A Tale of Two Paramours Ch. 11

"No woman deserves to be forced to do something like this. I would never do it, not to you, not to my ex-wife, not to anyone." I declared.

"And if I really thought you believed that women deserve to be treated like this and that you were a guy who would do this for real, I would not being doing this now," she explained patiently. "This is just playing. It's exciting. I mean, when it is like this. Not like when it really happened."

I felt my mouth hanging open as I stared at the suddenly very small and frail looking young woman on the floor. For her part, Jessi's face drained of color as she looked back up at me. Taking a step back, I held out my hand to her. Tears welled up in her blue eyes as she looked at the offered hand.

"That pretty much ends this for you, huh?" she sniffed.

I nodded, and with a sigh, Jessi pulled the vibrator from inside of her and turned it off. She then took my hand and used it to pull herself up. We looked into each other's eyes for a moment, then I pulled her to me and gave her a long hug.

"Do you want to talk about it," I asked her as we held each other.

"Not really," she replied.

"Okay," I agreed.

"Can we lay down in bed?" she asked softly. "Maybe you could just hold me."

"Sure, honey," I told her. "We can lie down."

"Thanks, Mark," she whispered.

Hand-in hand, we walked back to her bed. She climbed in first, laying on her side with her back to me. I then lay down on my side and snuggled up against her, my left arm draped over her waist. My right arm was positioned above my head, allowing me to softly stroke her hair.

After several minutes, Jessi sighed and said, "It happened a little less than a year ago and was the real reason I gave up guys - until you, that is."

"What happened?"

"A guy I hooked up with turned out to really believe that women were natural slaves to men, and he spent a weekend showing me that," she stated flatly.

"Oh," I replied, my mind racing back to Christmas and New Years - the collar and whip as a present, the offer to be my slave, all of it.

"I'd done rough stuff before," she continued. "But always it was just fun. It was not just fun for him."

"Is that why you, um, want me to, uh, be rough when you start to, um, feel too much?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "But I know that is why - or at least partly why - I wanted to be your slave. With you it would be for fun, not because you thought I was part of an inferior species."

"But does doing those things make you think about..."

"Yes and no," Jessi interrupted me. "As I told you before, I'd dreamed about doing that stuff - being a slave and shit like that, and I'd done some rough stuff and been tied up - but I thought what happened had made me not want it anymore. But then you came along, and I did want it. And then I had these feelings, and I didn't think I should want it but I still did, and when you and I do it, that helps with those bad memories, because I want this with you."

A moment of silence stretched between us, and then Jessi asked, "Did any of that make any sense to you?"

"It did," I assured her. "And I know you said you had anxiety issues before, um, that happened, but did it..."

"...make them worse?" she filled in for me. "Maybe. It certainly didn't help."

"Okay," I said, and then again we were both silent for a while.

"You're never going to fuck me again, are you Mark?" Jessi suddenly blurted out.

"Why would you say that, Jessi?" I asked her.

"Because of how messed up I am," she responded.

"I told you earlier, I cannot stop wanting you," I reminded her.

"But you're not going to want to be rough or to make me do stuff," she lamented. "Just like you don't want to be my master."

"I do not think I can do or be those things - not to the degree I think you want," I replied.

"I asked you to call me 'cunt' because that was the name he gave me that weekend," she told me after another period of silence. "He said I had to work my way up to 'bitch'. When I saw the video, with the guy calling the girl 'cunt' all the time, it made me want you to do it to me as a way to take it away from him and to give me some control over it all."

I let her words sink in. They were a stark reminder that most social interactions were challenging for my young lover. The sentiment she expressed was one I had heard from friends who taught psychology - people often try to later assert control over similar situations to those in which they earlier lacked control - but her formulaic, almost computational thought process showed me that she did not really appreciate the more subtle ramifications of what she was attempting to do.

When it was clear she was not going to say anything else right them, I said, "What you are talking about is, to my understanding, common for people who have experienced trauma - the desire to relive a traumatic experience in a situation that allows for some sense of control."

"That's what I learned in psych class," Jessi agreed.

"But I am concerned it is not really a one-to-one correspondence," I continued. "I am not sure you can balance out one experience with another."

The young blonde beside me sighed and rolled over to her other side, so that she was facing me. As we had not turned out the lights, I could see her well, and I clearly saw what I thought was pain in her eyes.

"I had to try," she told me. "I had to try to make it something I could make sense of."

"I know, honey," I assured her.

"I thought it'd make it okay if we did it," she went on. "And it'd okay that I liked it, just like when we tried for me to be your slave. I liked those things with him, even when I knew I shouldn't, even when it was clear he didn't really care if I said 'yes' or 'no'. Even when I did not want it to happen, my body liked it."

I knew that it was possible for a woman to respond physically to unwanted sexual activity, and I knew that having such responses could lead the woman to profound feelings of shame, but knowing it did not equip me to deal with it. What Jessi was feeling - or at least what I thought she was feeling - was well beyond my ability to do anything but give her comfort and support.

"Have you talked to anyone?" I ventured after another period of silence.

"Like a shrink?" the young woman asked, a look of disgust on her face. "I think I told you about my experience with shrinks."

"You told me that your mother fired some therapists who thought she was a contributing factor toward your panic attacks," I said.

"She did, but I didn't think they helped me much anyway," she explained. "And the couple I've tried since didn't help either. They want to figure why I'm this way - I just want help to not be this way."

"I see," was my only responses. I thought about talking to her concerning cause and effect, and how knowing the cause might help with the effects, but I did not think that would be constructive at the moment.

"There's something I want you to know," she said a few seconds after we had both fallen silent again.

"What is that, Jessi?"

"I want you to know that I like making love to you, but I like the rough stuff too, and not just stuff that asshole did that I'm trying to fix," she informed me, a desperate look in her blue eyes. "The vibrator, and wanting you to put me against the wall, and me wanting to lick up your cum from the floor - that's all stuff I thought of to do with you. None of it's from... before."

"What about the slapping and the spitting?" I inquired. "What you said you wanted from the video, I mean."

"That's different," the blonde muttered, her eyes shifting.

"And slapping your breasts?" I continued on.

Jessi looked at me and smiled, although I noticed her cheeks turned a little pink.

"Now that is something I've liked for some time," she said, reestablishing eye contact. "As is the being tied up and stuff, at least on its own. That guy took it someplace else, but that doesn't change that it turns me on. I think that's why I let him do that shit, and why I didn't run the moment he pushed it too far."

"That does make me feel better," I advised her. "But you understand I have my limits."

"I do, Mark," she agreed, reaching up to run her hand along my cheek.

"Well, you also should know that sometimes talking about something can be arousing but actually doing it may be a problem for me, may push my limits."

"I can see that - and I'm trying to understand it," she said, her hand moving from my face to my chest. "When something gets me hot, I'm always willing to really do it. Well, almost always. That thing I talked about that one time - what we could do with another girl - I don't think I'm willing to do that. It's hard enough to share you as it is, and I'm not even there when you... you know."

"I understand, Jessi," I assured her. "I would not ask you to do that."

"So it's one of those things that gets you hot but you wouldn't do, or is it something you would do but won't because I won't?" she asked.

"It is an arousing fantasy," I replied, picking my words carefully. "I do not know if I could follow through on it, generally speaking, but I know I would not want to do so if it were something my partner did not want."

"So you would do it, or try anyway, if I was willing?" Jessi asked, as she reached down and ran her fingers along my hardening penis.

"I, um..."I said, trying to stall so I could think about my response.

"Hmmm...you seem pretty worked up from just talking about it, Mr. Warner," my blonde lover pointed out as she wrapped her hand around the thickness of my now fully erect shaft. "This is nice and hard."

"It is arousing for me, yes," I admitted. "I have, uh, thought about it since you brought it up."

"I've thought about it too," she breathed. "I've dreamed about it. I even checked with a couple of girls I know I thought might be willing."

"Oh," was all I managed to say as the young woman began stroking my erection.

What I did not tell Jessi is that I had dreamed about it as well. I did not think she would be happy that Jessika was invariably the other woman when I dreamed about it, as she often was when I consciously thought about it.

"But as much as it turns me on, it also scares me," she continued. "I don't think I could watch you fuck another woman."

"You do not have to explain it to me, Jessi," I advised her. "It is enough for me to know that it is not something you want to do."

"But I do want to do it, Mark," she moaned, and I realized that her breathing was growing as ragged as my own. "I've wanted to ever since I first started messing around with other women. I guess I wanted to before that even, but I didn't really think about it as much."

"I do not understand," I told her, shaking my head.

"I don't either," she informed me. "I can't bear the thought of seeing you with someone else, not when I already know you're with someone else, but since we talked about it, I can't get it out of my mind either. I'll think I've forgotten about it, then it'll pop up in a dream, or I'll see a hot girl I think you might like too."

Without warning her, I grabbed a fistful of Jessi's soft hair and pulled her into a hard kiss. I put every bit of arousal I was feeling into that kiss, and Jessi did the same I believe. We were both gasping when we broke apart.

"I am going to fuck you," I growled.

"Okay," Jessi agreed, "but I wanna do something first."

Jessi bent at the waist, pulling her hair from my grasp as she did so. When her face was just above my erection, which she was still stroking, she kissed the head of my penis and then slipped her lips over it. For several seconds, she sucked on the first couple of inches of my shaft as her hand flew up and down it. Then she pulled away, lay on her back, and grabbed her own ankles in order to spread herself as open as possible.

"Fuck me now," she pleaded.

I immediately moved between her legs, positioning myself before I pushed inside of her. Jessi moaned as I growled and buried myself completely in one thrust.

"Fuck yes!" she said as she let go of her ankles and wrapped her legs around my torso. "Fuck me hard, Mr. Warner."

I did as she asked, and soon both or bodies were shaking with each thrust. Jessi was evidently much more aroused than I had suspected, however, as it only took a minute or so of pounding her to make her climax.

"Oh god yes, yes, yes," she moaned as she arched her body and shuddered beneath me.

As my young lover climaxed, I felt the spasms of her tight pussy around my hard shaft. However, as amazing as that felt, I was not really close myself. I slowed down anyway, though, and gave her time to recover.

"Flip me over and fuck me doggy style," Jessi instructed me when she could speak again.

Wanting to please her, I withdrew from her and physically turned her over so she was flat on her stomach. I next took a firm hold of her hips and pulled her up so she was on her knees, her exquisite rear end in the air. This exposed her pussy, it lips now swollen, and I was able to ram myself back inside of her.

"Oh god," she groaned as I picked up speed, my hands holding her hips tightly.

"Would you fuck me like this while I licked some slut's pussy, Mr. Warner?" she asked a few second later.

I thought about saying that was not something I wanted to think about, but I did not. Instead, I said, "Yes, this is how I would fuck you. And I would take a fistful of your hair and shove your face deep into her crotch as I did it. Like this."

I grasped her hair tightly in one hand and shoved her face down against the bedding.

"Oh fuck, that's hot," she moaned. "Would you fuck her like this and shove her face in my cunt?"

"Yes," I snarled. "And I would fuck her so hard that you felt every thrust as her face was pushed up against you."

"I would be so pissed you were fucking her," Jessi shot back, "but I would love each time you pushed her face against me."

"Would you lick my cum from her pussy?" I inquired.

"Yes, yes, fuck, yes," Jessi panted.

"Would you suck my cock until it was hard, just so I could fuck her again in front of you?"

"Oh fuck, I'm cumming again!" the blonde yelled.

This time, her pussy squeezing me was too much. I leaned over so my chest was pressed against her back as I ejaculated deep inside of her, enjoying the way her pussy walls clung to my penis as it jerked with each squirt of semen. Even as I began to soften, I continued to press against her. We stayed that way for some time, our sweat mingling as our breathing calmed.

"That was incredible," Jessi murmured.

"Yes it was," I agreed, then I pulled my limp penis from her warmth and lay down on my back next to her.

Jessi lowered her pelvis so she was lying flat beside me. Then she turned onto her side and snuggled up against me, her head resting on my chest.

"I don't think either of us can deny that particular thing turns us on," she sighed.

"Fucking?" I asked, trying to sound innocent while hoping my unusual bluntness might direct her away from talking about the threesome fantasy. "No, I will never deny that fucking you turns me on."

"No Mark," she scolded me. "Us being with another girl."

"So fucking me does not turn you on?" I asked, still trying to change the subject - I had not forgotten the how Jessi had withdrawn the last time we had included a fantasy about a threesome.

"Fucking you always turns me on, Mark," she said, exasperation now evident in her voice.

"Then that is all we need to worry about," I told her as I stroked her hair.

Jessi was silent for several seconds. I am not sure what I expected from her, but I did not expect her to give up easily. However, she surprised me.

"You know, it is," she sighed.

***

I woke in the morning before my blonde lover. I slipped out of bed to visit the bathroom. When I returned, I found Jessi sitting up in bed, her hair sleep-mussed and sticking out at odd angles.

"Sorry I woke you," I told her as I climbed back into bed and lay on my back beside her.

"I'm not," she said as she climbed between my legs then moved down the bed until her breasts hung above my flaccid penis.

"What are you doing, Jessi?" I asked.

The blonde did not answer, nor did she need to do so. She pushed her breast together around my penis and began rubbing them up and down it. However, as my erection grew, it was clear that her breasts, though proportionate to her frame and beautifully shaped, were not ideal for the endeavor at hand. Still, it felt very nice, and the visual of Jessi trying to push enough together to engulf my penis was amazing.

"Well that's not quite working," she sighed.

"It feels great," I assured her.

"It feels nice for me too," she told me, "but I want you in me now. Can I ride your cock?"

"Oh yes," I moaned. "You do not need to even ask."

The blonde crawled forward, dragging her breast up my torso until they were pressed against me just below my chest. Kissing my neck, Jessi reached behind her, grabbed my penis, and positioned it between her labia. Then slowly, exquisitely, Jessi slid down my length, her tight pussy gripping me as she did so.

"I love it this way," she breathed when I was all the way inside of her. "I love the feel of it so deep in me, and I love being able to control it and give you pleasure."

"I love it to, Jessi," I told her. "It feels fantastic, and it gives me great opportunity to play with your perfect boobs."

To emphasize my point, I reached up to her hanging breasts and squeezed both of them before I began playing with her hard nipples. Jessi sighed and arched her back, giving me better access to her breasts, even as she began to rock forward and back on my rigid shaft. However, there was an odd look in her eyes, one I could not read.

"They're too small," she complained, surprising me; I had never heard her say anything negative about her body before. With all the issues Jessi had, I had not thought body issues were among them.

"They are fantastic," I told her. "I love them."

"But you like big tits," she said, her eyes boring into me in that disconcerting way of hers (the first such stare I had experienced during this encounter).

"Why do you think that?" I moaned - Jessi, despite our conversation, had picked up speed, and the feel of her tight pussy clinging to my hard penis was brining me along quite quickly.

"Your other lover," she moaned. "Big Tits."

"Let's not do this," I suggested, but neither Jessi nor my mind listened.

A vision of Jessika's large, firm breasts covered in my semen, with Jessi licking them clean, filled my mind, while in real life, the blonde asked me, "If we brought in another slut, would you want her to have big tits?"

"No," I answered.

"So you'd want her to have small tits?" she countered.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I mean it doesn't matter."

"So any size is okay?" she asked, even as she pushed herself up so she was sitting astride my hips, my penis even deeper inside her.

"No - I mean I does not matter because it is not something we are going to do."

Jessi stared down at me intensely until I closed my eyes. Even then, I felt that stare burning through me.

"We both want it, Mark," she stated calmly, just before she began to bounce up and down my pole.

"Jessi, please stop," I said, opening my eyes to look at her.

"Stop fucking you or stop talking about something we obviously both want to do?" she snapped.

I was trying to respond, but I found it hard to form a coherent sentence. The sensations from my lover moving up and down my shaft were too intense.

"I do not want it," I managed to get out. "It would hurt you."

With a loud moan, Jessi let herself drop down against my groin. As she sat there, I felt her vagina clamp down around me, and I felt the shudders of her body through it.