A Totally Unromantic Love Story

The three other people in the booth looked poleaxed.

I was flustered, but I had enough cool to say, "Mom and Dad, I want to introduce my friend Maddie."

She smiled politely at my parents and went back to playing with Billy.

She was absolutely wonderful with children. She had told me that she was like that. But I didn't believe her. I was thinking, "Okay, I can see that she is smart enough to be a lawyer. I witnessed the slut part, even if she is WAY too beautiful to be used like that. But where did the motherly thing come from?"

Billy looked like he wanted to go home with her. My son was clearly a lot quicker on the uptake than his old man. That was at the ripe old age of three. Of course Billy didn't have his old man's long track record of dismal failure to color his perceptions.

My parents obviously wanted to know where this vision of loveliness had come from and what pictures I had to blackmail her into being with me. After what I had witnessed last night I could have produced a few. But I didn't get the impression that she was with me for any OTHER reason than the fact that she WANTED to be there.

And she loved my child.

I said as diplomatically as I could, "Maddie and I met at a party last night and we were thinking of taking Billy down to the DC Zoo to see the Pandas."

Maddie added, talking strictly to Billy, "Do you want to see the funny little bears?"

Billy knows what bears are. He lit up like a searchlight.

My mother looked at me with skepticism. It was like, "where did you find this wonderful woman and how much are you paying her to be with you?"

I had enough presence of mind to NOT tell her that I had run into her last night while she was pulling a train of guys. Maddie's paradoxes were driving me out of my mind. I had to find out who she REALLY was.

So I said, "We have to go. Thank you for watching him" and began to get out of the booth.

Both parents said, "NO, we want to get to know your new friend better." Maddie favored them with a serene smile. I thought. "Oh my God she's going to tell them!"

Maddie said, "Bill and I met at a party last night and we hit it off right away. I was hoping we could spend some time getting to know each other today. He is SO deep and interesting."

I had two thoughts. The first one was, "There IS a God!" The second was, "And mine has an incredible sense of irony."

The very last word I would use to describe myself is "interesting". I might go with "deep" since I am just as shy as my little boy. And I am not glib. People sometimes mistake my silence for profundity; instead of what it really is which is tongue-tied.

I tried to give everybody a thoughtful look. I said, as self-effacingly as I could, "Maddie really doesn't know me very well." I could have said the same vice-versa for her. She clearly had a screw loose up there somewhere.

My dad said, "So where do you live and what do you do?"

Maddie said, "I graduated from Harvard and went on to Harvard Law. I have been a lawyer with the FDA for the past six years. I specialize in compliance litigation although I sometimes handle product lawsuits.

"I live in Chevy Chase. But that is because my daddy set me up with a very adequate trust. I couldn't afford to live where I do on my salary as a government lawyer."

My dad said with incredulity dripping off of every word, "So how did you meet Bill? He is some kind of stay-at-home geek."

My parents both nodded sympathetically, like they felt sorry for anybody who was as deluded as Maddie must be.

My dad owned a hardware store. He would never understand that a pen-tester was a very well-paid covert professional. A lot of my work was for the alphabet agencies under the Director of National Intelligence. But I also do things for the military and the State Department. And I am on the speed dial of most of the CISOs at the big banks.

Maddie said, "I met him last night. I came with some of the guys from my golf club. They left me there and Bill offered to take me home. He is a true gentleman."

I was incredulous. The guys she had fucked were in a golf club with her??!!

I know enough about guys to understand why they would dump HER. It is a matter of respect for the woman. But I was wondering what was going through Maddie's mind.

I really didn't want to sit around and be insulted any longer. I could embarrass myself on my own, without help from my parents. And I had to get away and think about this a bit.

So I said, "It's a long drive down to Rock Creek and Billy will need a nap so we had better get going."

Maddie scooped Billy up like a veteran mother and we said our good-byes. We walked back to my car with Maddie carrying Billy on her hip. He was babbling away to her about bears.

She actually looked like she was listening. She buckled him in his car seat. I thought, "She has done this before, a lot!" And then she slid in next to me.

Her face was blissful. I said, "You weren't kidding. You really like kids."

She said, "I LOVE kids. I want a dozen of them."

That looked like an opening. I said, "I never asked. Is there somebody special in your life to have them with?"

She said, "Maybe; YOU" and she favored me with a loving glance.

I had never seen a look like that from a woman in my life. It was the sort of fond, secret smile that a wife might give a husband when she was suggesting something momentous. It appeared to be genuine affection.

That concept rattled around in my skull like a 22 caliber bullet.

I spluttered, "How can you say that? We don't even know each other." I refrained from adding, "And why would you think I would have kids with a slut like you?"

I was in a real quandary. If I had met this woman under any other circumstance I would have already fallen head-over-heels in love with her. She radiated happiness. She was smart, witty, alive, energetic, caring and nurturing to my child. Plus she was absolutely gorgeous.

Even more astonishingly, she seemed to have imprinted on me in some kind of peculiar baby duck fashion.

At this point most women, even the homely ones, are checking their watch. Instead, this girl was talking about having my kids. And even worse, I had never felt more comfortable with another human being in my life.

The fact that neither of us had slept for the past 24 hours simply didn't register on me. It was like we had been married forever and we were out for a Saturday afternoon with our boy.

Even more bewildering, Maddie was so beautiful she could easily attract better guys.

I am one of those kinds of people who live by the old Groucho Marx line, "I don't want to be a member of a club that would accept ME as a member." Yet this woman was going out of her way to be with me.

I felt like that damn elephant was now ramming his tusk up my ass.

I wanted to change the subject. I said conversationally, "Where did you get your obvious skill with children?"

She said, "We're Irish Catholics. I'm the oldest girl of seven children. My parents both worked long hours and I had most of the childcare duties growing up. I loved it."

I added cagily, "Didn't you miss out on all of the fun in your teenage years?"

I know I'm stupid. I didn't seriously expect her to admit that she had been trying to catch up on all of the fun that she had missed by doing guys in bulk now.

She said, "Oh no! I really enjoyed nurturing my little brothers and sisters, watching them develop and learn. It was a real pleasure experiencing life through their fresh young eyes."

Okay, so she actually WAS Mother Theresa.

I gave up. There was no way I was going to learn anything about her motivations using THAT approach. I tried another tack, "So you play golf? Are you any good at it?" I admit, that might have been a little transparent but I am anything but subtle.

She said, "Oh yes, I am in two different leagues. I played it inter-collegiately when I was at Harvard." She looked thrilled that I had asked.

Things were going so well that I didn't have the heart to inquire which foursome she had been banging last night.

I had to cut to the chase. I said, "So what brought you to the party? Do you know Ed Wilson?"

Ed was last night's host. I know him because we have literally done time together. That was for some teenage hacking exploits. It was just a few days in County and our record was expunged after a couple of years.

Our paths diverged at that point. I commercialized my skills and Ed got into selling weed. Fifteen years later he was still way ahead of me financially, but my profession had more of a long-term up-side.

She said puzzled, "No who's he?"

I said, "He was the one who threw the party. Who did you come with?"

She said, "I came with Charlie Schneider. He and I work together at the FDA." I almost said out loud, "Annnnnnd?"

She smacked herself on the forehead and said, "Oh yes! I know who he is now! How do you know him? Charlie told me that he provides most of the marijuana for the Federal Government. Or at least he does for the areas I work in."

I knew it was an innocent question. But I was seriously on the defensive. I decided that my heavy handed probes about her attitudes toward sex could wait for a more opportune time.

We were crossing the Klingle Valley Bridge. I said, in order to change the subject, "Look Billy, There's the zoo!"

Billy was making excited noises as we pulled off of Connecticut and into the zoo parking lot. Maddie got him out of his car seat and carried him on her hip all the way to the entrance, where we rented a stroller.

She had magnificent round hips, which went along perfectly with her truly superb butt. There wasn't a male anywhere who hadn't noticed what was tightly encased in her jeans.

The way she was interacting with Billy and me; any stranger looking at us would have just assumed that we were a young married couple out for an afternoon at the zoo. It was an absolutely marvelous day.

She made Billy the happiest little boy in the world. I was not far behind. She had a million cute little observations about the animals. She perfectly balanced her attention to both of us.

Since I love Billy with all of my heart, her care for him was getting all mixed up in my mind. She was so tender and loving with him that it was hard for ME not to fall in love with her. That seemed like a very bad idea, knowing what I knew.

Nonetheless, if there was ever a more ideal partner anywhere, I didn't know where I would find her. I reasoned to myself, "It doesn't matter how potentially slutty she is in her spare time. What matters is how she makes us feel when we are together."

Of course I was also aware that a woman who would so casually and expertly fuck five strange men would no doubt break my heart if I let her in.

I wanted to ask her if her work mate Charlie was one of the guys she had fucked. I wanted to know how the whole gang-bang thing had gotten started. And I REALLY wanted to know what had motivated her to do something like that. She was just BETTER than that.

Unfortunately, none of that was forthcoming. It was like she ended every date by pulling a train of guys; like a peck on the cheek at the door.

I didn't think it was a submissive, or self-concept problem. She was an utterly solid human being, decisive and upbeat. It was like sport sex was one of the many things that she was good at.

I thought, "Maybe that's the explanation and we can go forward from there!" At which point my little voice snickered with contempt and said, "You really ARE a weenie aren't you?"

I decided to let all thoughts about my new friend's proclivities go and just enjoy our brief time together. It would probably be the one day that I would have with her.

She looked sad when we got back to her place. She said tentatively, "Would you two like to come up? I have some things that Billy might like and there are a lot of children's videos he can watch."

I said regretfully, "No, he is getting tired and he has to sleep in his own room."

Then I blurted out impulsively, "This has been one of the best days of my life." I couldn't help myself. It HAD been.

She looked hesitant, like she had been thinking about something for a long time. Then she said with apprehension in her voice, "I can come over to your place if you give me a second to collect some things. Tomorrow is Sunday. I can spend the whole day with you two if you would like."

Easy choice, I knew I would most definitely "like".

I said, "I would love to have you over but I haven't slept in 30 hours so it would just be to sleep."

Billy was making eager noises in the back of the car. He said, "Can mommy sleep over with us."

His confusion about who Maddie actually was provided a miserable commentary on his ACTUAL mother's role in his life.

The last thing I wanted to do was dig myself in even deeper with this woman. She was getting seriously under my skin and into my heart. And frankly I suspected everything about the circumstances and her motives.

But looking at the two eager faces in front of me I could only say, "Maddie can stay with us if she wants to." They both just glowed with happiness.

I have a nice place. It is nowhere near as luxurious as Maddie's but it is decent sized. The downstairs is what is called "open plan" meaning there are no walls between the front door and the patio doors. I have a little bathroom downstairs and two bedrooms and a full bath upstairs. Little Seneca Lake is right off the patio deck and I have a 22 foot pontoon boat and a Sunfish on the hoist of the dock at the foot of my lawn. She was delighted.

Billy had his own room appropriately decorated. It is sort of a proto-guycave for a three year old macho-man. She carried him upstairs and we stood there as he got into his jammies, brushed his teeth and climbed into bed.

She kissed him tenderly on his forehead. He said in his sweet little boy voice, "Good night mommy.' I looked at her. Her eyes were filled with tears. I thought, "Fuck it! I don't care how many gang-bangs she's participated in. This woman is the real deal!"

We went back downstairs. She looked radiant. I said, "Would you like a drink."

She said, "No, I am very sleepy. Can we go to bed?"

I said, "Absolutely! Why don't you sleep up there and I will bunk on the couch."

She looked at me like I was an idiot.

She said, "No silly, I want to sleep with YOU."

I said, "We are only sleeping, right?"

She re-affirmed, "Only sleeping, TONIGHT."

I was back to worrying about STDs. My little voice laughed at me. It said, "Okay, so you are about to plug into the sexual history of at least five AKC pedigreed cockhounds. But they have antibiotics for most of those diseases and if you die of AIDs it will be worth it."

We went upstairs. I sleep in my boxers so I dropped my jeans and shirt and climbed in. She came out of the bathroom in a linen number that ended about three-quarters of an inch below her butt cheeks.

She had long muscular legs, which seemed to go on for 90 feet or so. They were incredible. I already knew what they looked like from last night. But it is sort of like listening to the opening notes of Beethoven's Ninth. It still moves you every time you experience it.

The nightgown was frilly and white and it looked modest, even though there was nothing under it but an extremely hot woman's body. I marveled.

She said, "You like?"

I wanted to play it cool. I didn't say anything but the puddle of drool on my chest probably gave me away.

I have a big bed. Linda was a light sleeper. She tossed and turned all night like a boated tuna fish. So the money that I spent to create the maximum space between us was worth it. That is, if I wanted to sleep.

Maddie snuggled into the bed and scooted over next to me. In that respect, most of the rest of the bed was unoccupied.

We were lying on our backs, shoulders touching. She said tentatively, "Good night." I could sense that she was nervous.

I rolled impulsively over on one side and kissed her tenderly in the lips. She gave a little gasp and then utterly opened herself to me. It was nothing but a goodnight kiss and it was perfectly innocent and tender. Nonetheless, it was a complete giving of herself.

The kiss itself didn't convey the slightest hint of wantonness. But when she kissed me she was totally and completely "there" in the moment. It left me with the sense that there was no other person in her world at that point except me. It was like she was reaffirming a bond.

The loving, intimate kiss was disturbing. It upset me for two reasons. First, I had just met her 24 hours earlier. And that was in circumstances that could be diplomatically described as "unromantic".

I was not sure how getting close to a beautiful and accomplished woman who pulls trains for sport could possibly be good for me.

Even worse the intimacy and sheer affection in her lips were pulling me into a scary dark place. I was beginning to feel far too comfortable and close to this woman. That was a dangerous situation to be in. Since all of the evidence pointed toward potential emotional disaster up the road.

I snapped off the light with those thoughts in mind.

Then it was morning.

I could hear my little boy just starting to stir in his room. Maddie was almost completely draped on top of me. She had one arm thrown across my body, one huge soft tit pressed into my chest, her tousled head was resting under my chin and one leg was thrown over mine.

For such a voluptuous woman, she was light as a feather. I was speculating, "Maybe she has hollow bones like a bird?"

She was making rhythmic little sighs as she slept. I eased gently out from underneath her. She stirred and went back to sleep lying on her back. She looked like Snow White waiting for her Prince.

I leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. She awoke like a cat. The instant her eyes blinked open she was completely aware of her surroundings.

I was standing there mostly dressed. I said "Good morning sleepyhead. I need to get my son. Take your time and I will have breakfast for us."

That thought energized her. She said decisively, "Let's get him together." She bounded out of bed. Her nightgown had ridden up as she slept and the flash of gorgeous leg, shaven pussy and tight muscular flanks gave me other ideas. It showed.

She whacked me and pulled a Ralph Lauren robe on that looked pure cashmere. She said laughingly, "LATER", and we went in together to get the kid.

Billy was standing up in his new "big-boy" bed. He said with absolute delight in his voice, "Mommy, you didn't go away!" And he threw himself into her arms.

She hugged him kissing his head. She murmured to him over-and-over, "I will NEVER leave you my little boy."

It was touching evidence of Billy's personal anguish. Billy needed a mommy. It was utterly pathetic. I looked at Maddie. She could see the hurt in my eyes. I could see something very disquieting in hers.

She was looking at Billy and me with the same kind of stalwart commitment that a woman would have for her family.

At that moment, she was the most important person in Billy's life. It was as if she had always been Billy's mother and my loving wife. She wasn't of course. And that was problematic.

This would have been one of those Kodak moments. That is; if I had dated her in high-school, married her in college and made this wonderful child with her. Then I would know that I could trust her to not betray us. But that wasn't the reality.

Up to this point, she had been an absolutely reliable, praiseworthy friend and companion and a loving and nurturing care giver for my son. She was the feminine element. She was cherishing and reassuring. She was the rock that our family's happiness was founded on. We both needed her.