All Comments on 'A Tiny Slip Ch. 04'

MORE Please

Do Not Stop Now Keep Going With Don's and his Teams Life's

Great Story. Your story development is really interesting.

Besides He must break down the other gang's. 5+ Stars *********

K

What the f**k! If this is a twist, it's a really well done one, if it's not then I wonder where the stories will go from here, awesome, awesome series of stories all the way from Todd and Melina up to this one. Keep it up!

Firstly, thank you for spending so much time with this series of stories. I have read and enjoyed them all, start to finish. Many hours well invested.

The sugar having been delivered, now for the vinegar. Your last twist just doesn't measure up to the standard. The writers of Dallas tried hard to bring back J.R. and failed. You easily surpassed that poor effort. Please keep trying but go back to the last episode of Newhart and see how a master does it. Many have tried, but all failed. By failing to match Bob Newhart, you have simply set a high goal for yourself, no shame in that.

Keep trying and I'll read it.

Thanks again.

Henry

nice

Which is the "dream" and which is the "dream"? !!! What is the next twist that will be thrown at us?!

Thanks for the kind comments. No one ever publicly nor in private messages ever mentioned the main cluuuuues (a.k.a. the Easter eggs) to the Consultant.

As to the ending twist, I was worried that everyone would hate it, but it seems to be going over okay. The next story has been submitted, and hopefully will be up in a couple of days.

A wonderful series, the twist at the end was unexpected (but I suppose I should have suspected something like this, lol), I've read everything you've written so far, reread much of it to be sure I had things straight. I'm very pleased that another story is already on the way. Thanks for all your time and effort putting this together, it has been a pleasure to read.

Ok, I won't lie, after the roller coaster you put us through, I am totally speechless. I would like to thank you for being such an inspiration. I can't wait for what happens next. Just want to say thank you and I'm looking forward to your next work WifeWatchman. As awesome as always I'll say.

I'm afraid I object to the ending twist, because it invalidates the value of the entire extended stories-upon-story preceding it.

Also, it seems like a cheap trick, and that is more than a tad beneath you.

However, if you've got yet another twist up your sleeve, like this extended stories-upon-story was a prescient dream that will allow Don to take down the consultant much more easily and quickly in real life - while saving all those who would have been lost along the way this 2nd time 'round....well that I might buy into. But, how many of your previous stories are you going to re-write allowing Don to change the prescient dreams' outcomes for the better (some of which, like Angela Harlan living, could complicate things considerably)?

...Or, will he just save his marriage to Melina - or take the CIA job the "2nd" time 'round?

Of course, if you got something else entirely up your sleeve, Mr. Holmes, I'm all ears (well, eyes).

:-)

I enjoyed this chapter, since it

answered many questions I had.

But that last twist...

Come On! A dream sequence?

Not Laura, but Melina?

That's an awful big lump

to swallow for this reader.

I grew attached to many of these

characters.

I m an avid fan of yours but last twist was a bit too much.

It had been clear through the course of series that Laura is a more worthy partner of Don than that Melina.....

Give us more stories but less of this meaningless twists.....

Do Laura, Todd and the other characters even exist?

Are Don's marriage to Melina, his own backstory or his good and evil family members anything like what they were in the stories?

Is there even any such place as "Town and County?"

I agree with GrandPaM.... I don't think I like the ending twist. I'll withhold my final judgement until the next stories come out and we see where this is going.. but to find that the last 'several years' were nothing but a dream just doesn't sit well with me... It would be disappointing, for me at least, because I really enjoy the stories, and this twist would diminish my overall feeling of the story. Just my .02... :)

Very long series. Well done but remember this is literotica, ya gotta put the zing back into the stories. Melina is the ultimate sex goddess and you gotta involve her with her promiscuity ways back into the fold. Perhaps a story with her, Todd, and the Sheriff is in order. Don can watch, as he is a wife watcher. He can then join in the finale!

On the twist, all I can say is to have patience and just enjoy the next series. :o)

As to sex in the stories: some stories are erotic and sexual, others not so much. I'm trying to get through this last sequence of stories, and they are what they are. Future stories will have more eroticism.

However: to the *anonymous* (meaning afraid to show his/her face or name here) person who keeps whining about non erotic stories: if you do not like my stories, do not read them. There are tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of stories that are pure sex on this site; knock yourself out reading them. Your comments are NOT constructive, and I'm going to start deleting them. See ya.

Thank you WW for your comment. I was lost on the ending. Not sure what to make of it! Then remembered something. When Don is totally tired and exhausted he usually goes into a deep dream state. Sometimes he figures things out and other times people visit him, like Angela Harlan. Checking on the next series title "Dream Weaver" this could go either way. So, as suggested, have patience and enjoy the next series. I will do that. I envy your writing ability. Not one of my attributes.

PS: Had to do Anonymous again been having computer hickups and trouble.

wildlady63

Have to admit that I have some concerns with the final twist in this story... If you intend to do a Dallas/Bobby Ewing dream thingy here, I may have to abandon your work. I'm hoping that this is some sort of dream that Don is having caused by his sensitivity to the suffering of Melina due to her 'beatdown'. Just be sure it doesn't last too long and ruin the series.

Other than that, I have enjoyed the format of your stories and I have always liked good mystery writing. Thank you for your efforts to keep us all entertained ! ! ! ! !

Loved the series to date but found the current ending truly unsatisfying. What about Woodward and Lewis and the other corrupt folks. Time to take them down and forget about the last 6 sentences in A Tiny slip #4. Sorry, but you should have kept going to take down the rest.

they are like seeds and spring up all over again, TK U MLJ LV NV

up til now.. That took a lot. It was entertaining and was well written. It took a lot to dream up this shit too! Thanks for the time we spent together here in your stories. It was fun and I enjoyed the ride. I hope you're not done but whatever you do next, this was fun. Scotty / slowrdr@aol.com

How could anyone figured them out? You kept all the information about them to yourself until this story. I do not understand how how you expected us to follow when information that would have made us go...aha....was not provided.

Point...the Jack Burke tapes secreted away in the apartment? How did that relate to telling us or leading us to Pastor Westboro? In that story I do not remember any hint that would suggest he was the consultant.

It is like rou provided the walkway but then removed part of the walkway forcing us to take a detour to continue down the path.

Also, please do not butcher scripture. Jesus did not ask Judas to betray Him. The bible was not written by the Cathloic church. Scripture was mostly written by apostles and inspired by God.

"It was only a dream" never works. End the series, get new characters, and start fresh with the next story. I don't know of ANYONE who has been successful with "multiple realities" and didn't inform the reader/viewer of such early in the story.

I looked ahead at the first page of "Dream Weaver" to see that Don, Melinda, Jack, Ivy, and Laura are characters will be continuing characters.

1. I can't trust ANYTHING from this point forward.

ALL I've learned from the dozens of Crowbar stories up to this point is probably wrong. "It was only a dream, and isn't really true" can invalidate anything. Any clue might be false; any motive may be incorrect.

2. All your development of the ongoing characters must be discarded. You're throwing away a heck of a lot, and betraying the readers who have created love/hate relationships with them. All their motives, interrelationships, life shaping events may now happen differently.

Like the Martin Slut Ray suddenly making a woman act irrationally for no reason, the "woke up" plot device causes irrational (relative to canon) changes to people, places, and thing. Readers REALLY don't like undiagnosable changes to reality, and ESPECIALLY don't like changes to canon.

3. Give them all new names and change the locales. Write their story again, and let it stand on its own in its own reality. Canon is canon for a reason, and changing it makes it no longer canon.

Many authors have had an idea for characters and context, then wrote very different stories which start the same and then go different ways. Your error is trying to paste those different stories together. It never works for the reader.

4. You have a fork in history. It isn't the at "then I woke up"/Dream Weaver transition. It's when he married Melinda (if not before). You're lying to the reader by presenting Dream Weaver as a continuation.

Readers want to see Don keep going and finish cleaning up the politicians and SBI. You're certainly not obligated to write that story. But if you don't continue that plot, then don't falsely advertise following stories as part of the series.

TL; DR: Start a new series with DW, and tell the reader there is no connection. Continue the old series if readers want.

Now what is that about, his wife Melina? OMG, I hope that's a historic reminisce otherwise I don't have any idea why you've brought this in as Meina is supposed to be very happily married and in love with Daniel.

Superb story front beginning to end keeping the reader riveted to it. I don't know how you're going to maintain my interest from now on.

Melina -:now where has that come from and where is it taking us?

Suberb story front beginning to end

I came here to right well done on this great epic. Truly fantastic saga. Then you took a page from Bob Newhart at the end here, and I am really hoping that it's a joke or some nefarious plot and you're not undoing everything that's happened up til now. I guess I'll find out when I read the next story