All Comments on 'A Thankful Blizzard Pt. 01'

nice set up. please continue!!

Good beginning, I do want to see more. The only thing I noticed is they went from having omelets to pancakes lol.

You wrote just enough to get me really interested in it. Bring on next installments.

Thanks for sharing.

am looking forward to chapter 2

A lot less self deprecation from Paul about how geeky and weird he is, a lot less wondering bewilderment at Katherine's finding him interesting, and you'll have a good story here. After all, if Paul's working on his doctorate, he's 23 - 25 YO (you haven't said he's a genius who entered college at 16) so he's got to have some experience under his belt - or slightly south of it - keep it believable!

I disagree with anonymous that you need to give Paul more self esteem. The story and characters you have set up lead us to believe that Kat will help him with that self esteem as she genuinely appreciates his many fine qualities....and perhaps makes him a man. You open up many possibilities for where this story can go. Will they face Kat's rival family? Will Kat's family continue to remind her that she is the only heir to continue the family business? Will Paul save the day? I'm guessing you were just hungry for pancakes and you forgot about the omelet. If that's all the critique that person has, no worries! Even if this story does not work out, you certainly know how to develop characters and a story line, which is much more than many others. Keep writing, because you are most definitely a writer.

Can't wait for next chapters!!!

I wanted to thank everyone who has left comments/feedback! It's nice to have input beyond my editor (a friend) and catch inconsistencies or any misdirection I may have taken.

First, thank you for catching the breakfast slip - I meant to indicate they got pancakes with the omelets, as a side.

Second, I'm enjoying the direction Paul and Kat are taking me, with the incoming storm. I am hoping to have part 2 finished by Friday 16th, but I am not sure how long it takes to post.

Last, if anyone is worried about Paul and his development - just wait. ;)

Rex

Thanks, hope you will publish the next chapter soon

Hope there are no nasty surprises just happy ever after!!!!!

I apologize for the short length of this section. I hadn't realized how big lit pages were. Expect around 4-5 for the next part, already about halfway done as of 5pm gmt-5, 5/15/14.

Rex

Gave it a 5! Look forward to the next chapter.

...I'm looking forward to similarly-nice payoff in future chapters!

You must have been thinking about writing this for awhile, it is well written and interesting. I agree with anonymous below in that I hope that this story has a happy ending. Can't wait for your followup!

Flowed and is wondeful

Great Beginning. Looking forward to more

Great story so far. Please keep it coming. Tks.

Looking forward to more.

I like the way you are developing the characters, not just jumping into bed with them. Disregard Anony Mouse, who can't even give his name to his deprecations. Very few 25 year olds working on a PhD are going to be very experienced sexually. He obviously, and as his interactions show, is engrossed in his studies. I think you have a potential winner here, with just a few fits and starts that are common for new writers. Only experience will correct them, and you only get experience by writing.

Focus on telling YOUR story, not what your readers think they are looking for. If it is good they will stay with you, but if you try to cater to them you will lose your connection to the tale and it will show. Make them wait for the good stuff, but leave enough along the way to keep them enticed and interested. I think it was Mae West who said, "Always leave them wanting more." If i wasn't so lazy I would look it up.

If you are looking for 5-6 pages on LitE you will want at least 20,000 words. Hope that helps you gauge things.

As to the pancakes/omelet flap, anyone who has spent any time on the road and has eaten in diners/truckstops knows with omelets one gets pancakes or toast, and most often pancakes are the given. I, who have eaten in way to many diners/truckstops knew exactly where you were going.

Nice job. I'll be looking for your next installment.

I'm pleased to let everyone know I've written my second part, much longer than this first part. I am doing a last proofreading, then I'll submit it before I go to bed.

Rex

I looked but did not see the next part you were talking about

Good things come to those who wait.

Not sure how long it takes to actually post after user submission... But 1st chapter was at least a couple days, I believe.

Good start, looking forward to part 2

You have set the scene nicely.

I second all the comments and observations Callicious made.

Looking forward to further instalments!

By the way, thanks for putting so much of your personal background into the Biography tag. I am sorry to learn of your workplace injury, and even more sympathetic about the legal and medical complications. If your writing helps you cope with the pain, I'm, all the happier to follow your career here on Literotica. I admire the writers, like you, who put the emphasis at least as much on the Literate part as on the Erotica. Blessings on you and yours!

It is rare to read such a well written and believable story. The story line is realistic unlike the Wham Bam thank you mam junk we so often get. Cant wait to read the second installment.

Thanks for a great story and the entertainment that comes with it.

I look forward to reading more of your submissions.

'Pon my word, you're writing an excellent story! I really like how its developing! Hope to read the next part soon! :)

I've just found your story! Thanks! Refreshing is insufficient! Looking forwards to readying the rest of the chapters. Cheers!

Wow, first bit and I'm already hooked. What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good romance, and so far this is on track to be an epic romance it would appear.

One of the best on here,pity I can only give the story 5 stars...Jay.

18"-24" of snow does not equal 3'-6' and ordering the best omelets and having pancakes brought to the table does not make your details very consistent. I agree the story line is good but just a little editing would help.

"18" - 24" of snow before the end of the day, with another 2' - 4' expected tomorrow."

"They're expecting anywhere from 3' - 6' of snow in the next two days."

He just added the snowfall frow the two days together. I guess he could have been more accurate and said 3.5 to 6 feet, but 3 to 6 is fine.

I find it ironic that Paul knows so much about snowflakes, their makeup, and even how many atoms they contain, yet didn't have enough sense to check the weather forecast, in the mountains, in the winter, before starting his journey. OK, so he's a snow geek, and not inclined to common sensible things. I'll give him a pass this time, because I am really enjoying this story.

or

short introduction

what is here shows potential

Still gave you five stars because the writing is good and the story is engaging. Oh, I took a lot of chemistry courses, and no one would be thrilled to talk about water at length. No one. Electrophilic substitution? Friedel-Crafts alkylation? Stereo isomers? Maybe. But only if you were very, very unlucky.

You write very well but you should know that a "small college" almost never can offer doctoral degrees. Yale and Harvard are pretty small in terms of undergrads, but I don't know of a single small college anywhere in the Rocky Mountain states that offers doctorates. That is what historically separated a college from a university.

It looks like it's going to be a sweet one. Ignore the dings about kidnapping and digs about his explaining water. Adam's a nerd! I'm sure he really grabbed her attention just by dropped the term "hydrogen bonding" ! Looking fwd for reading the next chapters. J.

I'm so grateful that I stumbled on this one after reading your other work. You're such a talent!

Enjoying the start, looking forward to the next part.