by mickyg85
Kids can't keep secrets, so keep the tale between the teenager and his usage of his slave.
Always refreshing to see a new author take on the mantle of this genre. Please continue...........
why write if you're not gonna be original?
Whether you started or were inspired by another's story doesn't bother me much (though citing inspiration is necessary). You can now take things in a more divergent path from the original. My encouragement would be to take it slow and remain somewhat realistic. Don't jump straight to gangbangs in the cafeteria, exposing herself to students or master/slave stuff in the first week. Draw out the humiliations and remember the threat of exposure is the goal, not actual exposure.
Will hold off on rating until see more.
I loved this story and hope you add to it soon, I had to rub my clit until I had the wildest orgasm I have had in years.
she is slipping slowly into the hole of the submission, and will not be able to do without in life, she is ready for the last big jump ... become the slave of a dog
The build up was excellent, but David finding out and then abusing her was way too far, far too soon. It felt mean more than anything
The kid should have been banging her instead of his hand. Doing the stupid public shit is how to get caught. Good to a point but could have been much better.
I agree with the person who title their comment "take it slow"
You have the start of a really great story. I really hope you write more and don't make people wait for ever for it.
Neither original nor well-written. There are hundreds of "stories" (doesn't really deserve that term, but I can't come up with something fitting just now) like this out there. Good for a quick jerk-off, but not worth coming back to.
You Can Be Highly Educated
And still be as dumb as a box of rocks. Giving in to blackmail, especially when it would be so easy to prove who is doing it is always going to be a bad decision. Then there is the fact that this was poorly written and there is absolutely nothing original is this chapter so there's no reason to think there will be anything in the next one either.
GREAT idea but so exceptionally non-consent spoiled the story. She would have done it if you could have shown any tenderness - your just a vindictive author - please rewrite but lighten up