All Comments on 'A Tale of Two Sisters'

Your story seems rushed and at the same time flat. Try to make things flow more than being so succinct. How you build up your characters and give their history can greatly influence your readers, and here, I felt like I was being given a quick history lesson by someone who was only there to get the facts and nothing more.

Keep writing, get one of the editors to look over your story and follow their advice, and you will develop a writing style and technique that will be easy to read and easy to please.

In spite of what the previous commenter says the story is good and very readable. Though this may be your first time and there may be some room for improvement the story is both readable and enjoyable. If you wish to improve the work my only advice is to read over the "how to" sections, take what is said with a small Mine of Salt, and find an editor that you can trust and who will understand your vision.

Also, if this is a factual account, which few are, but one never knows, you should immediately go apologize to your sister, she did tell you no one could know after all. If you can convince her that this erotic journaling is good however, adding her insights to the stories could improve them greatly.

Sometimes a fun, quick story is just as nice as a long one. I love lesbian incest and I applaud your effort.

I don't know about others' reading preferences, but I read erotica for the characters and story. The actual sex act is basically the same in any given story, and thus doesn't serve well (for me) as the climax. Particularly for incest stories, which are sexy precisely because of who the characters are - as opposed to what they're doing - I'd much rather hear about the choices that lead up to the sex, and the consequences thereof, than about the 5 different positions and 3 different toys the characters used. Maybe that's just me.

Thank you to all of you who commented. This was my first submission so I am wanting to hear positive and negative feedback both. I have really taken a liking to writing erotica, and would love to know where I am doing well and where I need to improve. Please don't feel like you need to hold back because it is my first submission either. I want to hear what you have to say.