returned mum looked much calmer.

"All right, if Anna can fix this then I might revisit our little deal."

Holly came home with me the next day to stay over and as we lay in bed together I told her of how shaken up Paul had been. Anna had taken him from the court to the police forensics garage where they run tests on cars that have been in fatal accidents. Afterwards, the police had shown him video footage of dead people being cut from mangled cars with the jaws of life. That intervention by Birgit and Anna certainly saved my brother from becoming yet another statistic and peace returned to the home yet again.

On the subject though of Holly and I in bed together I have to be quite clear. Neither of us did anything in bed because we were both friends, however having her in bed with me did make me realise at least one thing. I could never lie in bed with a guy and feel so safe and secure, but with Holly I felt as if nothing could touch me. And speaking of lying in bed I have to get to bed now, Karin has just stepped out of the shower.

***

I graduated from Year 12 with an A+ in Art, an A in English and a A- for maths, mum and Birgit were both over the moon that I'd scored straight As, but I'd also gained other skills too. Over the last few years Birgit had been teaching mum and I Danish, to the point that when I talked to Karin on Skype we could actually talk in Danish. I had also picked up another skill, dressmaking from Anna, who had a steady stream of customers, but because she is a lawyer and a mother, her time was on a budget. Thus, I became the one who put the clothes together and she'd give me a share of the profits and ultimately it was a combination of that little sideline and getting my driver's licence that led to Nish and I parting company.

I've said before that Nish was the nicest guy I'd known in high school. He really was a cut above the others and to this day I still value his friendship. When he broke up with me he actually brought flowers around to the house. It was the day I passed my driving test and Mum was putting the P plates on her car and Holly was taking pictures with her new phone for posterity and Facebook! We were going to drive to Chirnside Park and then I was going to drop her off at her boyfriend's house. Holly had finally got a boyfriend three months ago.

Nish came up the driveway with flowers and because I'd sent him a text to tell him I just thought that he was bringing me flowers because I'd passed my test. I actually kissed him on the lips and he looked a little nervous as I pulled back.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Can we talk in private? It won't take long."

"Sure," I gave the flowers to Holly and moved away with him.

"Congratulations," he let go of my hand.

"Thanks," I smiled, "and thanks for the flowers."

"The flowers aren't for that," he replied, "look it's kind of obvious that you and I are never going to be anything more than just friends," he dug his hands into his pockets, "I just wanted you to know I'm going out with Kylie tomorrow night, we're going to the multiplex at Knox."

"Oh," I pushed my glasses up my nose, "you're breaking up with me?"

"Kind of but we were never really together but you've got your licence and you've got Holly, three's a crowd as they say," he looked at Holly, "you two are good together."

"She's got a boyfriend."

"Damien," he frowned, "she'd be better off without him but it's not for me to say. Look, I don't know if you're gay or not and this is my fault, maybe if I'd made a move sooner it might have been different but I hope we can still stay friends."

I stood there staring at him, just trying to register what he'd said and when I did I looked over at Holly who had kind of noticed my expression and I felt a tearing inside as if something had been torn out of me. My boyfriend had finally acknowledged something that I had been avoiding for the last couple of years. I was attracted to girls, just like my mother. I felt my stomach drop away as he stepped forward and hugged me.

"I love you but not like that," he whispered and then stepped away, "drive safe."

When mum asked me if I was all right I told that Nish and I had just broken up.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she hugged me.

"It's all right, mum, he gave me flowers because he didn't want me to be sorry."

"And are you?" Mum pulled back, "sorry?"

"Kind of," I glasses, "but he's right, I'm not into boys."

"Are you sure you'll be all right to drive?"

"I will," I hugged her, "I'll be back soon."

"Drive safe," she released me.

"That's just what he said," I handed her the flowers, "can you put these in water, please?"

When I told Holly over coffee at Chirnside Park she was shocked.

"But you guys have been together for eighteen months. How can you take it so calmly?"

"Because Nish is right," I looked at her over the rim of my coffee cup, "I like girls not boys, I mean we kissed but it wasn't full on pash sessions like you and Damien and he's never tried to feel me up," I looked past her.

"So, you're coming out?"