All Comments on 'A Twist of Destiny Bk. 01'

Before anyone complains about the physiological impossibilities contained in this story I would like to plainly state the following: I KNOW. This was a work of fantastical fiction and is meant to entertain only- kind of like how many things in anime art is impossible, this story should be enjoyed in the same manner.

First of all, the other anon twat needs to shut the fuck up...

Second, this was a REALLY good story, I literally read it from "cover to cover" and im going to say, I 97% enjoyed it, and have booked marked it for future "reading" (read: stuff...)

Third, and forgive me, but there where a few things you seemed to have "missed" or "implied" things only to go back on, first I noticed the "hair" thing, first your completely void of hair, then after the test you seem to have a full head of hair that she trys to only cut one strand with, then, your completely bald again for going back into the past to talk to yourself (its a mind bender, but I definitely caught the mistake here, especially when you described him looking at his future self still hairless). Second in the story is the ""Like turning yourself into a hermaphrodite," comment, looking back you described him having both a penis and a clit in the first encounter, if you do any looking into the root of the word, its where the DNA beforehand would have turned the clit into a penis when genetics get involved, what you described since he had both, was not a hermaphrodite, but a shemale, or transvestite, which is really disappointing because for myself personally, I like reading "Hentai" (basically Comic porn, look it up if interested) of the "Futanari" influence (basically hermaphrodite), where the females clit in one way or another (birth, magic, manipulation) would be a penis and properly classify her as a hermaphrodite and not a shemale/transvestite (you really should look up each term and really read into them)

Needless to say, despite my only 2 gripes about this story, it was very erotic and I definitely look forward to a Ch2, ALSO please ignore stupid fucks who are only looking to get off in the 10sec or less it takes their premature ejaculating ass's to finish... the longer, the more detailed, the BETTER

Thanks for this well written and hot story. It was a pleasure to read this epic tale. 5 star vote. Hope to read more father/daughter stories.

This read is pretty amazing, couldn't stop reading until I finished it. Even without the incest angle it is a fantastic well written story. I can't wait for part2 or 3 or 4.

Thanks............

Thank you for an excellent story. This goes far beyond a sexual fantasy. I hope to read more of your stories and would love to read the following chapters of this one. Again thank you

Though I was somewhat taken aback by your London inacuracies: St Martin-in-the-Fields is NOT a cathedral, just a slightly richer than usual parish church made famous by the Orchestra with the same name: it is on Trafalgar Square, which is an infinately more famous landmark and maybe better used as a reference.

Greenwich, is so far outside London that you wouldn't bother visiting it unless you wanted to see the Cutty Sark and Greenwich Village is in New York so the reference in the story is kind of jolting.

And a Pharmacy is not a convenience store. In England they are called Chemists, and they will sell cosmetics but not clothing - they are not a Rite Aid or CVS or Walgreens which are convenience stores.

You could argue, this is just a story, fantasy, what does it matter? But it does, it creates a jolt, disconuity, that niggles and niggles the reader so they stop taking in the content that follows.

In this story, London was an important setting to further the father daughter relationship and the inaccuracies spoiled that key moment in your story.

The rest of the story was great.

Hi there,

I only read six pages so far, and do enjoy the story greatly, BUT I just came across David's explanation of "Project Odyssey". Dispite his frustration about Hollys lag of knowledge, he gets the story utterly WRONG. The Odyssey does not tell the story of the golden flees!!! That is the story of Jason and the Argonauts!

Even though I have not finished reading, yet, I had to get this of my chest.

I like your story so far, but this is embarrassing!

It took me quite a good little while to finish reading this, but I must say I really enjoyed this story. Really liked that you gave it all to read at once instead of piecemeal, since many times when that happens it takes months between updates, if it ever finishes.

Good work on this one, and I'm really looking forward to additional book(s) in this series.

For those of you who pointed out the factual errors I made in the story- thank you VERY much!!! Most of them were just boneheaded mistakes that I SHOULD have dealt with in editing. The errors regarding London and its landmarks were pure idiocy on my part- I KNEW I should've fact-checked that stuff and it simply slipped my mind. Mea culpa- and they WILL be fixed in future versions/revisions of the story!

As for those who've complained about the story's length- clearly you didn't read the author's note at the VERY beginning of the story. If you don't like long stories just pass them up; why waste the time to make vulgar and insulting remarks? You may complain about something so banal while I may delete said complaints with hardly a thought.

And for the rest who've enjoyed the story, THANK YOU. I'm extremely glad that you enjoyed it and hope that you will continue to enjoy my work in the future!

Interesting that one of the team members has only superpowers while the sun is shining. I am pretty sure you put her in training room w/o the sun shining there and she has to check (dark) tunnels "because she is the fastest".

Nevertheless: A superb story! Loved to read it

This was well told and needs just a little better research into mythology.

Odysseus was the King of Ithaca, coerced into leaving his beloved wife and son so that he would fight for the Greeks against the Trojans. Because he insulted Poseidon, the god that protected the Trojans as well as the father of the Cyclops, who he blinded, he was cursed to sail for ten years.

The name of the program should be Argo, which was the ship sailed by the best demigods and heroes Greece could produce called the Argonauts.

Jason was the the one who stole/claimed the golden fleece after Medea fell in love with him and helped him take the mystic wool.

Check out the Greek myths. They are well-worth the time and rich sources for inspiration.

Remember that mass and velocity equal impact. If someone has the mass equal to the impact of an object, such as a .45, they will weigh a lot.

These are relatively minor pointers and all related to research.

I hope that Nightshadow has impregnated Kathy and soon gets to impregnate Holly. Perhaps Aventine could have an affair with Leviathan. Between them, they could create a complete tribe of mini super-heroes. That's one way of ensuring this story continues for years to come, as it deserves to, despite the confusion between Oddysseus and Jason.

Brilliant! 5/5.

It is a good storyline. I liked it, even with the length. Letting a story build enhances its enjoyment. But, did you really have to inject smoking into the story? It wasn't really necessary...

I really enjoyed this story, thanks for writing it!

i would really like it if the son got into the mix but maybe later in time of couse and will he also be david's son? please continue. its a lot of fun to read.

Having been fully and correctly informed of the few but glaring mistakes I've made in the narration of this story, I am currently working on a Book Two which will pick up from where we left off but will also address those errors. Project ODYSSEY is now called Project SERAPH (Soldier Enhancement Research: Allied Powers Headquarters); certain physiological and reproductive impossibilities will be correctly portrayed; NightShade's confusing hair issue will be settled; and other minor tidbits will be fixed, also. I can't say when, exactly, I'll have Book Two completed, but it IS in the works.

Finally finished it and I must I really enjoyed it. Perhaps not as much as a couple of others but great nonethelesss.

Rafman is wrong, the last thing this story needs is cheating amongst the soldiers. And while I'm here I want to voice one minor quibble about the story. I feel bad for Darren! Poor kid looks up to his step-dad and has to deal with a sister crushing on him. And what happens? The step-dad becomes a superhero, bangs the daughter, travels back in time and makes said daughter, continues banging his now newly rejuvenated wife; poor kid is doomed if he ever wants to be a fraction of the man of his step-dad now...

An excellent storyline. As a boy growing up I read EVERY comic book I could lay my hands on and I have to say my favorite part of this story is the detail concerning Nightshade's origin! One of the best super-hero origins I've ever read! Wonderful!

Damn! can you write...

I actually like the womb fucking, rivers of cum, cum-eating and impregnation written about.

It would be cool it the both kids were his own and if sonny could get some mommy & mabe knock her up?

PLEASE?

Holly as not yet having acquired the alien DNA can not be the time traveler that transports her step father to impregnate her mother.

David can not preprogram his blood to make it a perfect match for the project because at the time he was selected due those blood properties he did not have them as a super powered person. Not a bad story but if you are going to write science fiction at least carefully read the masters(Heinlein,Anderson Ect)

Sharps are not neo nazi skins, the acronym sharp stands for Skin Heads Against Racial Prejudice,as such you would never find one with a swastika on him/her.

I've addressed BOTH of those issues in Book 2, actually. Additionally, there are several changes I have since made to Book 1 which have not yet been published (but they will be). And, for the nonce, I HAVE read "The Masters". Lots. But thanks for the commentary.

Your story was very well written, and I always enjoy it when someone writes a story and takes the time to put in this much detail and have such a well written storyline. Not to mention how great of a choice you made with the Incest and hermaphrodite sexual situations. Keep up the good work!

Absolutely loved the detail it was phenomenal but I wasn't to keen on David becoming a hermafrodite.

Another story that I couldn't put down and now greatly look forward to reading Bk. 02. I won't mention some of the "misses" in the story because others have already touched on them. For me it doesn't really knock me out of the story and ruin anything. At most it's a skip; I may read that part over again to see if I made a mistake but I move on still fully entrenched in your tale. Thank you for writing these and being quite the inspiration, to me anyway, to pick back up on my writing again.

awsome story. like you said at the begining it is long, but in a good way. i loved the twist on the super soldier angle

I may be an idiot but what did you mean when you said:

"I gulped and nodded my head slowly. "I think so," I answered. "Better keep lead bricks away from me, huh?"

right after he was changing the metal balls into different things

only thing i could figure was mentioned in the report about the team it said he had basic alchemy powers such as turning lead bricks into gold bricks. hope that's right at least.

At the end of chapter six, it's not the Odyssey that involves the golden fleece, that was Jason and the Argonauts, the Odyssey was Odysseus' journey home from troy after he pissed off Poseidon god of the sea etc...but i digress, you used the wrong reference.

After reading all of the comments, I could not believe nobody caught his error. It comes under "basic Geography". England and Belgium are separated by the English Channel. To get to Belgium from England, you have to catch the Ferry at Dover. You can not "ride a bus" from London to Belgium.

Otherwise a great read.

Get the fuck over it. It is a work of fiction. Great read.

I enjoyed the story-line very much. I only wish that you hadn't ended it so much in the air. Either end it to end it or i think it needs a sequel or at least some fast paced new chapters that give an ending without the cliff-hangers.

After the first page or two I thought no way, forget it , I'm glad I kept on reading. The story slowly got me well and truly sucked in. . Can't wait for you to complete book 2. From 1 star to 5 ...

I Absolutely love this story!! Whatever made you write this story, keep your wonderful storytelling ability going. Also please continue with this one...I am anxious to get more.🌹😸

Satisfied reader.

WOW

The temperature the surface of the sun is 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit. The temperature of the room was reported as 36,000 degrees Fahrenheit, almost 4 times hotter than the surface of the sun. If the room really did reach that temperature, the entire base, at the very least, would be vaporized because the strongest thermal shielding available can only withstand about 5,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

However, there are some errors here and there. 36.000F would vaporize all thermal shielding in the room. He can go at a maximum of Mach 4, which is approximately 1.200 meters per second (depending on altitude and temperature). Speed on the ground is 10.000 meters per second or approximately Mach 30...

Operational security is another issue, considering the likely security classification of such a project it would be unthinkable to be permitted to discuss these things at home.

The sex part? Loved it!

Just a couple of very minor points...in the UK a convenience store is equal to a 7 - 11, whereas a pharmacy is just another name for a chemist shop. The name of the game is 'Research'.

I suppose, just for the sake of argument, that they were too wiped out to think of having Holly come back and warn them at that time IF Kathy had gotten pregnant? I mean, they thought about her daughter possibly developing powers, but not that? Different priorities, I guess.

I so can’t wait for Bk. 02:

If only Alpha Team could be made real!

They would be able to clean up the mess that we have made of today’s society.

Enough,is enough.Bring it On

I really didn't want to gave you 5, because of monotonic side of your sexual scenes. But for your labor of writing 26 pages and good story I gave you that. But I really hope you'll end up adding multiple side of sexuality, like anal to your stories.

Good luck

What a great combination of SCI-FI and incest, my two favorite categories! I only wish He had a sister instead of a daughter, but this is excellent! Good Work!

Love this story. Good job.

One factual correction: SHARPs are ANTI-fascist skins, not neo-nazis. It's an acronym for Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice. They're good lads.

Pussy whipped protagonist. Never got past the first page. Imagine 25 pages of more or less than same drivel...

I really like ALL aspects of the story, except the sex 😩. It’s all good though because I just skip by all of the sex scenes and continue on to read the rest.

An unusual story for me to read as I am not particularly a Sci-fi fan. This has been an interesting read but you should check your anatomical and physiological facts, the entry of a penis into the uterine chamber would cause severe pain and need surgical intervention to repair.

Titanium is not stronger than steel.

Only thing I minded was confounding Odysseus with Jason, the actual captain of the Argo who went in search of thecGolden Fleece.

This is great. It's so rare to see superpower erotica that actually includes superpowers. And well written too. I'll admit that not all of it was to my taste but I can objectively say that I think it was good stuff.

I do have a few critiques:

* There were a few spelling mistakes that would be picked up by any decent text editor, and it bugs me to see such easy quality edits left in published work.

* The way you explained temperature when he's playing around with pyrokinesis is just flat out wrong. The speed of the particles is the energy that we know as heat, they don't rub against eachother.

my only real complaint is i feel kinda bad about the son not being involved. especially when he knows what's going on. i also like the writing style even if the sex was removed or toned down.

Nice story, but you might be exposing yourself to a copyright infringement lawsuit from the publishers of Avenger comic books - The body morph? From that point forward things got really silly - Bye the way, prone is face down and supine is face up - Also from a military standpoint, there would be a follow on Team BRAVO, not Team Beta - That said, I think I'll now have to just go and fuck myself . . . .